(I posted this on another forum that I know some of you are on as well, so I apologize for the double post.)
When I was visiting an old friend in my hometown (2.5 hrs from where I now live) back around Thanksgiving, she was fostering an adorable little cat named Poe who was around 5 or 6 months at the time (we think). I fell in love with him. He was friendly, playful, liked to snuggle, etc. She offered to pay the adoption fee for me as a Christmas gift if I wanted to take him. My apartment wasn't cat-ready, so she agreed to keep him for another month so I could get my place ready and I took him home with me just after Christmas.
Since then, I've barely gotten a good night's sleep. He can be very sweet sometimes, and he loves to cuddle up with me on the couch when I watch television. But he also has a bad habit of using my vertical blinds in my bedroom as a wake-up call at 4:30am. The rest of the night he will lay on the bed w/ me without any trouble. I've tried playing with him just before bed for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, and it doesn't help. I've tried a squirt bottle which he actually seems to like. I've tried just ignoring him completely (which sort of works, but he still continues to do it night after night). I've tried shutting him out of the bedroom but he just cries and bangs on the door. I live in an apartment, and I can't change the blinds. I'm stuck with them.
He also has a bad habit of treating my hands as toys and play-biting which I've not been able to break him of either.
I think that a lot of the problem is that he is alone so much. Weekdays I leave at 7:30am and don't get home till anywhere from 5:30 to 8:00pm. He seems to behave a little better on the weekends when I am usually home a bit more.
So here's my dilemma...do I give him back to the shelter I adopted him from? My schedule isn't going to change. The only thing that might help is for me to get a companion for him, but I'm not really sure that I want a second cat. When he was at my friend's house he had 2 other cats and a ferret to play with. So is it fair for me to keep him in my home when this might not be the best and happiest place for him? I'm still considering the second cat idea (I've had 2 at a time in the past) but what if that doesn't work and then I end up with two cats and the same problem.
Is he likely to outgrow some of this behavior as he gets older? I've never had a cat this young before, and I've never had a boy before so I don't know if this will change as he matures. I don't want to be a bad pet-parent, and I only want what is going to be best for him. I've talked to my friend that was fostering him, but she is dealing with a lot of personal stuff right now and isn't in a position to foster him again. I haven't called the actual shelter group yet. Just when I think I have my mind made up about it, I have second thoughts. He really is a sweet cat most of the time and always uses the litterbox, he only scratches his scratching post, etc. etc.
Ugh...any thoughts or advice would be welcome at this point. I don't have many other friends w/ pets that can offer any insight on this and I know many of you have a lot of experience with pets and behavior issues, etc.
Thanks for reading...
Vanessa
We have had Gary for over a month and he's 9 months old. He has the same habit of getting in a feisty mood and can attack hands or feet and he has sharp teeth. I try to stop interacting with him when he is like this. I think he will grow out of that, he is young and energetic so we have a lot of toys for him.
I do think your cat is getting bored being alone for so long. I don't know what to tell you about what you should do with him. I haven't had a young cat for many years, so it took some adjustment for us to get used to him. I also wonder if he had a companion he would like that(it's hard to know how unrelated cats will get along). We are going to be moving to a new home in a few months and will have to acclimate him to that(I don't look forward to those first few days). Others here probably have good advice for you.
Yes, get a companion. I say this because it has worked incredibly well with dogs as long as I have had them, and I have heard from cat people that this seems to cure about everything. Apparently domesticated animals need each other's company. It's important to match him with a cat of similar energy and a pleasant disposition, though. Is there a way to try out possible companions for Poe?
I'll echo what others have said - it seems counterintuitive but another cat is what you need. Udu used to wake me up when I first got her and she was a solo cat. During the summers she drove my neighbors CRAZY because when I was out of the house she'd go in the window (open) and CRY and cry. My one neighbor couldn't use her porch because Udu drove her nuts. I got Ali and that was it. End of waking up in the night, end of crying. They do get really lonely. Having one cat is not the best situation - a friend is best.
Some cats like to be alone, but those are rare. Most who need a companion will be fine with non-cats (a human or dog) but as you won't be home all the time and as you probably don't want a dog... another cat might be a good idea.
