(05-08-2010 02:58 AM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]As Ziggy says, in Europe, people drink socially because the point is TO socialize, not to drink. It is very rare to see anyone drunk on the Continent, not counting soccer fans.
It depends on what country, of course. As you know the British and Irish tend not to drink socially, they drink specifically to get as drunk as possible. I lived in London and my first husband, the alcoholic, was a Brit. They think it's really cute to see full grown adults in business attire vomiting in the streets of London at lunchtime on Fridays, and telling stories about regularly getting drunk and peeing on furniture is seen as very positive and something to celebrate.
As for the Continent, the Germans, Norwegians, Swedes and all of the Eastern Europeans are pretty much along the lines of the British and Irish. I have German friends tell me quite a bit about their drinking habits, i.e. get as drunk as possible as often as you can. And as for the Swedes, well, their drinking is so notorious, IKEA made an ad about it making fun of it. Big drunk blonde Swedes rolling around in barnyards. Pretty funny. And pathetic, too. I also know a few Russians and one Ukrainian, it's the same with them.
But when it comes to the French, Spanish, Italian and several others, they seem to take drinking in stride, socializing more than focusing on contests involving who can vomit more.
I can't say my attitudes about drinking come from drunken parents or exes. My father is Puerto Rican, and it's very "unmanly" to drink to excess and be a staggering, loud-laughing, belligerent fool. I may have picked up some of that because people who drink to excess don't amuse me -- I consider it a sign of a lack of character to drink for the purpose of turning oneself into an idiot.
That may be why I view functions which exist SOLELY for the purpose of alcohol consumption to be unworthy of my time. Even if people don't get drunk, the fact that a catalyst for foolish behavior is the fire everyone dances naked around is ridiculous, and potentially harmful.
Alcohol as an addition to a party is one thing -- alcohol as the focus of the party is something else entirely.
I couldn't tell you the last time I was drunk. I don't let myself get that far. I like to be in control of my own actions.
I hate being around drunk people. When you're sober and everyone else is drunk, you can really see how alcohol affects your judgement. People are foolish when they are drunk.
I don't understand why people want to get together and get drunk. I don't like being around drunk people. The are loud, obnoxious, and say dumb things. I believe that if you want to get drunk (though I don't encourage that personally) just stay home and be alone. Watch a movie if you can. I guess that's why I don't like going to parties.
I have a couple of glasses of wine each day. I do it at home alone. I rarely drink around other people and I never drink when I go out somewhere. I am passionately angry when I know or hear of someone getting drunk and driving. Anyone that wants to go out to drink and drive, I will come after you!
There had been some problems with drinking at my home. My two brothers had a problem with it. My father probably would have had a bad problem with it if it were not for my mother. I've heard that alcolholism can be inherited
(05-08-2010 03:35 AM)anastasia Wrote: [ -> ] (05-08-2010 02:58 AM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]As Ziggy says, in Europe, people drink socially because the point is TO socialize, not to drink. It is very rare to see anyone drunk on the Continent, not counting soccer fans.
It depends on what country, of course. As you know the British and Irish tend not to drink socially, they drink specifically to get as drunk as possible. I lived in London and my first husband, the alcoholic, was a Brit. They think it's really cute to see full grown adults in business attire vomiting in the streets of London at lunchtime on Fridays, and telling stories about regularly getting drunk and peeing on furniture is seen as very positive and something to celebrate.
As for the Continent, the Germans, Norwegians, Swedes and all of the Eastern Europeans are pretty much along the lines of the British and Irish. I have German friends tell me quite a bit about their drinking habits, i.e. get as drunk as possible as often as you can. And as for the Swedes, well, their drinking is so notorious, IKEA made an ad about it making fun of it. Big drunk blonde Swedes rolling around in barnyards. Pretty funny. And pathetic, too. I also know a few Russians and one Ukrainian, it's the same with them.
