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Are there dangers in being 'spiritual but not religious'?
By John Blake, CNN
June 4, 2010 1:28 p.m. EDT

CNN) -- "I'm spiritual but not religious."

It's a trendy phrase people often use to describe their belief that they don't need organized religion to live a life of faith.

But for Jesuit priest James Martin, the phrase also hints at something else: egotism.

"Being spiritual but not religious can lead to complacency and self-centeredness," says Martin, an editor at America, a national Catholic magazine based in New York City. "If it's just you and God in your room, and a religious community makes no demands on you, why help the poor?"

Religious debates erupt over everything from doctrine to fashion. Martin has jumped into a running debate over the "I'm spiritual but not religious" phrase.

The "I'm spiritual but not religious" community is growing so much that one pastor compared it to a movement. In a 2009 survey by the research firm LifeWay Christian Resources, 72 percent of millennials (18- to 29-year-olds) said they're "more spiritual than religious." The phrase is now so commonplace that it's spawned its own acronym ("I'm SBNR") and Facebook page: SBNR.org.

But what exactly does being "spiritual but not religious" mean, and could there be hidden dangers in living such a life?

Did you choose "Burger King Spirituality"?

Heather Cariou, a New York City-based author who calls herself spiritual instead of religious, doesn't think so. She's adopted a spirituality that blends Buddhism, Judaism and other beliefs.

"I don't need to define myself to any community by putting myself in a box labeled Baptist, or Catholic, or Muslim," she says. "When I die, I believe all my accounting will be done to God, and that when I enter the eternal realm, I will not walk though a door with a label on it."

BJ Gallagher, a Huffington Post blogger who writes about spirituality, says she's SBNR because organized religion inevitably degenerates into tussles over power, ego and money.

Gallagher tells a parable to illustrate her point:

"God and the devil were walking down a path one day when God spotted something sparkling by the side of the path. He picked it up and held it in the palm of his hand.

"Ah, Truth," he said.

"Here, give it to me," the devil said. "I'll organize it."

Gallagher says there's nothing wrong with people blending insights from different faith traditions to create what she calls a "Burger King Spirituality -- have it your way."

She disputes the notion that spiritual people shun being accountable to a community.

"Twelve-step people have a brilliant spiritual community that avoids all the pitfalls of organized religion," says Gallagher, author of "The Best Way Out is Always Through."

"Each recovering addict has a 'god of our own understanding,' and there are no priests or intermediaries between you and your god. It's a spiritual community that works.''

Nazli Ekim, who works in public relations in New York City, says calling herself spiritual instead of religious is her way of taking responsibility for herself.

Ekim was born in a Muslim family and raised in Istanbul, Turkey. She prayed to Allah every night, until she was 13 and had to take religion classes in high school.Then one day, she says she had to take charge of her own beliefs.

"I had this revelation that I bow to no one, and I've been spiritually a much happier person," says Ekim, who describers herself now as a Taoist, a religious practice from ancient China that emphasizes the unity of humanity and the universe.

"I make my own mistakes and take responsibility for them. I've lied, cheated, hurt people -- sometimes on purpose. Did I ever think I will burn in hell for all eternity? I didn't. Did I feel bad and made up for my mistakes? I certainly did, but not out of fear of God."

Going on a spiritual walkabout

The debate over being spiritual rather than religious is not just about semantics. It's about survival.

Numerous surveys show the number of Americans who do not identify themselves as religious has been increasing and likely will continue to grow.

A 2008 survey conducted by Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut, dubbed these Americans who don't identify with any religion as "Nones."

Seminaries, churches, mosques and other institutions will struggle for survival if they don't somehow convince future generations that being religious isn't so bad after all, religion scholars warn.

Jennifer Walters, dean of religious life at Smith College in Massachusetts, says there's a lot of good in old-time religion.

Religious communities excel at caring for members in difficult times, encouraging members to serve others and teaching religious practices that have been tested and wrestled with for centuries, Walters says.

"Hymn-singing, forms of prayer and worship, teachings about social justice and forgiveness -- all these things are valuable elements of religious wisdom," Walters says. "Piecing it together by yourself can be done, but with great difficulty."

Being a spiritual Lone Ranger fits the tenor of our times, says June-Ann Greeley, a theology and philosophy professor.

"Religion demands that we accord to human existence some absolutes and eternal truths, and in a post-modern culture, that becomes all but impossible," says Greeley, who teaches at Sacred Heart University in Connecticut.

It's much easier for "spiritual" people to go on "spiritual walkabouts," Greeley says.

