I just don't understand why parents to be want to be all smug about sharing the sex of their baby - what's the big deal?
And the way they say it, "Oh sorry we're not telling anyone". Like I give a shit, seriously! I could care less if it's a boy or a girl and am usually making general chit chat to sound semi interested in the baby.
But it's not the not knowing that bothers me, it's the attitude that they have about keeping such a big secret. So I asked this soon to be mum what the deal was. She said it was to make sure it's a surprise for everyone when the baby arrives! Hmmmkkk... maybe someone will be, but not me. There's not too much of a surprise about it. You're having a baby and it will be a boy or a girl whoopp-ieee!
Yep, I'll be real surprised
I don't know why people care about the surprise. It's not like it avoids gender stereotypes -- it just delays them about six months. Besides, for people who do want to buy gender-stereotypical colors or gifts, it's just a pain in the ass to not know.
Feh -- why tiptoe around the gender stereotype crap? Go shop anywhere, and it's all pastels for girls, with butterflies and and flowers, or it's bold colors with tools and dinosaurs for boys. So, when you don't know the gender, and you really WANT to give a gift, you're stuck in a gift-black hole because parents think the rest of us really want to be surprised.
(Besides, surprise is a bad idea when SOMEBODY really REALLY wants one sex and the other shows up. For god's sake, if you love your friends and family, give them a chance to be disappointed in private, and time to be happy for what actually is arriving!)
In short -- those people are idiots.
I never got this either. Why would you not want to know? It's not like it isn't obvious and as stated before, it's a pain if you're trying to buy a gift.
Just another reason not to interact with breeders. But here's a fun thing: if you don't know the gender, you can just buy toys or accessories or things in non-stereotypical colors, and let them deal with it. That's what I do even if I do know the gender. I would rather poke myself in the eardrum than enforce stereotypes or roles.
(07-08-2010 07:00 PM)PrairieGirl Wrote: [ -> ]Besides, surprise is a bad idea when SOMEBODY really REALLY wants one sex and the other shows up. For god's sake, if you love your friends and family, give them a chance to be disappointed in private, and time to be happy for what actually is arriving!
In short -- those people are idiots.
Oh that's so true! Imagine if someone was hoping for a girl and a boy pops out - SURPRISE! LOL
(07-09-2010 12:27 AM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]Just another reason not to interact with breeders. But here's a fun thing: if you don't know the gender, you can just buy toys or accessories or things in non-stereotypical colors, and let them deal with it. That's what I do even if I do know the gender. I would rather poke myself in the eardrum than enforce stereotypes or roles.
Yeah I totally agree, this person is on my FB list and I never message them but they always message me. I never go out of my way to interact with parents because any communication seems to go down the same path.
I love your strategy advice! That will teach them a lesson. Only buy them hideous yellow or green baby jumpsuits as gifts - let them deal with it LOL
But luckily I'm not close enough to anyone I know that is popping a baby any time soon so I don't have to worry about the gift thing. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest
What is wrong with a generic baby gift that is not biased towards a gender?
We do not need to train people into stereotyping from release from the womb onwards.
I don't see why a boy can't wear pink butterflies. What of it? I mean, really. Or a girl wearing blue trucks. Or whatever. Gender stereoptyping of INFANTS drives me CRAZY!!! It is 100% nonsensical. IF I ever had the misfortune to have to care for an infant I'd deliberately cross gender lines when it came to dressing it and providing toys. Maybe it's better if people *think* that the infant without a penis is a boy - they'll interact with it differently. That could be good.
A girl or boy can be whatever he/she wants to be. Gender is so completely irrelevant. I see nothing wrong with giving a boy dolls and an easy-bake oven and giving a girl mini-monster trucks.
The irony that this thread requiring the identity of an infant's gender is side by side of a thread of how terrible it is to treat women in a sexist manner is not in any lost on me.
From what it sounds like to me it's self-important. Like they think everyon is just dying to know and it gives them more attention that way. They think everyone's talking about it and can't wait to find out.
Although I agree, who cares.
Oh and pink for girls and blue for boys - yawn. If I had a kid I'd do green and yellow and ducks.
On the topic of colors by gender? At the beginning of the 20th century, it was exactly the opposite of what it is now. Blue for girls, pink for boys. So we can all see how it's totally arbitrary, yet people who are too dull-witted to question whatever drivel they are fed continue to be nourished by it.
Frankly, I couldn't care less. I don't care one way or the other if they tell the entire world.
Personally, I think its hysterical when they announce it, but the doctor or whoever did the ultasounds was wrong.
Now that's a suprise, LOL. I don't think that happens as much anymore though, because they do so many ultrasounds now, and with the 3D ones it's pretty hard to mess up.
I've never had the experience of dealing with someone who had the doctor tell them, but refused to tell anyone else. I guess I could kinda understand not wanting the doctor to tell you, but to find out and act like its classified info is kinda stupid.
If a kid wants to wear pink butterflies, I have no problem.
But no infant on the planet has ever made a conscious choice on what to wear. The parents choose for them, and they almost always want to reinforce their own ideas of what a girl is, or what a boy is. It's not just pink butterflies -- it's "Noles Fan" onesies, infant camouflage, Parrothead t-shirt, etc.
(07-09-2010 04:03 PM)cassia Wrote: [ -> ]The irony that this thread requiring the identity of an infant's gender is side by side of a thread of how terrible it is to treat women in a sexist manner is not in any lost on me.
I'd love to ditch the gender roles we have but the fact is that as CF people we are marginal so you shouldn't be surprised by having to make nice with people who have different views. I am from central PA and believe me, if a coworker has a kid and you buy them a gift that isn't gender appropriate you will definitely become the object of gossip.
Not everyone is liberated you know.
But Eddy, you have to care about gossip for that to be a problem. I can't imagine it would matter to most people here. If it did, we'd have kids!
Yes, but the gossip at work can have a definite impact on your career if you don't fit in.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, if you don't fit in because of a small thing like gossip about a gift item, there's more of a poor fit going on. Like it would be crazy for me to work in a fingernail parlor, and they would surely gossip, but the problem would not be he gossip, it would be my contempt for the activity. Also, there's a difference between gossip and fact, and there are laws against creating a hostile work environment. If you are doing your job, gossip is irrelevant, unless and until it makes working there untenable, in which case you have at least a complaint, of not a slander or defamation case.
While I like your attitude, I've been in places like that and if the boss is the one who gossips about you then it can be damn hard to have any sort of recourse. There is a reason why I hate the modern workplace so much and this is why.
Certainly you're right about that Eddy, and the smaller the workplace, the less recourse you're likely to have. But anything over 20 employees and I think it's a different set of rules.