I've wondered what impact, if any, the threat of struggling to achieve work-life balance has had on your decision to remain childfree?
It might not be 'the' reason why you chose to be childfree, but I figured for most of us it was just one of many reasons that we decided not to have children. Am I wrong? What are your thoughts?
we do things that i just didnt want to expose a kid to. id rather continue our ways rather than give up the thinge we enjoy for a kid.
kids are not worth all sacrifices.
I put 'not sure' because my workplace is very flexible and if I had children then I wouldn't have a problem balancing the two.
That said, I have chosen to travel a lot with work, so with my current specialty I would have a lot of problems balancing work and children. I could choose to travel less, but I enjoy it too much!
Nope. I couldn't care less about work. It's a paycheque. Nothing more. Nothing less. Having a kid would not have impacted that at all.
It sure seems to have impacted a lot of my co-irkers, however as they tend to leave at all hours of the day with kid related issues from a forgotten lunch to a Dr.s appointment.
I chose yes. Years ag0, I realized that I didn't want to have kids because of the lifestyle involved: you work all day, then you fight with the kids so they do their lessons while you cook dinner; after dinner, you have to drive the kids around for their activities, you sit around while they play soccer, take dance lessons, whatever. You get an even worst version of that on the weekends, between activities, lessons, birthday parties, etc. I didn't want to spend my days at work working for someone else and then spend my weeknights and weekends working for my kids. This lifestyle would drive me nuts and hello burnout and depression.
I said "yes", but it's more complicated than that. If you think of work-life balance as EVERYTHING, then yeah, I didn't want to take time out of the things I do to take care of a child. Also, my DH flat-out told me all the duties would fall to me, and while I didn't really think too much about "balancing" all of that, I just knew I didn't want to change diapers, at all!
I voted "I'm not sure" because I never wanted children simply because I don't like them, from an early age. As a child, that was all I thought about. But as I grew up, I could see there was no real hope for a serious career and any semblance of a quiet, normal life if I had them. But by then the decision had already been made.
Litchie and PG - I can totally see where you're coming from. From your POV, then yes, I would have changed my vote to yes.
Having said that, work/life balance includes more than children and this is what chaps my ass about the workplace. Everyone has personal issues that they need to deal with. Allowing one segment of the working population to take time off for personal issues and not another, based solely on whether or not they have children, is discriminatory.
I will pat myself on the back for this one. One company I worked for had a policy that would allow parents - and only parents - to have two extra days off per year for "family" issues. No questions asked. If you were a parent, all you had to do was say you had to junior to the doctor or dentist or whatever and you could fuck off for a day or 1/2 a day.
During a meeting I spoke up and said that this was unfair. The policy was as old as the company and I guess it was just never changed or challenged. This did not only impact me but other employees who had full grown children and didn't need to take time off.
The policy was changed to include ALL employees - not just those with children.
Sometimes it pays to speak up
Wow great outcome NK! it's so true though, just because you have kids doesn't mean you're the only worker who has work-life balance issues. Many childfree workers have other caring responsibilities eg. parents, other family members, pets but they don't seem to get the same priority as kids. Not to mention those who are studying in conjunction with work commitments.
For me, work-life balance was a contributing factor to my decision but by no means the only reason. I just don't think it's possible to do do it all. Decisions have to made as to what you are going to focus on - career or motherhood. I'm not sure it's possible to do both well (not at the same time anyway!).
I'm amazed that they changed the policy but pleased at the result.
Great work, NKB!
I voted no because I could have had no work/life balance if I'd had a kid. I was seriously involved with a guy who made plenty of $ and wanted me to stay home and raise kids. Since I loathe working it was even a bit tempting, I can't deny it. In the end reason won out and that's how I found this board - coming out of that relationship realizing that I really am CF hardcore. If I was willing to walk away from a meal ticket and not working again for the price of even one kid I had to have been pretty serious.
Work sucks - I have no interest in spending any more minutes there than absolutely necessary.
Voted yes. Wouldn't want the quality of the services I provide to clients to be impacted by being exhausted by having to care for kids, or I had to schedule appointments and then cancel them because junior was sick. That said I also just enjoy coming home and spending time with DH.
I chose no because I chose to be CF long before I entered into the world force as an adult
I voted no because I knew I never wanted kids when I was a teenager and not even working.
(06-14-2010 12:43 PM)Eddy Wrote: [ -> ]I voted no because I knew I never wanted kids when I was a teenager and not even working.
Same here for me exactly!
I chose yes, though it was certainly not the only reason. I deal with people all day long. I can't even imagine having to come home at night to a screaming, whining kid. Um, no thanks!
(06-13-2010 09:42 PM)catsnotkids Wrote: [ -> ]I voted no because I could have had no work/life balance if I'd had a kid. I was seriously involved with a guy who made plenty of $ and wanted me to stay home and raise kids. Since I loathe working it was even a bit tempting, I can't deny it. In the end reason won out and that's how I found this board - coming out of that relationship realizing that I really am CF hardcore. If I was willing to walk away from a meal ticket and not working again for the price of even one kid I had to have been pretty serious.
That's an interesting point you make, I recently discovered that some women actually chose to have kids just to escape their jobs! (ie. if their job didn't suck or if they could think of another way to escape work for a few years they would pick that over children). What a reason to bring a child into the world. And we are called selfish?!!!
I'm so glad things worked out and you were able to get out of that relationship and be true to your own values.
We all know how much I hate working but at least with working you:
1. Get paid.
2. Can quit.
3. Go home.
Thanks, cloudberry. I still remember my mother saying to me, "Would it really be that terrible to have one child?" I guess the answer was yes!