"People seem not to have the time nor the energy or interest to delve deeply into any one faith or religious tradition," Greeley says. "So they move through, collecting ideas and practices and tenets that most appeal to the self, but making no connections to groups or communities."

Being spiritual instead of religious may sound sophisticated, but the choice may ultimately come down to pettiness, says Martin, the Jesuit priest, who writes about the phrase in his book, "The Jesuit Guide to (Almost Everything)."

"Religion is hard," he says. "Sometimes it's just too much work. People don't feel like it. I have better things to do with my time. It's plain old laziness."

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/...tml?hpt=C1

PrairieGirl

Quote:"Religion is hard," he says. "Sometimes it's just too much work. People don't feel like it. I have better things to do with my time. It's plain old laziness."

Which is exactly why so many of us have moved away from traditional religions. What he wants from religion is community hoop-jumping -- believe this, perform this ritual, say these words and these words only, pray this way, pray at this time of day or at this point in your life. You betcha that's hard -- it's hard to figure out why that all matters.

Quote:"If it's just you and God in your room, and a religious community makes no demands on you, why help the poor?"

Non sequitur. For one thing, the Bible explicitly tells you it's just supposed to be you and God in the room -- Matthew 6:5-6 -- "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."

For another thing, personal spirituality tends to deepen one's connections to others, in the sense that it's easier to realize we are all alike -- we all seek insight, we all seek friendship/love/relationships, we all seek truth and knowledge. What organized religions does, however, is expose and exploit differences -- our way is the only right way, the others do it wrong, say it wrong, believe it wrong, etc.
Seems like part of the trend is that religion has a pretty negative connotation in some respects. Often religion is though of as a mindless 'to do' list with arbitrary rules and traditions that seem completely irrelevant or useless, or with practically organized crime with the scandals that seem to be running rampant.
I think people see the evil and hypocritical aspects of organized religion that are publicized and this is what sticks in people's minds more than any positive aspects of it. It's hard to justify the teachings of the church when people hear about religious wars going on in the world and people are being murdered because of differences of religious beliefs and have been going on throughout history and the view that there are people who believe that murder in the name of religion is justified.

Also, most people are not buying into the mind-set that a preacher's sermon and views are directives from God-like getting a fax or e-mail from God-and anyone who disagrees are destined to hell. There are a lot of "hot" topics that stir up strong emotions and will also dirve people away from religious institutes when views differ-abortion, birth control, death penalty, supporting war, for example.

That leaves a lot of people who believe in the after-life, heaven, or whatever life form there is after death, but don't feel it's necessary to go to church to get a license to get there, which is where spirituality comes into play.
Interesting article.

I honestly wonder if a major part of why younger people is because traditional religion really is a pain in the ass. I remember going to church and Sunday school in my teenage years and I truly resented having to dress up in uncomfortable clothes and wake up on my day off and have to sit in a hot building listening to a bunch of hypocritical adults lecture me about how to act when they themselves broke their own rules.

The irony in my abandonment of Christianity is that my parents sent to a boarding school for my junior and senior year in high school and a requirement was taking two religion courses. After seeing other religions in a historical perspective it opened my eyes. Eastern religions in particular were very interesting to me and seemed to fit my personality a lot more than the Methodism I was raised with which just seemed pretty lazy. It was more about looking a certain way and giving money than actually doing anything to help people who needed it.

Today I call myself a pagan but it's really a poor adjective for my belief system. I don't worship nature or go celebrating the solstice but at the same time I really think we need to be looking at nature a lot more and trying to be a little less destructive.

Spiritual but not religious is a good trend in my view. Maybe if people had their own beliefs instead of things foisted on them that are nonsensical hypocrisy we'd have a better society.
PG wrote: "What he wants from religion is community hoop-jumping -- believe this, perform this ritual, say these words and these words only, pray this way, pray at this time of day or at this point in your life."
Agreed, and I also feel that laziness is one of many reasons that people don't like the rituals involved - you lose touch with the real purpose behind it. I once spoke with a guy who was very religious (we don't see them very often where I live, this was on a flight to the US) and he kept arguing that we had to have organised religion otherwise the world would fall apart into anarchy because why would people ever help each other if it wasn't because they wanted to get into heaven?! I was kind of blown away by that on some level as I was thinking "So, the only reason that you're nice to people is because you want to go to heaven, and not because you're inherently a nice person?" My reply reflected that thought - and he didn't seem to pleased. I don't think that he was very happy with me by the end of our trip.

