I believe Seventh Day Adventists also don't eat pork. There are other Christian denominations that attempt to follow the Judaic prohibitions, but they are tiny and I have met only a handful of people who belong. It really does depend on how religious they are. If they are strictly kosher/hallal in their home, they're not going to allow any pork product in. People pretty much set their own boundaries from "no forbidden foods anywhere I cook or eat" to "kosher at home but not when eating out" to "no pork or shellfish only, but I'm ok with anything else" and just about everywhere in between.
I've found that flexibility is a huge part of surviving the holidays. We also have to kinda rotate who we spend each holiday with, but if you're ok with celebrating the holiday on a different date with someone you haven't gotten to see in a long time, that's a good option we've had luck with. For example, we don't get to see both sides of my family for christmas, so we try and do a brunch with my dad's side in mid-Jan., because its kinda a little tradition they started to deal with scheduling issues, and late Jan. tends to have very little happening anyway.
Thanks again for the responses.
My apologies if I offended anyone with the religion comment. They are seventh day adventist(my husband left the church years ago) actually I believe that is the root of why his siblings don't care for me. They were hoping their brother would meet a nice aventist girl and come back to the church...but he met me. Since we've been together I've "reformed" him by eating pork, listening to music, dancing, and drinking alcohol. These are all things they frown on.
We had a very nice conversation about visits and such just this morning. We're going to set up a bit of a schedule for when we have his parents over. We don't have a definate plan for holidays, but at least we are able to discuss it. We'll get something figured out. I am glad we're talking about it now and not on November 20th or something.
Glad to hear its working out, Lindsay.
He may get to prefer staying away after a while, himself.
When I was a kid I had an Adventist friend and she refused to eat the hotdogs my mom served us. Some of them are vegetarians too, so at least it sounds like DH's family eats other meats. My DH is vegan(not for religious reasons) so the diet issue can be an issue(like I mentioned before).
For Christmas 2008, my husband and I weren't married yet, I spent Christmas Eve at my Mom's and left very early on Christmas Day to go spend the day with hubby (then family) and his family.
Last year, we both spent the night Christmas Eve at my parents house and pretty well all day Christmas Day there.
We had planned on switching off every year, but I'm going to try to have us spend Christmas Eve at our place and then go up to his parents at some point during Christmas Day.
Last year, his parents waited to open presents until we arrived on Boxing Day. I don't like that idea. I would prefer them to open their gifts as they normally would and just open their gifts to us at our own place.
But whatever I suppose. For the 2 - 3 days a year, I won't make a big fuss on that.
I think you should put your foot down on creating your own traditions. You could still trade off and go to his family every second or third year for just a day (instead of 3 or 4, that seems like a lot).
(07-28-2010 12:23 PM)Lindsay Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks again for the responses.
My apologies if I offended anyone with the religion comment. They are seventh day adventist(my husband left the church years ago) actually I believe that is the root of why his siblings don't care for me. They were hoping their brother would meet a nice aventist girl and come back to the church...but he met me. Since we've been together I've "reformed" him by eating pork, listening to music, dancing, and drinking alcohol. These are all things they frown on.
We had a very nice conversation about visits and such just this morning. We're going to set up a bit of a schedule for when we have his parents over. We don't have a definate plan for holidays, but at least we are able to discuss it. We'll get something figured out. I am glad we're talking about it now and not on November 20th or something.
OH Lindsay I am so HAPPY for you.
Congrats
Like I always say communication is the KEY to any relationship.
And as long as you guys can keep talking you should be able to work everything out, CONGRATS
Your in-laws sound a little bit like my in-laws except I also deal with mental disorders. It is so sucky having in-laws stuck on what they think is the better person for their sibling/son. To me, it says they don't give a shit about what their sibling likes. I was all about trying to be nice to them on the holidays, but they are never nice back. If we ever see them, we stay in a hotel and stay only for a short while. I was raised that family is important no matter how awful or ridiculous they are and to put up with them for the day. However, since we live far away, I don't have to deal with them any more. Good luck in making the holidays a happy time. Sometimes I get sad that my in-laws and very own sister are so messed up that we don't feel welcome in their homes, but I get over it by reminding myself that it is only one day. Soon enough it is over and done with.
Here is a poem I wrote about the holidays.
The Holidays
are not spent with family
nor spent on a fancy cruise
to the Bahamas.
My house is decorated
in green and red, a lighted tree
topped with a doggie angel.
No Christmas crap
of unwanted gifts, fake smiles
and strange relatives.
I’ll break out the fine wine,
go for long walks, sleep in,
be cheerful, eat good.
The holidays are spent
like any other day,
quiet, peaceful and full of grace.
Is that ever the truth! Sounds just like our holidays here.
So happy holidays to everyone in this group, however you celebrate, or if you prefer not to. I hope yours can all be as nice and stress-free as Opilies' lovely poem.
I love your poem!
My BF and I spend our holidays pretty causally. Neither of us gives a "f" about Thanksgiving, but I usually visit with my family that weekend. We switch off each year for Christmas: 1 year with his family, 1 year with mine. No drama. Everyone gets along, for the most part.
Jen M.
Thanks eslbee and bittercat. Hard to believe the holidays are pretty much upon us once again.
I'm bumping this up because I hope Lindsey will tell us how Thanksgiving turned out this year.
She said on her FB page that they went to a buffet and she had her pig meat. But I don't know if her in-laws came along or not.
Since she said also they are hoarders I don't know how anyone could eat in their house!
They are? What a shame.
