We Kid You Not Childfree Forums

http://www.wowowow.com/life/dear-margo-w...ure-478093


Mouth Going, Brain Not in Gear

Dear Margo: I am a happily married woman in my late 30s who, for several reasons, doesn’t have children. I work with the public on a daily basis and am invariably asked how many children I have. The question doesn’t bother me. I understand the majority of women my age have families, and the question is just a quest for commonality. What bothers me is that when I reply, "None," many people ask, "Why?" I smile and give a noncommittal answer, like, "Oh, it’s just that way." The truth is a little more complicated and private. When they persist (and many do), I try to change the subject.

What bothers me is the implication that I am a defective woman. People tell me how wonderful it is having children, that I am getting too old to put it off, and that I should have a family, etc. Given that I rely on good word of mouth and positive interactions to stay in business, what would you recommend? — Annoyed

Dear An: I’ve had countless letters like yours and still cannot get over the lack of sense and sensitivity on the part of some people. It’s too bad that because of business considerations you can’t let them know they’ve crossed the line of propriety, if not good taste. (Were this not the case, I would be all in favor of saying something totally weird, like, "I am a hermaphrodite, and it would be difficult.") But because you feel unable to be snarky in the interest of "positive interactions," perhaps close the clods down with, "I have a rare blood condition," or, to leave them less shocked, say, "We could discuss it when we know each other better." — Margo, appropriately

I like those! I just don't get why sometimes these columnists seem to contradict their own previous advice. Their answers range from "Bugger off!" to "They're right! You SHOULD reproduce immediately!"

Quote:I am a hermaphrodite, and it would be difficult.

ROFL! I love it!

I get the most tired of "There's still hope" and "You still could" and "You still might change your mind".

I think a good come-back to the "You still might change your mind" bullshit is something along the line of "Yes, I have that option, but you don't. You ran out of options to change your mind when you had kids".

(06-11-2010 01:39 PM)Dog Holliday Wrote: [ -> ]I think a good come-back to the "You still might change your mind" bullshit is something along the line of "Yes, I have that option, but you don't. You ran out of options to change your mind when you had kids".

Excellent, Dog! I almost wish I were young enough to use it. I'll see if I can teach it to someone else.

"Well, I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world with the way it is. You know, with horrifically rude people asking total strangers deeply personal questions because they feel entitled to judge everyone whose views and lifestyles are different than their own."

Dog and Nadleeh have the best responses EVER! LOL!

Jen M.

(06-17-2010 02:49 PM)Nadleeh Wrote: [ -> ]"Well, I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world with the way it is. You know, with horrifically rude people asking total strangers deeply personal questions because they feel entitled to judge everyone whose views and lifestyles are different than their own."

I told an especially nosey woman that I couldn't have children. She still pushed it and asked, "why not?" So I told her that I had myself neutered and it was irreversible. Her jaw dropped and she said that she hadn't actually expected me to answer. Then why the hell did she ask the question in the first place?

Wow. Maybe you should have said that. LOL!
Jen M.