Some things to keep in mind:
* He likely won't stop playing with the blinds for a long while. It's a kitten thing. *But* having another cat means that you can kick him out of the bedroom at night (or in early morning when he starts playing with them) and he likely won't cry at the door if he has another cat to keep him company.
* The nipping thing is a bad habit that some kittens aren't taught not to do. Essentially all puppies and kittens bite when they are young, because they are teething and playing and it's completely natural. In an ideal world they learn from their siblings and mum that they need to be gentle, so they will still nip but gently. They eventually grow out of it, but before then you can 'yelp' and pull your hand away when Poe nips at you. I find that single orphan kittens seem to have this problem, no matter how much I try to help them (siblings teach each other as they play, but they don't seem to understand it when they just bite me - maybe because I don't bite them so they don't understand why it's painful?).
I can't tell you that getting another cat is going to solve all your problems, but it should make him less annoying. The key to my reasoning? Your friend had him along with her other cats and he was better behaved over there. So having another cat does seem to make him more tolerable
I have a crazy cat who was HELL the first year. She never slept, ran around the apartment crying and screaming all day and night, tore into EVERYTHING and was a general pest. I also had (and have) another cat, but he's the complete opposite of her. He'd play with her most of the time, but he didn't have nearly the energy she did.
She did calm down some around 12 months, then even more around 24.
He is young and could definitely grow out of it. I would strongly urge you to keep trying to keep him out of your bedroom at night despite the constant cries for attention. He'll get over it and you'll get sleep.
I can't speak for the second cat thing. I'd also be worried about getting another one that was just as feisty but didn't play well with the first one- thus resulting in MORE problems, but I should also say I'm NOT a cat person. The two cats I have now are the only cats I've had as an adult so the others here have far more experience than me in that regard
Good luck!
I've decided to give him another shot. Once I typed all that out I realized just how petty and stupid my "reasons" seemed for considering returning him. He really is sweet most of the time, and I do think he may outgrow some of the things. I forget that he is quite a bit younger than other cats I've had. (The others were at least a year or more when I got them.)
I'm also strongly considering the second cat option. I know he gets along well with others since he was fostered with 2 other females. I think I just need to be very picky about the companion animal, but I think ultimately it will be good for him to have that company during the longer days.
Thank you all for your advice. It really helped me figure this whole thing out.
Vanessa
At the shelter where I used to volunteer they only allowed kitten adoptions in "twos". One kitten is too lonely and unhappy.
Good luck!!!
Hooray for you and Poe! Please keep us posted.
Also, on another thread, I remember someone using a crate for their cat overnight. It was big enough for a small littler box. Crate was left open during the day for the cat to use as a hidey-hole. That would keep him from banging the door, and it would cut down the noise (if kept in another room with a door) as well.
Oh right, Eslbee has a good point. When I foster I usually put the kittens in their own 'cat room' at night and when I'm out of the house during the day. It has food, water, and litter, along with a huge pile of toys. The kittens sometimes cry a bit at the start, but they quiet down pretty quickly and amuse themselves.
There are occasionally cats who never stop crying, for example I had one cat who would meow at my door the whole night if I kept her out (you'd think that she'd eventually go mute, but *no*!), and yet if I let her in she would lay on my face and purr. Neither were good options, so she was confined to the washroom at night (the only spare room that I had at the time) and I specifically mentioned on her form that she had to go to a home that had a place for her to spend the night (for example a basement with a door to close her in). The washroom is a perfectly reasonable place to put him, provided that he has all the necessities and toys.
It's amusing to see what people are willing to tolerate, because some people find it cruel that I confine a cat to a single room for most of the day. Yet the cat is played with, loved, and has all the necessities. In this case the foster cat's alternative is a small cage, so for a temporary situation they really are in luxury, but even as a longer-term solution the cats are quite happy in a smaller room. The key is to have toys and other distractions, for example I prefer keeping them in my spare room where they can see out the window to the busy street. I think that some people aren't aware of how flexible and adaptable cats can be.
I think the reason I hesitate to do any of the crating stuff, or to even shut him out of the bedroom at night is because I already feel bad enough that he is alone for such a large part of the time. I don't think it's fair of me to shut him out at night too. Plus, I do like having him on the bed with me. It's sort of comforting. It's just the part where he decides to wake me up with the blinds at 2am and again at 4am and again just before my alarm at 6am that bugs me. (And that's not even every night...most nights it's only once around 4am.)
