Women tend to be very strange about how other women prepare their weddings.
Like everyone else said do what you think is right and do not care what everyone else said and most of the arguments for women keeping their last names are about children which obviously does not concern you.
If you do not like your husband's last name do not take it. However if I got married I would change my last name because I hate it lol
How have wondefull wedding
Dreams, getting married would be a great chance for both of you to choose a new name together! And it would avoid the appearance of becoming property, which I doubt appeals to you much.
(05-11-2010 09:05 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]Dreams, getting married would be a great chance for both of you to choose a new name together! And it would avoid the appearance of becoming property, which I doubt appeals to you much.
Make up your own last name that sounds fun, but I think all take me husbands if you don't count the childfree part I can be pretty traditionally feminine. I prefer wearing long skirts and dresses and I am even learning how to cross stitch.
Oh, you know what, DoG? I didn't realize you were engaged! So you already know what name and that you can live with it. Well, congratulations and best wishes to both of you.
(05-13-2010 04:39 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]Oh, you know what, DoG? I didn't realize you were engaged! So you already know what name and that you can live with it. Well, congratulations and best wishes to both of you.
Oh, I'm not engaged I'm just going what if
(05-14-2010 12:03 AM)DreamsOfGabija Wrote: [ -> ] (05-13-2010 04:39 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]Oh, you know what, DoG? I didn't realize you were engaged! So you already know what name and that you can live with it. Well, congratulations and best wishes to both of you.
Oh, I'm not engaged I'm just going what if
Well, you sure had ME fooled! I thought you must be engaged and had the big name talk with him and discussed the whole identity and documentation issue. One thing that always impresses me about the people on this board is how carefully they think everything out, probably a habit developed by the CF because choosing to procreate or not is also a huge decision.
But if you're not engaged, you can choose a name you like right now! Then it's yours forever. I did that and I just love what I chose because anyone can spell it, pronounce it, and it reflects my ethnic background. I had a crappy, god-awful name when I was born and thought I'd be stuck with it forever because I do have a big ego-identity thing: it doesn't change for anyone but me. But then I had a whole life-style change thing going on (military into civilian) and I wanted a fresh start. Dumping my father's name for a matronymic was just right for me at that time, and I've never regretted it. And when we both hyphenate for social purposes, the two names sound good together, too.
I love this board. The advice, opinions and articles here are so helpful and even entertaining.
One interesting thing I've noticed is the people that have issues with my name non-change seem to be younger than myself, while when older women find out they either say, "Ok" or even, "Good, I wish I'd kept my name."
The candle ceremony is a take on some religious thing. Something about 2 people becoming one with christ.
The sand is a more secular version of that where each person pours a different colored sand into a vase. They can then keep said vase on the mantle or in a box in the attic for the rest of their lives...
There is a new trend to do a wine and berry ceremony with wine sybolizing age and bitterness and berries being sweet...blah, blah, blah, something to do with love... There's a whole speech and then you take a sip and a bite, later at the reception everyone has the same wine and berries to symbolize family and friendship. I considered briefly doin this, but the only "symbolism" was simply that I like wine and berries.
Regardless of religion or guilt or whatever I will never understand women who take on hideous last names. A great friend from college had a decent last name and married a guy named Crapper-CRAPPER! I can not think of any reason in the planet to take a name like that.
(05-15-2010 04:29 AM)Lindsay Wrote: [ -> ]Regardless of religion or guilt or whatever I will never understand women who take on hideous last names. A great friend from college had a decent last name and married a guy named Crapper-CRAPPER! I can not think of any reason in the planet to take a name like that.
Holy crap!
Seriously, what the heck was going through her head?! I don't get it!
I know hubby and I are not traditional either .. our wedding didn't follow the traditional side of things by any means either and like many others I didn't change my last name to his (though I do use it socially but professionally etc its still my last name its been since birth).
One thing we did do though I add my last name on to his .. ::grins:: might not be what people expect or like, but it was actually his choice, he'd have dropped his last name if he could do so and might just do that in time (but keep it legal) as he doesn't like his family name and doesn't wont to be associated with them to start with.
This is off-topic, but welcome!
Jen M.
(06-03-2010 02:01 PM)Nyxks Wrote: [ -> ]I know hubby and I are not traditional either .. our wedding didn't follow the traditional side of things by any means either and like many others I didn't change my last name to his (though I do use it socially but professionally etc its still my last name its been since birth).
One thing we did do though I add my last name on to his .. ::grins:: might not be what people expect or like, but it was actually his choice, he'd have dropped his last name if he could do so and might just do that in time (but keep it legal) as he doesn't like his family name and doesn't wont to be associated with them to start with.