But when it comes to the French, Spanish, Italian and several others, they seem to take drinking in stride, socializing more than focusing on contests involving who can vomit more.
Sounds like a Mediterranean vs Northern thing, although I seldom (not never) saw drunk Germans, either, and I lived there.
It may also be a class thing in the northern countries. But since we (in the US) inherited most of our DNA and culture from northern Europe, it almost makes sense in a sad way.
We have childfree friends who are the drinking type and sometimes, I feel like they find us boring because we don't drink much and would rather hang out with their other friends who they get drunk with regularly. It seems to come and go, though. There's going to be trouble in paradise soon because their drinking friends are soon going to start breeding.
(05-07-2010 01:42 PM)dune67 Wrote: [ -> ]I'm kind of like Jo. Because I grew up in an addictive household, I am uncomfortable around drunk people. I will have a little wine on Shabbat and the occasional drink (maybe 3-4 times a year), but I don't like to drink to the point where I feel like I'm losing control. Most of the time in social situations, I don't drink. I don't make a big show of it or say anything to others who do because it's their choice and my friends generally don't get drunk when they do drink. But it surprises me that people who drink often feel uncomfortable if everyone around them is not also drinking. I actually had a close friend tell me his partner feels awkward around DH and me because "you don't drink" (which is not true, but DH is fanatical about not having even one drink if he's going to be driving at all within the next few hours). I have also had people ask me three or four times if I'm "sure" I don't want a drink.
Like many of you I also grew up in an alcoholic family. Sure, I'll have a 'social' drink every now and then just to fit in but increasingly I'm resenting feeling like I have to drink to fit in.
I also really hate it when you are at someone's house who's drinking and they constantly ask "Are you sure you don't want a drink?" That's what makes things awkward. If they'd just accept that you don't want a drink then maybe you could relax and have a good time. Imagine if someone comes to your house who doesn't like a certain food and you constantly kept asking them "Are you sure you don't want anchovies? we have plenty, I can get you some." Ten minutes later: "Awwh c'mon, are you sure you won't have some anchovies with me, I'm having some more" LOL
I've also heard that behind our back's family members have said that they don't like to socialize with us because we don't drink. In the end I decided that it's best to move on and stop worrying about what they think. We broke off all contact with them a few years ago.
Finding friends who don't drink or who drink but are happy to accept you as a non-drinker is also difficult. Because of this, the 'friends' we have tend to be acquaintances rather than close friends. It seems that many people don't get close with you unless they have booze to break down the barriers which is sad.
I usually would feel sick to my stomach when I drank in the past so these days I don't drink. Maybe a wedding or special occasion, but that's about it. My husband has alcoholism in his family and he does not drink. I think I'm pretty fortunate about that because before we were married, I had a boyfriend who was a total alcoholic.
I think there's probably more drinking going on these days due to the current world situation, i.e. economics, war, etc. I think people seem to be more stressed out. I don't have a problem if someone wants to drink, I just don't care to be around someone who's had too much though.
I don't drink at all, and I don't like being around people who are drinking. They always try to pressure you to drink too (maybe they realize their behavior is stupid and they will feel less stupid if you are doing it too). And trying to talk to a drunk person is like trying to talk to a toddler. Which I also avoid.
Paloma, I once had a friend who said, "Nothing looks stupider to a drunk than a sober person, and nothing looks stupider than a drunk to a sober person."
Quote: I don't like being around drunk people. The are loud, obnoxious, and say dumb things.
I must be the exception to that rule Tommy
Cause when I get toasted, I am anything but loud or obnoxious.
I am usually giggly & silly and or I pass out when I know I am in a comfortable place. NO I have never fallen flat out passing out.
I will find a soft place to sit down on, and fall asleep on that. In either a car, sofa, chair, or my own bed. But never ever have I passed out in some indiscreet manner.
And, I am always very fun to be with, when I have had a few too many, just ask my niece, lol.
