Thanks to all who answered last month's question: Who has been least accepting of you not wanting kids?
See the summary of what everyone said on this forum and others:
http://lauracarroll.com
This month's question:
As a childfree person, what do you like Most about the Christmas holiday? What do you like the Least?
Answer here or on the blog, I collect responses over the month and will report back~
Thanks!
Laura
Hmmmm....I don't like xmas at all. I don't like the music, the religion, the kiddie crap, the tacky decor, the pushing to buy, buy, buy. It's all just so stressful and crappy and cheap.
The only thing I like is that I sometimes get to see my husband, he's in the military and this xmas season I get to see him for 10 whole days. And sometimes we just spend it alone together, and that's great. I also like the fact that we don't have to spend a giant pile of cash we don't have on plastic junk for kids. We get one thing for each other and something for our dogs and maybe something for our neighbors' dogs, and that's it. I don't even usually bother with holiday cards anymore, it's a waste of paper.
The thing I like the least is when we're roped into hanging out with his extremely large family. His siblings all have tons of screaming children, and most of the parents are right wingers and/or religious nutcases, so any kind of interesting or meaningful conversation is completely out of the question. Of course, conversation is out of the question anyway because there are so many children screaming. I've put out the idea that the times he's around for the holiday, perhaps we should just use that time to travel somewhere so we can have fun and get out of the screaming children and their nutty parents, but we never have the money go anywhere, especially with three dogs.
Generally speaking I cringe from Thanksgiving to January 1st.
(12-01-2010 05:26 PM)anastasia Wrote: [ -> ]Hmmmm....I don't like xmas at all. I don't like the music, the religion, the kiddie crap, the tacky decor, the pushing to buy, buy, buy. It's all just so stressful and crappy and cheap.
Generally speaking I cringe from Thanksgiving to January 1st.
Pretty much my feelings.
I love Christmas but screaming babies in every venue can ruin it. What I like most is the music and decorations, what I like least is anyplace that features screaming brats. Yesterday someone brought one to my office. In college! Hey! Leave your brat home, please. The week before that, it was the frickin' VA hospital. You don't expose your kids to that environment, okay? It's dangerous to them and annoying to us.
So we are careful to avoid activities and "family" friendly venues, which means adult UNfriendly. We'd rather stay home anyhow.
By the way, that link never works. I can never see any answers.
The best thing about being CF at Christmas is that I don't have to give in to 'Santa'. I don't celebrate it at all if possible as I prefer to go on vacation away from there, and if I do then it's spent with family to a minimal extent and I try to avoid presents.
What do I least enjoy? Everything. Oh, although I get uptight about those ignorant people who get completely in a huff about those who want the holiday to be non-religious, and they say "It's not that hard to celebrate Christmas, why do they have to get uptight about my wanting everyone to celebrate it?!" without realising how hypocritical that is...
What I enjoy most is the music, the feeling of good things to come, spending time with the people i care most about.
What I HATE about it, the constant pressure to buy everyone something. It has become SOOOOOOOO overly commercialized that i cannot stand it. Luckily, having given up watching TV a few years ago, I am not AS exposed to all the constant bombardment of advertisements, but even the radio ads, ads in news papers, and online get to be too much.
Just give me a peaceful, quiet, enjoyable time with my loved ones, share some good food, laughs, and nothing more.
The things I dislike about Christmas:
The whole consumerist attitude that to show love you must buy people stuff. I've always felt that the way you treat someone shows more than the ability to just charge something on a credit card.
The family thing. Not every family gets along in the Hallmark style. For people who are alone it really is rubbing salt in the wound to see all these happy families.
The begathon thing, like the United Way or the Salvation Army or god help me the panhandlers. Get the hell away from me you leeches!
Things I do like about Christmas:
The winter solstice has finally passed so the days are getting brighter. Trust me, anyone with Seasonal Affective Disorder loves this!
The feeling of being with people you care about.
The music, but not that crappy Christmas Rock or Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer, but the older music. It may have religious overtones, but it's more peaceful.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas!!!
What I love best -- the joy of the season, the nip in the air, the festive lights (I like pretty shiny things!), the stores stuffed with wonderful things to buy and/or give, and the general feeling that suffuses through me. I love Christmas!
What I don't love are the people who think Christmas is just for children. They get pushy in the stores, and then make it seem like the rest of us are in the way. It equally astounds me that these same "Christmas are for Kids" people are usually Christians, and seem to forget that Jesus was talking to the grown-ups!
I dislike:
(already mentioned by others)
-Super-Tacky decor---the gigantic blow-up yard displays, the piles of cheap, ugly toys, etc..
-The begathons. It is so tiresome to continually be asked for donations, gifts and so on.