Many of my friends would describe themselves this way (well, except for those who are strongly atheist). They have participated in several religions but have found the hypocracy to be too much.

DogHolliday: I had the opportunity to spend time with a padre in the military (he was part of our large group - you can't really exclude anyone and he was a really nice guy to chat with). I appreciated his mind and point of view even more when one day he said "With all the fighting that has gone on in the name of religion over the years, it almost makes you wish that you could get rid of all of them".
What about the organized religions that say you get the fast track to heaven if you kill infidels? I think people are dissillusioned with organized religion because you can't turn on the news without hearing about some abuse like priests diddling boys or missionaries going to Haiti to try to steal some "orphans" from their parents for the sex trade.

I think religions are organized for the sole purpose to get donations and to recruit more people so they can get even more donations. How's the money going to get in the donation basket if people aren't at the church?

I guess I fall into the spiritual but not religious category. I was raised catholic, but could never figure out why I had to confess my sins through a priest to God. What? God won't forgive me if I ask him directly?
I heard on the radio an interview with the author of Good Without God. I like that title.
(06-09-2010 12:38 PM)mark1030 Wrote: [ -> ]I was raised catholic, but could never figure out why I had to confess my sins through a priest to God. What? God won't forgive me if I ask him directly?

LOL. Good point-why not cut out the middle man?. I never understood that either. Are claustrophobic people exempt from sitting in an area the size of a telephone booth confessing their sins? With modern electronics now, Catholics should be able to e-mail or text message their sins to the priest and have the priest e-mail or text them forgiveness.

What I'd like to see is a Catholic woman going to confession and saying her "sin" is getting an abortion recently when she found out she was pregnant, but it won't happen again because she's taking birth control and is considering getting her tubes tied so that there's no chance of ever having kids.
I was also confused by the idea of confession and also the idea of praying to saints. I mean, it sounded like an instance of bad customer service-hmm no I don't have the authority to do that, wanna speak to the manager?
Why would you need a saint or priest to intervene on your behalf to a benevolent and all-powerful God? If he truly cared for his followers, you'd think he'd be happy to hear from them directly.
I honestly have to say this is me. I have developed a blended faith that takes the best parts from several religions. Organized religions are just an excuse to be mean to people who are different. If you are truly one with nature and your concept of deity, you will automatically be a good person, and if you aren't you'll feel bad about it. I don't need some creep in a funny frock to kick my ass. I can kick it myself.
People like him don't like more "nebulous" or mixed spirituality, for the simple fact that it means the practitioners are self-aware and perfectly capable of controlling and steering their own affairs, thankyouverymuch. It all comes down (or back) to the fear by the Orthodox of those they cannot control.

Suck it, dude!

Jen M.
(by "Orthodox," I meant people like this guy, who are so entrenched in traditional religion. I was not picking on a particular faith.)

I'm Wiccan, and I consider myself to be devout; however, "Wicca" is simply the language I speak. My actual spirituality/connection to Deity is huge and expansive and not easily defined. I can find G*d in my garden or in the car. It is always present, and It is within me.

People just like this guy just don't like things or people they don't understand or can't control. Sucks to be them.
Jen M.
I consider myself to be very spiritual... People like me are a threat to organised religions because we cannot be "brainwashed" by their fairytales... I would never trust anybody who claims to know the truth but I would ceartinally trust one who seeks it. This is a very interesting thread.
(06-28-2010 06:43 AM)Freespirit Wrote: [ -> ]I consider myself to be very spiritual... People like me are a threat to organised religions because we cannot be "brainwashed" by their fairytales... I would never trust anybody who claims to know the truth but I would ceartinally trust one who seeks it. This is a very interesting thread.

Great post. I feel the same way as you.
(06-28-2010 09:40 AM)Litchie Wrote: [ -> ]
(06-28-2010 06:43 AM)Freespirit Wrote: [ -> ]I consider myself to be very spiritual... People like me are a threat to organised religions because we cannot be "brainwashed" by their fairytales... I would never trust anybody who claims to know the truth but I would ceartinally trust one who seeks it. This is a very interesting thread.

Great post. I feel the same way as you.

Thank you Litchie its nice to speak to like minded people.
Welcome, Freespirit. Smile

Jen M.
I used to be more 'spiritual', but lately I've been going back to organized religious services and they have been a great comfort to me. That worked FOR ME.. that doesn't mean it works for everyone.

To me, that's the key: Each to their own, no judgment... but that should go both ways Smile
Kitties, I agree with you. We all have our own path to walk in life. Smile

Jen M.
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