I tried using the double sided sticky tape stuff that is supposed to prevent them from scratching furniture to block off an area in front of the window so he couldn't get close enough to rattle the blinds. The problem was that it didn't stick to my carpet very well and would come up with his paws when he lifted them. So then he kind of freaked out and ended up with it getting tangled around his paws. I'm considering looking into some kind of baby gate or something similar next if he doesn't stop. He's not a very good jumper so I'm not worried about him going over it (unless he could climb it I guess...hmmm).
When I adopted him, they guessed that he was probably around 6 months or so, and I've had him for almost 2 months now. I know that is still considered "kitten", so I need to keep that in mind when he does that stuff, or nips my hands, or attacks my calves when I walk by, or gets a 20 minute case of the "zoomies" and tears up and down my apartment.
Vanessa
As a suggestion - have a room ready, and when he starts to play at 2am or 4am pick him up and put him in that room. He should soon get the picture... playing with the blinds will get him tossed out. You can try to be nice by having a fun toy by your bed (hidden in a drawer?) so that when he starts you can throw the toy and distract him, but as soon as he plays with the blinds again he's taken away. The idea would be that he starts to associate the game with the blinds as bad, and will stop in future. I know what you mean - I have felt really guilty about neglecting them and have tended to let them get away with more as a result. With this suggestion you do have to wake up in the middle of the night, but at least it's just once and hopefully it won't be for long.
As far as the play biting goes, I've had plenty of experience with that. My cat use to stalk me and attack my legs, arms, head (whatever was closest). I eventually learned how to identify when we have going to attack. His eyes would get dilated, his ears would flatten back and he would tense up. When we would get like this, he would follow me around the house until he could attack me. So my solution for this was to have him follow me into a room then lock him in there for 30 minutes or so until he could calm down. A lot of times his "attack mode" would get triggered by over-stimulation. Once I figured out what was going on and how to address it he started doing it less. But we had him for almost 3 years before we found something that worked.
(02-21-2010 04:45 PM)Ziggy Wrote: [ -> ]Some cats like to be alone, but those are rare. Most who need a companion will be fine with non-cats (a human or dog) but as you won't be home all the time and as you probably don't want a dog... another cat might be a good idea.
Some things to keep in mind:
* He likely won't stop playing with the blinds for a long while. It's a kitten thing. *But* having another cat means that you can kick him out of the bedroom at night (or in early morning when he starts playing with them) and he likely won't cry at the door if he has another cat to keep him company.
* The nipping thing is a bad habit that some kittens aren't taught not to do. Essentially all puppies and kittens bite when they are young, because they are teething and playing and it's completely natural. In an ideal world they learn from their siblings and mum that they need to be gentle, so they will still nip but gently. They eventually grow out of it, but before then you can 'yelp' and pull your hand away when Poe nips at you. I find that single orphan kittens seem to have this problem, no matter how much I try to help them (siblings teach each other as they play, but they don't seem to understand it when they just bite me - maybe because I don't bite them so they don't understand why it's painful?).
I can't tell you that getting another cat is going to solve all your problems, but it should make him less annoying. The key to my reasoning? Your friend had him along with her other cats and he was better behaved over there. So having another cat does seem to make him more tolerable
ITA Vanessa Please listen to Ziggy, she is very good at what she does.
I have not had a kitten in a long long time. But I do know they grow out of bad habits, and they do like the company of other cats.
If & when Bob ever gets a job, we plan on getting a brother or sister for Sir Boots to play with. He needs the exercise, lol.
But I had to LOL at your "blinds story" as Boots does the same thing to DH
When I come in here to go on the computer. DH will still be sleeping.
So, Boots will jump on the bed and paw at the blinds cause he loves to look out the window.
And of course, we as his slaves, attend his every command, lol.
And open the blinds for him. Either I have to climb over a sleeping hunk of flesh to reach the window, or DH will wake up and open it for him, lol.
Either way the King gets his way, lol.
But we don't really mind, all that much cause we both should be awake anyway, lol.
Ok, now I need some new advice. I spoke w/ the person I adopted Poe from and she agreed that an additional cat would probably be the best thing for him. She had a friendly, young, fixed female about his age that she thought would be a good match for him. I went an met her, and she seemed affectionate and outgoing. She was crawling all over me and Renee said she liked to sit on the shoulders of the kids who volunteer there. She was born at the shelter though, and has spent most of her life in the cage w/ a couple of litter mates.
