What's your definition of success?
Is it lots of money? A nice house? A new car? Lots of clothes? A great job/career?
Or is it more than that.
Is it spiritual serenity? A close family? Lots of friends? A great relationship with your SO (if you're married). Internal peace? Self acceptance?
Wow NKB you really ask the hard & deep questions don't you, lol
Well Websters Dictionary describes the word Success as the following.... degree or measure of succeeding b : favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence
Now of course I had to look up the word eminence to know that means .... 1 : a position of prominence or superiority
2 : one that is eminent, prominent, or lofty: as a : an anatomical protuberance (as on a bone) b : a person of high rank or attainments —often used as a title for a cardinal c : a natural elevation. So I learned something new today, lol.
As far as what success means to me. It means having stayed married to the same man for almost 25 years.
And actually managing to stay alive despite my many bouts of deep depression and anxiety and many thoughts of suicide.
So success for me is staying alive.
I can't wish for something that will never be.
The hope of winning the lottery and being completely out of debt is a pipe dream. I know that, & accept it.
So success is what you make of it.
I have not had much of it in my life.
I don't have a job, I don't have a title, hell I don't even have a car to call my own.
The only thing I do have is my marriage.
So, that is the only claim to fame I own.
A roof over my head - preferably paid for - clothing and transportation (most basics are fine), a job you enjoy going to every day and possibly a few close friendships.
(06-23-2010 06:18 PM)NKBurlington Wrote: [ -> ]What's your definition of success?
Is it lots of money? A nice house? A new car? Lots of clothes? A great job/career?
Or is it more than that.
Is it spiritual serenity? A close family? Lots of friends? A great relationship with your SO (if you're married). Internal peace? Self acceptance?
All of the above.
Success for me means the end of the journey, so I always envision success as things like having plenty of money, being thin(ner), and living debt free. Those are the ultimate goals.
All those other things you mentioned? -- I consider those various other kinds of successes, but since you're never done succeeding, I can't say I'm a SUCCESS. I am a very happy person -- I love my job(s), I earn enough to live decently (but not enough to live without some struggle, since I love to buy things and add to my collections!), I have plenty of free time off, I have a great guy and a great dog on this journey, and things like that. But since I consider success the end of the journey, I don't consider myself a success at all -- but I am successful (that is, full of various kinds of successes).
Did that make sense? I'm typing while hungry....
I usually set a few goals per year and try and achieve them. This year's were to learn conversational french (hasn't happened, probably won't), move out of my old house (check), move out of Hamilton (check) and get a new job (working on it). So I've succeeded at most of the things I have set out to do.
Previous goals have been to learn ballroom dancing (check), learn how to drive transport truck (check), get out of debt (working on it), visit all 50 states, 10 provinces and 3 territories (Currently at 48-9-2, I'll go ahead and call that a success), volunteer in New Orleans (check), run for parliament (three times, check)...
I still have to get published in MacLean's. LOL Did get published twice in the Globe and Mail, though.
This year's is to have a successful garden. I'm working on that.
My definition of success is about setting achievable goals and achieving them.
(06-23-2010 07:30 PM)Jo Wrote: [ -> ]I still have to get published in MacLean's. LOL
LOL
(06-23-2010 09:37 PM)Eddy Wrote: [ -> ]Happiness.
I agree. You can't really be a success if you're not happy.
Peace and quiet.
I do consider my life a success. I don't have lots of money; just enough. And I have, and will continue getting, lots of experiences. I have three healthy dogs and a healthy marriage. And I love teaching.
That's pretty much enough for me.
I think you are asking how we define it for ourselves, right? I don't try to define success for others. That said, I'd never interpret material possessions as a sign of success...
We used to live on a very nice street - populated by the well-to-do. It had to have been the unhappiest group of people I've ever known. One neighborhood mom of 7yo twin boys committed suicide by hanging herself from her dining room chandelier. Another family had a 20yo son who died of testicular cancer. His father told mine that "It was the only time that I couldn't solve a problem by throwing money at it." Another family had a violent divorce - the father drove his car through the closed garage door, among other things, to make a point. One of the women on the street got breast cancer. Her husband left her and she ended up refusing treatment and dying. So not really the happiest group of people.
