Many thanks to those who weighed in on the August question: What childfree stereotype have you been subjected to most in your life? Check out the summary of what people said:
http://lauracarroll.com/2011/09/reportin...-question/
This month's question is on the topic of childfree legacies.
What kinds of legacies have you seen the childfree leave?
What legacy would you like to leave?
Let's hear your thoughts~! Laura
I am a living legacy of my childfree mentor.
I met her when I was 19 and she was 40. She died at the age of 57 in 2007 and I like to think I continue to carry on her torch. She taught me that was OKAY to not want and not have kids. She taught me that life is and should be FUN. There is no sense in burdening yourself with a life you didn't want... you can have the life you choose. She taught me that.
She also travelled very light... didn't have a lot of earthly possessions and when she died, she donated ALL of it to charity. She knew her (mostly CF) friends had all they needed and stuff is just stuff. Because she died before she retired, there was life insurance and pension money, and she left that to her friends and family... I got a huge chunk of it, and I was the first one listed in the will, over her neices and nephews (who got a fifth of what I got) so that blew me away. She took care of her CF friends. She knew we would ENJOY the money and not just sock it away for Junior's prom dress or what have you.
I spent ALL the money on a four-month cross country adventure. I lived in a van and got to visit every place and almost everyone on this board. LOL That is a huge childfree legacy to leave behind.
I leave the books I have written and the people I have taught to think critically and write clearly. Also, I have set up and manage the family genealogy.
I can't think of any other childfree legacy except something similar: writers, actors, artists and so on who create instead of reproducing. Salvador Dali and Katherine Hepburn are good examples.
I think as childfree individuals we leave behind hugely valuable legacies that we just wouldn't have had the opportunity to as parents. I've written a book, traveled the world, lived in other countries, all the while leaving my mark in various ways.
Isn't it interesting eslebee, how many of us are into genealogy? I find genealogy completely fascinating and yes, that is another legacy I will leave behind. I've done loads of research into different branches of my family tree that no one ever bothered to do.
I only really care about animals, specifically dogs and wolves. I'm a canine alternative health provider, I educate people about their dogs' needs, and their nutritional needs. If I can get people to take care of their dogs better, feed them better, and think of them in a different way, then that's success. I've made the pups' lives better, and perhaps these people will pass that on to their friends or kids.
I also volunteer with dog rescues. I do various things for the rescues, including promotions by letting people know how important it is to adopt, I tell them about the rescues. I massage homeless Pit Bulls, I help Pugs find homes, I raise money. I organized 2 fundraisers for a wild animal sanctuary in Oklahoma so they could get a security system after some worthless bastards walked in at night and murdered some of the wolves.
I'll be doing stuff like this for animals forever. I'd love to start a foundation so I could give big piles of cash to rescues and sanctuaries.
Betty White is CF and she's been doing great things for animals for years. She'll leave that legacy, holding animals in the same regard most people reserve only for children.
Bob Barker and his wife never had children, although they were married for 36 years until she died. He's done so much for animals, it's amazing. He had a great platform on The Price Is Right to remind people to spay and neuter their pets. He's donated millions of dollars to the Sea Shepherds so they could get a new ship and helicopter to help in their efforts to save whales from being murdered by the Japanese whaling fleet. He's a tremendous advocate for animal rights, and I'd love to be able to help on the same scale, but he's got millions of dollars. So I've got to help in smaller, more personal ways.
Cloudberry, the child-burdened don't have time for genealogy. Isn't that ironic?
I'm really much more interested in living and doing for today than I am in leaving some sort of legacy behind.
If I was interested in a legacy, I would have had children.
I'm with NKB, I really don't think about my "legacy". I enjoy the time I spend doing things for others, in the past on the library board and with the animal shelter and now via Hospice. I don't consider that leaving a legacy, but hopefully it's doing something positive in the world.
I don't think we're consciously creating legacies; they just turn out to be the things you've done or the influence you had. If you're in the habit of doing nice things for people, that's your legacy. Passing along a recipe, taking beautiful pictures. Now that I think about it, there are a lot of possibilities.
We can leave behind a legacy after we die, but I feel like legacies die after a while. The only people that have legacies are very famous people.
I can't think of anyone who has left behind a legacy because of child freeness. I know that there are legendary people that were child free.
But they were not noted because of being child free. It's just that they were noted for what they did.