-The forced fambly stuff. Family does not always equal joy and happiness. I do not appreciate people trying to guilt me into get-togethers because it is family.
I love
-Many Christmas songs, esp. the 80's xmas music (George, Micheal (Wham!), Captain Sensible, Pet Shop Boys, The Waitresses)
-Cooler weather which means winter clothes! I love jeans, boots, scarves, hats, gloves, sweaters.
-Holiday walks. Several of the shopping area in L.A. do Holiday walks. It really is not for shopping, but for tree-lighting, singing, food/drinks, cute holiday lights . I love it!
I wanted to add, I also love:
-The old Holiday, claymation specials. I actually have them om DVD, lol.
-The short days. I love it when it gets dark earlier. I always have.
-Cooking. I love making Holiday desserts.
Like Most:
-- lotsa days off work
-- neat stuff for sale in the stores
Like Least:
-- Christian overtones
-- stoopit music
-- crowds
-- commercialism
-- Santa in the stores (I despise the concept of santa)
-- people presuming you celebrate xmas
-- people giving you a hard time if you say you do not celebrate xmas
-- did I mention that horrible music??
-- freezing cold temperatures
-- greed
-- obnoxious conspicuous consumption where everyone seems to be buying crap for the sake of buying crap
-- the earful I get when I say "I'm not christian so I don't celebrate xmas" and being told "xmas is not christian!"
I SHIT YOU NOT! LOL
I hate most things about xmas. I only like the time off work and the few days after winter solstice when, although it doesn't feel like it, I *know* the days are getting longer, even if just by a bit. LOL
I like:
-the lights. Tacky they may be, but I like the way they make the towns look a little more cheeful and remind me that the days will start getting longer once again.
-the fact that people stop to think about others in their lives, even if it's just to buy them a bunch of stuff they probably don't need.
I hate:
-clients who bemoan the holidays and think they're the ONLY ones in their world with dysfunctional/estranged families who don't have anywhere to go or anyone to visit on the holidays. I get that you feel lonely, but in the big scheme of things, its just another calendara day. Besides, start making alternative arrangements, if you think its going to be that big of a problem.
-having to deal with family members I'd prefer not to visit.
-even though I'm Christian, I don't like those who lecture eveyone on the meaning of the holiday, esp. the fundies who think they're so high and mighty. Um, Christmas has pagan roots, so we'll probably all meet up in hell anyway.
-overcrowded stores.
-the overabundance of food. Its hard enough to maintain my weight without cookies suddenly being offered everywhere.
-I suck at picking gifts, so the pressure and lack of ability to get something for those I care about.
What I like:
-Having several days off that I get to spend with my husband. We make it a point to schedule a few of those days for just the two of us to do things together, we call it "sweetie time".
-Family get to-gethers. I love getting to see some of my family that I sometimes only see once a year.
-Giving gifts to friends and family. I love when I find the perfect gift for someone, especially if it is something that I can make for them (I'm very crafty).
-Cooking for other people. I like to entertain and my favorite part about that is creating yummy dishes for people for people I care about.
-The cooler weather means I get to use the fireplace.
What I dislike:
-Short days (fewer hours of sunlight), but at least the shortest day of the year is right around xmas.
-Spending too much money on presents for my BIL/SIL and their 3 kids, only to receive a framed picture of them and maybe a box of candy they picked up at Walgreens on the way over (this has happened 3 years in a row now).
-Awkward religious conversations with the few fundies in our family.
I'm not religious or Christian, so I am not that into Christmas. I enjoy having a nice Christmas dinner and exchanging gifts, but I don't go in for all the other month-long crap that goes along with it. I might feel different about it if I had kids, but I don't know.
ETA: I did go to synagogue for Hanukkah services last night. It was VERY kid-oriented and I felt out-of-place.
Things I hate:
The usual I hate about holidays: the "traditions" that people feel they "have" to follow, or there's something wrong.
Everyone thinks they have to succumb to what society tells them their holiday has to be. The women complaining about the all-day cooking marathons, people acting like they HAVE to do things they don't want like fighting crowds to spend money they don't have, the fact that they "have" to do certain things with certain people.
The ones that feel the need to spend tons of money on their rotten, unappreciative kids.
The fact that my DH never buys me anything, and not to sound materialistic but I always try to do something nice and thoughtful for him, he expects it, but always at the last minute says "nevermind" once he has his gift and I'm left without so much as a thought. Then if I'm upset he gets angry at me, but wow does he expect gifts at every holiday for himself. So I just quit buying him anything.
I HATE the music. I hate the crowds at the place I want to shop.
I hate that things change (goes for any holiday) places aren't open because everyone needs to extend their time off as long as possible. I'm always glad after New Years when life returns to "normal".