Success for me is financial independence. I plan to achieve it in 17 years, possibly sooner. No more being beholden to anyone. I can see how that my sound like I'm equating success with material possessions, but not entirely - it's actually more the ability to live on a low income and be happy with what I have.
I've noticed that the people who often make the most money are often the most miserable. They feel that buying things and having designer labels makes them better but they are just working so they can buy stuff to impress others. It's very disturbing.
Success for me is probably best summed up as happiness, relating to the ability to achieve one's goals. Whether those be material or educational or social... it's all up to the individual.
For me it was always this crazy idea I had of being able to have a career doing something I loved and being respected and getting paid well for it. The joke's on me because I've never had that, although I've certainly tried for over 20 years.
(06-24-2010 05:24 PM)anastasia Wrote: [ -> ]For me it was always this crazy idea I had of being able to have a career doing something I loved and being respected and getting paid well for it. The joke's on me because I've never had that, although I've certainly tried for over 20 years.
Ha! Me too.
HA! I have had, at various times, and at various jobs -- two of the three. Never three of three. I'm usually lacking respect or paychque. LOL I still consider myself successful, though, as I try not to define my success by what other people think of me. The Leo's downfall. LOL
(06-24-2010 06:27 PM)Jo Wrote: [ -> ]HA! I have had, at various times, and at various jobs -- two of the three. Never three of three. I'm usually lacking respect or paychque. LOL I still consider myself successful, though, as I try not to define my success by what other people think of me. The Leo's downfall. LOL
If I think about it, I believe it has to do with how I was raised. My mother was disabled and single, she raised me on food stamps and social security in a horrible dump of a rented apartment (one side of a duplex), in a very trashy crime-ridden neighborhood. She worked when I was very young, but when I started grade school she stopped working when she started having more debilitating symptoms as a result of post-polio syndrome. We never had money for much of anything and it was scary just being at home because of the crime. I never did anything during summer breaks from school and I never got to travel or see things or experience stuff. A big day was going to the mall.
And as for the trashy neighborhood, friends were literally shocked when I showed them where I lived. The woman on the other side of our duplex was a crack dealer, yes, really. My best friend, a guy, would leave before dark because he was too scared to stay and didn't mind admitting it. My husband couldn't believe his eyes when I drove him down the street to my childhood home several years ago when we were visiting relatives and I was showing him around.
So I guess that's why my idea of having a real career that paid me well enough so I wouldn't ever have to live like that again is my idea of success. I literally fear having to go back to that life again, it's with me all the time.
Quote:anastasia Wrote:
For me it was always this crazy idea I had of being able to have a career doing something I loved and being respected and getting paid well for it. The joke's on me because I've never had that, although I've certainly tried for over 20 years.
Ha! Me too.
Me three!
My answer is that we are all successful - in different ways. We just have to be very thankful for what we have; because there are many that would want what we have going.
The mistake many make in feeling that they are not a success is that they dwell on what they don't have in life. I feel like in life we all have "thorns in the flesh". I know that I make the mistake dwelling on the "thorns" in my life instead of dwelling on the good things that I do have.
There are people that have told me that they wished that they have what I have. I get blown away when I hear that. But it's nice to hear.
Yet, it seems like these people have things going for them that I wish I had.
It is a bit about money for me. Not rich, but having no debt. Knowing that if I have a car problem and need $250 for repairs, I can pay it without even thinking about how. I recently had a $300 vet bill; I can make it work. But, I'd rather have enough money to live comfortably, to where when these issues came up, it would not be a big deal. It would be just like another bill that I pay without batting an eyelash, instead of having to cancel my hair cut appointment and buy less groceries to cover the extra expense.
But of course doing a job I love. Like others said; doing a job I love and getting enough money for it, to live decently.
For me I guess success would mean doing something that makes a difference in the world. Not being the same mundane person in suburbia with 2.3 kids. I'm already successful because I got out of my lame hometown and didn't pump out babies with the first loser that came along.
A good marriage was always on that list for me as well.