Getting fooled by women is a stereotype that plays well in our culture because no one wants to admit to poor judgement. Besides, in this case, it looks like she was the foolee, not the fooler. She is choosing to stay with this moronic oaf. I don't see an upside for her there.
Not all women are the same. Some may very well use manipulation, but others use logic and common sense. If you're saying WE got fooled, I don't see how. She doesn't have the money in her own possession. She has to ask for it with a proper purpose, or she won't get it.
wow, you win the prize for sweetest person in the world. That is sooo kind of you to make that offer. What a wonderful family to have you.
Sorry though that the whole situation seems to be a mess.
(07-24-2010 01:57 PM)Lindsay Wrote: [ -> ]wow, you win the prize for sweetest person in the world. That is sooo kind of you to make that offer. What a wonderful family to have you.
Sorry though that the whole situation seems to be a mess.
We just wanted to help her because she's isolated among all these cro-magnons. But apparently she likes it that way. We really thought losing the baby would send her over the edge, and we were willing to help HER, not him. He did it, he doesn't get a break from us.
For now, the money remains with her sister-in-law for disbursal when appropriate.
It may be too soon for her to decide to leave him. Its generally a bad idea to make major decisions while grieving, and she is most definitely in the grief process right now. She may leave him in the future, but there's also a chance that she honestly doesn't know that better options exist, or that she is worthy of them, and she may stay. I'd think you'd have a better idea of what she honestly wants to do in a year from now, maybe even 2.
Finally, I'd caution against pushing too hard for her to leave him, it may have the opposite of the intended effect.
We haven't actually spoken to her at all. We are not in direct contact. Now if anyone else is saying anything, we have no idea. We don't ask and they don't tell us.