Executive summary: My life sucks ass.
I've been very quiet about this but I'm going to finally spill it. This will be long.
I've failed in terms of getting gainful employment and long story short, I'll be leaving Pittsburgh by the end of July. My only option is to return to my hometown since my finances have imploded. As many of you know I'm not fond of my family but there is no choice here and believe me, it grates on me.
Anyway, my grandmother is supposedly looking for apartments for me to rent but I'm not too optimistic because it's in her interest for me to live with her in dickhead's house. Dickhead is my worthless biological father whom I haven't spoken with in eight years and whom I can't wait to die just so I can see his dead corpse at the funeral.
So basically what will happen is that I'll be stuck living with her senile Alzheimer's ridden ass. She seems to be able to care for herself physically but she has gotten to the point where she has trouble remembering what day it is. She also is apparently having trouble with her finances in terms of paying bills. She claims to be ok in that regard but I wonder.
To add to the joy, dickhead and his bitch wife unilaterally decided to take her dog away from her. This is a big point of contention with me. While I did not approve of an 85 year old woman having a rambunctious puppy, they had no right to take it from her and I strongly disapprove of their actions. Quick summary is that they took the dog for "the weekend" and then never returned it to her. Major legal issues there.
God damn this sucks ass. I can deal with moving to the shithole of my hometown since the rents are cheaper. I can deal with having to deal with my grandmother going senile. Dealing with having to live in dickhead's house with all of the above? Major stress.
I realize this isn't coherent, but I needed to just get this off my chest.
Eddy, we're all on your side. You know that. The grandmother will pass soon, so that will be one less thing. And maybe you CAN find a job there. At least, you can make your life all about looking, to spend as little time at "home" as possible.
Ugh, Eddy, that's really shitty. But I have a question, why does it have to be your old home town you move to? Pennsylvania is pretty big, lots of little towns with cheaper rent all over, if you have to have cheaper rent why not just go to one of those other small towns? Or maybe even go to some random small town in some other state that also has a lower cost of living? It still sucks ass in a major way, but you'd be away from the family and on your own.
Sorry Eddy. This sounds awful.
I agree with Anastasia. Is there any way you can find cheaper housing where you are? How about government assisted living?
I'm sure you've thought this through, as moving in with your family is a last resort. Hopefully you won't have to do that but if you do, try not let it get the best of you. I know that's easy for us to say - we don't live your life - but I hope it all works out for you.
((Eddy)) I'm sorry this is happening. I hope you can find a job after you move and get your finances stablized and everything back on track again. We're here for you.
I'm sorry this is happening Eddy! I don't have much advice. Have you signed on with any temp agencies? I know you hate that, but maybe you could stay in Pittsburgh that way.
Oh, Gods, Eddy. This is terrible, and every fiber of my being is yelling "No! No! No! Big mistake!" I realize you don't appear to have any other choices.
I so wish I had a room I could rent you. I'd do it in a heartbeat.
As CNK said: We are here for you. I really hope you can avoid living with your toxic family members.
Jen M.
Eddy, I'm confused. I thought your family was dead to you. If they were *actually* dead, you would not have this option. Pretend they are dead, and this is JUST NOT AN OPTION.
I don't know why this is even on the table as an option for you. They are deadly for your peace of mind.
Have you considered applying for welfare? It won't be much, considering you're single with no kids, but it might be enough to pay your basic bills and I'm assuming you can medicaid as well. It would avoid the decision to have to move back to a toxic situation and moving back to "Dogsville" which you don't like. I know it could be a major blow to your ego, but there are times when you have to do whatever to survive. Also, once you move back to your hometown, it might be tough getting out of there again. Good luck. I hope a job offer lands on your lap next week and all of this is a bad dream.
If PA is like MO, there will be nothing but Food Stamps. Singles here do not get Medicaid or welfare checks, only those who have sprogged get such benefits.
Eddy - you need to see if there is any HPRP money left through the local community action agencies. We have some and the rep. here is still paying rents, deposits, utilities and helping folks file for jobs. It is always worth a shot and maybe, if those funds can keep you where you are for a month or two or three more, a job will come up. Thye also help with moving expenses, if you find a job someplace else!
I am so sorry you are having to do this and know what it is like to be single with no funds and no choices. I have been there. {{Eddy}}
I'm so sorry, Eddy. I know from the stories you've told in the past that this is definitely not your preference, in any way, shape, or form.
However, let me say this about the situation -- if Gma is still in her right mind, and you are so inclined, see if you can get guardianship over her. Then you can manage her finances to ensure no one takes advantage of her (and since in most states, Guardians can be paid, so you will have peace of mind on that score).
A question about the house -- it appears your father owns it, but does he live there? If not, then your g-ma has tenants' rights to the house, and that includes the right to keep other people out of the house -- and if you are her guardian, you can deny your father entry on her behalf. Also, as her guardian you could arrange time for him to visit his mother through someone else (much like bitterly divorcing spouses can have the kids picked up by a third party and delivered to the other parent for their visitation. In short, if you were her guardian, you would have more power and control over the situation, and so long as you approach both (her finances and her relationships) with love in your heart, it should be good for both of you.
Yes, that sucks!
I would explore PrairieGirl's suggestions, it's a possible way to get more control over your situation.
I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation and I hope you'll be able to find another solution soon.
I have no advice or suggestions to give. I think by now all of the bases have been covered.
I find myself possibly being in that situation in the near future. At where I work they are planning on some changes; and they are cutting back or consolidating. If it all goes through then I will either be out of a job or work in a cramped and miserable setting. If I lose my job, then I will feel like I will lose everything nice about my life right now.
For me, things are going along very well with the job and finances. But outside of the job, things are kind of crappy. And now just yesterday my sister (the one back in MA) called me and is putting on the pressure to move back; because there are all kinds of nice available women for me, says she. Of course, I can't call or write to them. I can only meet them by going there. This has happened before and she lined me up with some real winners {sarcasm}.
I feel exactly the same way about moving back east as you do about moving back to your father's (dickhead's) house with grandma. You are not alone in this because lots of people have to move in with their families to make ends meet. I hope for the best for you!
Eddy, please keep us posted. If I think of anything that might help you avoid moving back to the shit hole, I will let you know.
Jen
Oh Eddy this is awful news. I totally agree with Jo. I remember how toxic you described these people. You can't go back. Please don't go back. There have to be other options.
Believe me I am not happy about this at all. I'm trying to get something at all so I can stay here. I'm even looking at sales jobs and anyone who knows me knows I hate sales. I really don't want to live there and I'm honestly looking at small towns nearby that a little more accessible to jobs that that shithole of a dead town.
Great, well I for one will be keeping my fingers crossed that you find somewhere more affordable to live and some kind of job that will at least allow you to avoid going back to a life of hell. Surely anything has got to be better than that. There just has to be another, more viable option. Keep us posted
Hope you get a job soon! Perhaps to cut back on expenses you could look for a room to rent online?
I spoke to her the other night and she's definitely senile. She even admitted that she has Alzheimer's which amazed me. During the course of the conversation she mentioned how she'd really love for me to live in dickhead's house. She doesn't fucking get it.
The best part was when I asked what she was doing about them taking her dog and she asked me what dog? Holy gods. She is way beyond any help I can offer if she doesn't even remember her dog being stolen from her.
Oh, and if any of you knows a cheap place to live I'd love a PM. Not joking. Living with her isn't an option after that. I'd rather kill myself than dealing with that.