07-22-2008, 04:57 AM
Childless couples face adoption problems
STEVE DOWNES
22 July 2008 06:01
By STEVE DOWNES, Education correspondent
Childless couples in Norfolk who dream of adopting a tiny baby and bringing it up as their own are being turned away by officials or told to “accept the challenge” of older children with special needs.
In the last year only one newborn baby was placed for adoption in the county, while there has been a surge in the number of children with complex needs and behavioural difficulties.
Heartbroken would-be parents who cannot conceive are facing the end of their dreams - and many are walking away because they cannot face the potential rollercoaster ride of taking on a challenging child.
They are also put off because adopting an older child does not fit in with their hope of taking on a youngster who is a “blank canvas” with no knowledge of their parents or past.
The change has come because - unlike in the 1960s and 1970s - young, unmarried women are no longer expected to give up their babies at birth.
And an expanding army of grandparents and other close relatives are stepping in when times become hard and agreeing to care for the babies themselves.
Now, instead of a host of newborns in need of mums and dads, many of the youngsters waiting to be adopted are among the 844 currently in care in Norfolk - including hundreds in foster families and some in children's homes.
According to Norfolk County Council's adoption agency annual report, the situation has changed so much in the last five years that officials are “unable to accept” applications from families who only want to adopt babies.
It says: “It is unfair on such families, if approved, to wait forever for children who are not going to appear. Similarly it is a waste of scarce staffing resources which can be utilised otherwise to indentify and train adopters willing and able to parent the looked-after children who wait.”
Peter Ward, head of adoption and fostering, said: “Many mothers are now really encouraged and supported to keep their children.
“Traditionally teenage mums were encouraged to give up their children for adoption. It was hardly a choice in the 1960s and 1970s. It was socially expected that they should do it.
“Now young mums are encouraged to keep their babies.”
He added: “The other reason is over the last couple of years there's been a drive towards children who might've been adopted being placed with grandparents and other family members.
“It's very difficult. People in that situation are usually childless couples who have an ideal in their heads about the sort of child they would like to adopt.
“But those children just don't exist within adoption anymore. Children are older or part of sibling groups, or they are children with significant special needs like disabilities or mental health issues. It's very difficult for young couples to consider those sorts of children. It's not what they have in mind.”
Mr Ward said officials tried to encourage couples to consider adopting older children, but were often met with anger by people who found it hard to come to terms with their shattered dreams.
He said: “It's a very hard job for us, so we try to get everybody who makes an enquiry to come in for a presentation on the children who are waiting. We encourage them to find out about those children.
“Sometimes when couples see photographs of the children, some of their prejudices may be put to one side. Maybe they will consider a toddler rather than a baby.
“But it's a big mental leap putting aside that ideal. A lot of them have already been through IVF treatment that has been unsuccessful.
“Some get very angry with us because we haven't got what they want. But we can't do anything about it. The days of young babies with no special needs being placed for adoption have gone.”
The report said Norfolk was continuing to buck the national trend of falling adoptions.
The adoption service increased the number of children being referred for adoption in 2007/8 from 56 to 69 and increased the number matched with adoptive parents from 46 to 56.
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Oh how dare those people keep their own babies, right?
STEVE DOWNES
22 July 2008 06:01
By STEVE DOWNES, Education correspondent
Childless couples in Norfolk who dream of adopting a tiny baby and bringing it up as their own are being turned away by officials or told to “accept the challenge” of older children with special needs.
In the last year only one newborn baby was placed for adoption in the county, while there has been a surge in the number of children with complex needs and behavioural difficulties.
Heartbroken would-be parents who cannot conceive are facing the end of their dreams - and many are walking away because they cannot face the potential rollercoaster ride of taking on a challenging child.
They are also put off because adopting an older child does not fit in with their hope of taking on a youngster who is a “blank canvas” with no knowledge of their parents or past.
The change has come because - unlike in the 1960s and 1970s - young, unmarried women are no longer expected to give up their babies at birth.
And an expanding army of grandparents and other close relatives are stepping in when times become hard and agreeing to care for the babies themselves.
Now, instead of a host of newborns in need of mums and dads, many of the youngsters waiting to be adopted are among the 844 currently in care in Norfolk - including hundreds in foster families and some in children's homes.
According to Norfolk County Council's adoption agency annual report, the situation has changed so much in the last five years that officials are “unable to accept” applications from families who only want to adopt babies.
It says: “It is unfair on such families, if approved, to wait forever for children who are not going to appear. Similarly it is a waste of scarce staffing resources which can be utilised otherwise to indentify and train adopters willing and able to parent the looked-after children who wait.”
Peter Ward, head of adoption and fostering, said: “Many mothers are now really encouraged and supported to keep their children.
“Traditionally teenage mums were encouraged to give up their children for adoption. It was hardly a choice in the 1960s and 1970s. It was socially expected that they should do it.
“Now young mums are encouraged to keep their babies.”
He added: “The other reason is over the last couple of years there's been a drive towards children who might've been adopted being placed with grandparents and other family members.
“It's very difficult. People in that situation are usually childless couples who have an ideal in their heads about the sort of child they would like to adopt.
“But those children just don't exist within adoption anymore. Children are older or part of sibling groups, or they are children with significant special needs like disabilities or mental health issues. It's very difficult for young couples to consider those sorts of children. It's not what they have in mind.”
Mr Ward said officials tried to encourage couples to consider adopting older children, but were often met with anger by people who found it hard to come to terms with their shattered dreams.
He said: “It's a very hard job for us, so we try to get everybody who makes an enquiry to come in for a presentation on the children who are waiting. We encourage them to find out about those children.
“Sometimes when couples see photographs of the children, some of their prejudices may be put to one side. Maybe they will consider a toddler rather than a baby.
“But it's a big mental leap putting aside that ideal. A lot of them have already been through IVF treatment that has been unsuccessful.
“Some get very angry with us because we haven't got what they want. But we can't do anything about it. The days of young babies with no special needs being placed for adoption have gone.”
The report said Norfolk was continuing to buck the national trend of falling adoptions.
The adoption service increased the number of children being referred for adoption in 2007/8 from 56 to 69 and increased the number matched with adoptive parents from 46 to 56.
**************************************************
Oh how dare those people keep their own babies, right?