06-13-2010, 04:03 PM
Carolyn Hax: Would-be mom's anxiety clouds decision to have kids
By Carolyn Hax
Monday, June 7, 2010
Adapted from a recent online discussion:
Dear Carolyn:
I'm 34 and have bad anxiety issues that I control (barely) with medications. My husband and I would like to have two kids; we planned on waiting till my anxiety was under control, but I'm starting to suspect that will never really happen. Would it be absolutely indefensible to go ahead with getting pregnant anyway?
Washington
You know how you are when your anxiety gets the better of you, and you know how often that happens. You also know how available others would be to "cover" for you during a bad spell.
And you know what it's like to be a kid, and what it's like to have parents.
So: Would you like to have a parent who behaves the way you do?
No parent is going to be a bargain 100 percent of the time; all are human, and that humanity is going to be on display for the kids (probably even more than it is for others).
But wanting kids isn't a good enough reason to have them. You also have a responsibility to think hard about the life you'd give them, and try to predict whether that life will be a means to a healthy adulthood, or an obstacle to one. Any potential parent has this responsibility, not just anxious ones. You make your most responsible guess, act on it, and own that choice ever after.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/con...tml?sub=AR
By Carolyn Hax
Monday, June 7, 2010
Adapted from a recent online discussion:
Dear Carolyn:
I'm 34 and have bad anxiety issues that I control (barely) with medications. My husband and I would like to have two kids; we planned on waiting till my anxiety was under control, but I'm starting to suspect that will never really happen. Would it be absolutely indefensible to go ahead with getting pregnant anyway?
Washington
You know how you are when your anxiety gets the better of you, and you know how often that happens. You also know how available others would be to "cover" for you during a bad spell.
And you know what it's like to be a kid, and what it's like to have parents.
So: Would you like to have a parent who behaves the way you do?
No parent is going to be a bargain 100 percent of the time; all are human, and that humanity is going to be on display for the kids (probably even more than it is for others).
But wanting kids isn't a good enough reason to have them. You also have a responsibility to think hard about the life you'd give them, and try to predict whether that life will be a means to a healthy adulthood, or an obstacle to one. Any potential parent has this responsibility, not just anxious ones. You make your most responsible guess, act on it, and own that choice ever after.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/con...tml?sub=AR