Some famous names pop up and then I'd be told that they were child free. I would be surprised.
I think child-freedom gives us the time to leave legacies, intentional or otherwise. If you poop out a brat, and spend the rest of your life trying to keep it out of jail or off welfare, is that a legacy? Whereas if you plant a garden and tend it, and inspire someone else to plant a garden, and that garden inspires yet another, isn't that a legacy?
(09-01-2011 05:00 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]Cloudberry, the child-burdened don't have time for genealogy. Isn't that ironic?
LOL I know! sure I find it interesting to do the research on a personal level but in the end - it's the children of my family that will benefit from my work.
(09-03-2011 02:41 AM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]I think child-freedom gives os the time to leave legacies, intentional or otherwise. If you poop out a brat, and spend the rest of your life trying to keep it out of jail or off welfare, is that a legacy? Whereas if you plant a garden and tend it, and inspire someone else to plant a garden, and that garden inspires yet another, isn't that a legacy?
Many years ago a relative from overseas wrote to my mum recalling stories he was told by my great grandfather about events of the war. I had my mother translate the letter in to English for me so I could have it to keep and refer to at a later stage since I was sure I'd forget the verbal translation she'd given me.
Years later, I passed the translated letter back to a relative (a childfree aunt) who was as fascinated by its contents as I was. As it turned out, my aunt's best friend was an editor of a large publishing house who at the time was looking for unique content to include in a book about a little known war. Crucial details about the war contained in that letter which I had had translated and held on to all those years, ended up in the book which will go on to inform generations to come. Quite powerful really.
I'm sure many of us do, create and contribute to things that will go on to affect others in the future. It's the nature of life.
A child is not necessarily a legacy. I think the good we do for each other, for animals and plants, and for the planet as a whole is the ultimate legacy. As a professor, I've taught thousands of students over 21 years. Most of them have gone on to become productive members of society as far as I know, and I'm pretty sure that a significant number of them have used what I helped them learn as part of becoming who they are. I've reviewed and written textbooks which help educate students also. DH and I have rescued six cats and five dogs so far. We recycle. We do social justice projects at our synagogue. We volunteer our services as professionals to help those who need us. Those are the kinds of things I think of as legacies. Good pays itself forward and perpetuates the quality of life for others. That's really all the legacy I need.
Perhaps by influencing the people I meet.
However, so what if I don't leave one? 50 years later, will even most of the population be remembered on a regular basis, even those with kids? Myself and my cousins don't really think about our great great grandparents on a daily basis, we don't honor them or discuss them, or even know them.
My thought is, when I die, who cares if I have a bunch of people sitting around thinking of me or doing things in my name. Like I'll even know the difference. I just prefer to live the best life I can, and when it's over, well.... it's over.
I agree with you, Dana. Legacy or not, my name may be attached or not, and it won't matter a bit to me. I know I've done some good things. That's enough for me. And what a good thing that, in 50 years, no one will remember my mistakes, either!
ETA: This legacy question has raised another issue: How much of our patriarchal naming practices come from that apparent urge to mark things with names? Glad I nipped that in the bud for "my" names. Maybe it's better to change with each generation, so that each person can be somehow unique. I don't know, just thinking as I type.
Good question - it's time to decouple the idea of legacy from children. Just as a family is not necessarily defined by having children, a legacy is not always what parents pass on to their kids (or the kids themselves). I'm fairly proud of not having had kids for environmental reasons - a legacy of sorts, perhaps - and for having tried to reduce my footprint in many other ways. I've published an obscure scholarly book and several articles which a few people might read after I'm gone. Mostly, I consider my teaching as a kind of legacy. If I have any money to bequeath when I go, I'll split it between my niece, nephew, and a few select charities.
What intelligent and thoughtful responses--love it. I am with you - it really is time to decouple the idea of legacy from children. So many other ways to look at what legacy means. And like some of you write, not to focus so much on what the person "left behind" but how they are contributing to others and the world Now...
Please let's read more thoughts~! Laura
Sorry But I cannot answer this one. I have nothing to give to nobody and I am sure it will stay that way.
We are so deep in debt, that the city or state will take our house when we die.
And if we don't die together ( as in our ideal dream) If I am left a widow, I will be forced to live on welfare in my old age.
If my hubby is left a widower. Lord knows what he will do, cause he always claims he will be lost without me.
So, no legacies here, sorry.