But I do understand why you would think what you said. I just wanted to let you know there are exceptions to that rule
Yesterday, I was a tad hung over from the night before. I didn't really have that much to drink but I guess it just didn't sit well with me. We were at a friend's place for a BBQ and I guess the combination of sun and booze got to me more than I thought.
Anyway, we had some friends over for a BBQ and I said to my husband once D&F see that I'm drinking club soda rather than wine, I'll never hear the end of it. Well, sure enough, they weren't here one minute and D made some comment - somewhat jokingly, but I knew he would - about me not drinking and they were not going to stay if I wasn't drinking. I knew one of them would say something like that. I know he was just fooling around, but still.
Then, he takes my glass of club soda and empties it into the garden and says something like "Now don't be such a girl and go in there and get some wine". I'm like, what just happened? Did you really just take my glass of club soda and throw it into the grass? Nice. He would not leave me alone.
I said to DH that if we didn't drink at all, I bet they wouldn't even want to hang around with us. I mean, I like my wine. There is no denying that and anyone that knows me knows this . If for whatever reason, I don't feel like drinking wine, I don't. It's not like I HAVE to drink it but I do enjoy it.
I just thought it was very rude and unnecessary for him to toss my club soda away.
Good grief NKB, that's awful! I can't imagine someone reacting that way, especially over what you're drinking. Makes you wonder if it's that important to him... I don't always feel like drinking certain things (sometimes I don't feel like juice or pop, sometimes I don't want to drink wine or beer) and if someone was criticizing me for it... I'd tell them to piss off. It's like taking someone's vegetarian pizza and throwing it in the garbage and telling them to go get a slice of meat-lovers. How rude!
Holy crap, NKB. That's not a friend! That's rude and disrespectful as shit. If someone did that to me, in my own home no less, he would have caught no end of hell. No one should care if you want to have a glass of wine or water or juice or whatever, no one should ever care about that.
I know he was only goofing around but still, you're right Anastasia. To do that to me at my home is very disrespectful and rude.
NKB - that's nuts!
To answer the original question - we drink from time to time - in moderation. J. sometimes has a glass of beer or wine after a long day at work. I'm less likely to do that, but I'm more likely to have a few at a get together. I haven't gotten falling-down-drunk since I was in college - my maximum drinks for any evening is generally four. Even at three I'm feeling it. More than that and it's a bit much.
I suppose it's true that our friends tend to drink about the same way that we do. I found that with smoking pot, too. Back when I smoked pot (going on 20 years ago!) all of my friends did, too. Now I don't think any of my friends do!
(05-24-2010 11:59 AM)NKBurlington Wrote: [ -> ]I just thought it was very rude and unnecessary for him to toss my club soda away.
My comment upon reading this was "WHOA!" because that is totally unacceptable. Doing that at any event is wrong, but when it's the hostess at her own home is so over the line that diplomacy doesn't even begin to address this.
WOW NKB!! I shouldn't be surprised but I am. That is how drinking culture works... it operates on the presumption that we all know the rules and we all have to get drunk and sick and stupid... you can't bow out, you are not allowed. It breaks the unspoken rules. Ugh.
Could you imagine if your boss did that to you at work? Grabbed, say, your coffee out of your hand, dumped it in a nearby planter and said "Don't be such a girl... we're drinking tea here today!" WTF????????
I know. I still can't believe he did it. Maybe they drink more than I thought they did. I thought they were social drinkers but maybe they're beyond that. I don't know.
I'm starting to re-evaluate our friendship...
ETA: I should be really upset by this, right? Or am I overreacting?
I don't think you are over-reacting at all NKB.
I see both of that in England, I see social drinkers and drunken people that Anastasia described. Most of the drunks are younger men. I have been around a lot of older people who have their glass or 2 of wine or a pint or 2 of beer, it seems very normal and not a problem.
Oooh I'm going to the Cambridge Beer Fest next week. Ought to be interesting!!!!!