So I decided to bring her home. She was pretty good in the car (it was a 2.5 hour drive), although she did throw up in her carrier early on. She was fine after that though and stayed quiet. I brought her in and put her in the bathroom w/ a bed, the carrier, food, water, toys and litter (the food and litter on opposite ends of the room). She seemed to be doing fine at first. I would sit in there with her and she would rub up against my legs, etc. She ate and drank and used the litter box (all this w/in the first couple hours). She seemed to be adjusting well, so I let her into my bedroom as well (it connects to the bathroom, but I'm still able to shut her out of the rest of the apartment as well as keep Poe out). I don't think she liked that too much. Then I made the mistake of trying to wipe some gunk off of her face. I didn't just grab at her, or move too quickly towards her or anything...she was already by me and seemed open to it. But she didn't like what I was trying to do and ended up scratching me in the face and hissing.
After that I can't go near her without her hissing and swatting at me. I managed to get her back into the bathroom (I thought isolating her in the smaller space might be best), but I still can't get in there. I couldn't even go in to turn off the light, which may have helped calm her down a bit last night. (Not to mention using the bathroom...but that's another story.) She cried almost all night. She would go for about a minute, then stop for five, then start again. I think I maybe got 3 hours of sleep. Then this morning I got up and slipped more food and fresh water in (I was able to do that w/o going into the room since the dishes were just inside one of the doors.), and she saw me doing it. She meowed the whole time and just watched me from the other side of the room. She's been quiet ever since though.
So how do I handle gaining her trust so she doesn't attack me? I've never had a new cat act this way before, so it's really new to me. I'm a little freaked out about it. I know that some cats take longer to adjust than others, but I've never had this problem before. (And I've also had 2 bathrooms before so the new cat could be undisturbed also.)
Poe doesn't seem to care much one way or the other. He sniffed through the door for a while, but the whole time she was crying all night he just laid with me.
Now I just feel like I made a whole new set of problems for myself.
Vanessa
Oh no! I'm so sorry. Poor thing is probably scared out of her mind. This could take time. When we brought home Udu she hid for several days under the bed in our guest room. She wouldn't even be in the same room as us for weeks. It took 4 years for her to sit on my lap and even longer before she purred the first time... Hopefully your new addition will warm up faster than that.
My only advice is to be patient. You can probably let her out into the house and let her find her comfort place - under a bed or under furniture somewhere, likely. Give her time. Good luck!!
I just talked to the woman at the shelter and she said to take away the catnip. I didn't even think about it really. I had just given her some toys to play with in the room and one of them is a fabric stick w/ catnip in it. She seemed to like it, but it wasn't too long after I gave it to her that she started behaving differently. They said it's kind of like how some people are happy drunks and some people are mean or sad drunks...she might just be a mean drunk - especially since she hasn't likely ever had catnip before. So they said that I should first try removing that from her and giving her some kind of treat or wet cat food or something to help move the stuff out of her system. Then she how she does. They said it's really unusual for her to be behaving this way becuase she's never exhibited this kind of aggressive behavior towards anyone before which is why they think it may be something like the catnip. Also, they apparently gave her some kind of shot that she was due for yesterday too, so it could be a combination of not feeling well due to the shot and the new wonky feeling of the catnip, etc.
I really hope this helps. She seemed really sweet and friendly when I was introduced to her (I woudln't have brought her home otherwise). They said they would obviously take her back if the situation doesn't improve, but I really don't want it to come to that.
Vanessa
Good idea about the catnip! It's true - some cats react negatively to it.
This just keeps getting better. Now they think it may be that she's having a reaction to the vaccination they gave her yesterday. Apparently her brothers got it yesterday too and they are all acting strangely as well (not wanting to be touched, etc.). And I just heard her in the litter box and it sounded like she might have diarrhea, but I can't get into the room to check it or clean it out of the box. She won't let me near without attacking me. I'm feeding her the same food as she was used to in the shelter, so that's not likely a problem. Ugh. I just don't know what to do. I've never had this kind of problem before. I just want her to feel better and be happy, and I feel like I'm failing miserably.
Vanessa
Where's Ziggy? She's an expert in this!