Things I like:
I would say the weather but it's 74 degrees here today. I do like it, but I like my Christmas cold.
I like a bit of change from the norm, the food and friends and the atmosphere, the feeling in the air that something different is going on (but I'm more than ready when it's over)
It varies year-to-year - sometimes when we are with family I do like it, the years we aren't with them have been up and down.
If we have a nice dinner I enjoy the leftovers and the desserts.
It's nice when I can to put up my tree.
Really there's not a lot I like about it. It's too commericialized to me, and it turns people into drones who just do so much because that is "just what you do". I know so many other military wives who whine because they aren't with their mommy and daddy (they are grown and married!) or they can't have the "Norman Rockwell" Bullshit Christmas. One thing I liked about the Xmases we were without family, was doing something special - holing up in our house, hiding from the world, or going on a nice trip, etc. Making our own traditions that were NOT the ones society dictated. I always enjoyed that.
What I like about Winter/Xmas:
It's dark, longer- I like it because I'm more 'nocturnal.' As well as someone with 'super sensitive skin'/allergic to the sun.
It is cold- therefore I demand warm-cuddle time from hubby.
Excuse to cook- the apartment smells delicious and the oven warms up the kitchen. Hubby likes the cookies I bake.
Winter Solstice/Yule- One of the pagan 'xmas' roots. "Rebirth" - Heathan new year.
What I dislike about Winter/Xmas:
Hubby gets a bad case of the Winter Blues.
The In-Laws - my family is 10 hours away, the in-laws are 45 minutes. Guess who insist we be with "because it's the holidays and holidays are for family"? (Because we don't have the resources to see my family.)
Xmas stuff has been up in stores since before Halloween.
Buy. Buy. Buy. (Tell people you love them x amount of $)
Coca-Cola's RED Santa at the mall. (If that isn't commercialism at it's finest?!)
What I like:
-some food and other goods are cheaper ( but you have to be careful when to shop to avoid crowds)
What I dislike:
- consumerism, consumerism, consumerism
- short days make cycling on the road more difficult/dangerous
- the constant bombardment of Xmas music in public
- religious expectations/expressions in public places
- people assuming that Xmas is mandatory and get pissy if you chose to opt out and express that politely
- crowds
- all events and activities are Xmas-oriented
- child/family -focused activities as the expected societal mandatory requirement
- tacky and consumptive decorations ( I think that blow-up displays that need power to actually exist shows a very bad mindset)
- people under very high extra stress and individuals/ society's expectation that that is "normal"
- begathons and guilt-ridden expectations ( " You should......._________________")
(12-01-2010 04:19 PM)lauracarroll Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks to all who answered last month's question: Who has been least accepting of you not wanting kids?
See the summary of what everyone said on this forum and others: http://lauracarroll.com
This month's question:
As a childfree person, what do you like Most about the Christmas holiday? What do you like the Least?
Answer here or on the blog, I collect responses over the month and will report back~
Thanks!
Laura
I am new to this board and may be an anomoly as well. I am a therapist who works with adults all day 6 days a week. I am also a Spiritual teacher and there is so much to say on this childfree subject.
To answer your questions:
I like having tons of money, the freedom to not be led around by a kid, to be able to leave a family members house who does have kids. I love the lights, the quiet and oddly enough some alone time with God while everyone else is worrying about what to buy and where they will get the money to do it on their child burdened life.
I love Christmas, but I would separate the word "holiday" and "christmas" in your question. Christmas is just the official; celebration of Christs birth, the holiday has become a celebration of the amount of sales stores have done throughout the season.
I like: Christmas cards (because I like getting mail that isn't a bill), food (including baked goods), and living far enough away from both my family AND my inlaws that I get to spend Christmas alone with my husband.
I dislike: Malls, people begging for my hard-earned money, and my birthday being so close to Christmas.
Hi there, Re not being able to see answers on the blog I designed it so that comments come straight to me as a way to encourage as much honesty as possible. At the end of every month, I post a vlog that summarizes what people said over the course of the month. Thanks for writing yours! ~Laura
(12-01-2010 10:18 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]I love Christmas but screaming babies in every venue can ruin it. What I like most is the music and decorations, what I like least is anyplace that features screaming brats. Yesterday someone brought one to my office. In college! Hey! Leave your brat home, please. The week before that, it was the frickin' VA hospital. You don't expose your kids to that environment, okay? It's dangerous to them and annoying to us.
So we are careful to avoid activities and "family" friendly venues, which means adult UNfriendly. We'd rather stay home anyhow.
By the way, that link never works. I can never see any answers.
Wow thanks for all the answers--please keep them coming! ~Laura
Yes, I agree that link is a bit confusing. You click on it and it just leads you back to the page you are on. I didn't realize it was JUST a vlog with no blog entry either.