02-12-2010, 09:36 PM
OK, so I finally I took the time to read everyone's story here. Because I decided to post my story at last. And I replied accordingly to you all, lol
So now it is my turn to tell MY story.
I grew up in a family of 3
Mother, Brother & Me
My father died when I was 2 and mother never remarried.
We were "latch key" kids before the term was ever created.
Mother took the role of both mother & father and became the bread winner, in a decade where women were subjected to stay at home and keep their children safe & happy.
But since mother could not be in two places at the same time.
Her rules provided for our safety, but not our happiness.
We had to run home as soon as school let out.
Was not allowed to go to potential friends houses after school
Instead had to be home to call her to let her know we was safe and then do chores.
I learned to wash dishes when I was 5 and washed dishes every day of my life till the year 2002
As a child growing up, I was treated like a servant.
As I got older I learned to cook, clean, and iron.
I had to have dinner on the table before mother came home or otherwise I would have felt her wrath. ( Yes I was abused as I have mentioned many times prior to this post)
I thought to myself I would never make any child of mine do what I had to do. And I would NEVER abuse a child the way I was abused.
Brother dear seeing that mother made me her punching bag, thought it was ok for him to do the same.
So I got abused by him as well.
And I could not tattle on brother, cause she never believed ME. Cause I was the liar, and he was the saint. Cause he was the oldest, first born, and momma's only son.
As I got older to make extra money, so that I could enjoy my life which. And the only thing I had back then was food. It was the only thing that never hit me or made fun of me.
So being a fat kid in school, did not leave me much room to make friends and have a social life.
So, in order to make my owb $ back then, the only way as a teen was, of course, the babysitting route. At least by babysitting I thought I could have the best of both worlds. Watch TV & EAT for FREE, LOL. But I found out the hard way that idea did not last too long for me.
Looking back I know that was the pivotal moment of my life.
Well actually, 2 separate incidents turned it around for me. To make me realize that I never wanted a child of my own.
Incident 1. Was the time I babysat for some youngsters
I was maybe 16 at the time.
The kids were around 4 & 5 maybe.
But anyway, The parents left me in charge and Everything was running smooth as silk when all of a sudden I got sicker then a dog.
And threw up. I never made it to the bathroom toilet. Instead I threw up in their kitchen sink. I cleaned it all up, but the kids saw me do it.
I begged them not to tell their parents, cause I would be in trouble and I would not be able to watch them again.
Well to make a long story short.. They Did rat me out. And I was dismissed from watching them again.
That told me right there, never to trust a kid again!
Incident 2. Involved me babysitting a real baby.
This kid screamed non stop from the time the parents left, till the time they came home. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing I did appeased this kid.
It was fed, changed, I tried to rock it, walk with it, I did everything I knew how at age 16 and this kid would not stop crying.
That was the turning point for me. I said never again can I put up with that. To this day, I hate it when kids start to cry, lol
I just cannot take the sound! I get an instant migraine from it.
Just thinking about it makes my head hurt, lol.
As I got older and in my 20's I knew stuck to my beliefs of not wanting children
I don't remember if I got any flack from anyone or not.
I know My mother was always disappointed in me over my choice.
Being raised Jewish, its all about the children of the world, don't you know.
(spit, gag, barf)
And of course passing the faith down. But I never felt any of that for various reasons.
1. She was never around to instill any real religious beliefs cause she was always working.
2. Same reason for never knowing how to be a real woman, aka
Make up hair styles, etc etc
3. I knew I was always a disappointment to her because I was a tom boy being raised with a brother, I wanted to do all the cool things my brother got to do. Like play basketball and baseball, etc etc
And because brother was a boy the double standard of him getting to do more after school stuff was allowed just because he WAS a BOY!
4. She never had time to take up to Temple so we never knew anything really.
So, she only instilled small traditions. That I do still carry out in my adult life. But nothing of any major religious value.
Anyway getting back to my CF mode.
As I got older in my middle 20's I dated many men.
But of course they all wanted children, and I did not so the relationships all fizzled out. I saw my friends get married and get divorced years later. And I did not want that for myself.
I just waited & waited. I knew that sooner or later I would meet the man that was destined to be my sole mate.
It was not till at age 29 that I met and fell in love with my wonderful 21 year old ( back then) hubby.
He too shared my belief of never wanting any children of his own.
And we have been happily married for almost 25 years.
One marriage One Life style that we both hold very dear.
And for all the same reasons all of you have posted over & over again.
I never ever felt any maternial instincts other then to raise a Puppy or a kitten.
I feel that pets are by far the best thing anyone can can do for themselves. Its been proven scientifically that they lower blood preassre and help oldsters
like me live longer, lol.
That cannot be said for having a child, who gives you nothing but heartaches and $$$$$$ out the window for diapers, food, clothes,
college, etc etc. The list is endless, lol
Give me a Dog or cat anyday!
I have no regrets at all. And hubby, Boots & I are very happy
depsite the shitty economy, lol
So now it is my turn to tell MY story.
I grew up in a family of 3
Mother, Brother & Me
My father died when I was 2 and mother never remarried.
We were "latch key" kids before the term was ever created.
Mother took the role of both mother & father and became the bread winner, in a decade where women were subjected to stay at home and keep their children safe & happy.
But since mother could not be in two places at the same time.
Her rules provided for our safety, but not our happiness.
We had to run home as soon as school let out.
Was not allowed to go to potential friends houses after school
Instead had to be home to call her to let her know we was safe and then do chores.
I learned to wash dishes when I was 5 and washed dishes every day of my life till the year 2002
As a child growing up, I was treated like a servant.
As I got older I learned to cook, clean, and iron.
I had to have dinner on the table before mother came home or otherwise I would have felt her wrath. ( Yes I was abused as I have mentioned many times prior to this post)
I thought to myself I would never make any child of mine do what I had to do. And I would NEVER abuse a child the way I was abused.
Brother dear seeing that mother made me her punching bag, thought it was ok for him to do the same.
So I got abused by him as well.
And I could not tattle on brother, cause she never believed ME. Cause I was the liar, and he was the saint. Cause he was the oldest, first born, and momma's only son.
As I got older to make extra money, so that I could enjoy my life which. And the only thing I had back then was food. It was the only thing that never hit me or made fun of me.
So being a fat kid in school, did not leave me much room to make friends and have a social life.
So, in order to make my owb $ back then, the only way as a teen was, of course, the babysitting route. At least by babysitting I thought I could have the best of both worlds. Watch TV & EAT for FREE, LOL. But I found out the hard way that idea did not last too long for me.
Looking back I know that was the pivotal moment of my life.
Well actually, 2 separate incidents turned it around for me. To make me realize that I never wanted a child of my own.
Incident 1. Was the time I babysat for some youngsters
I was maybe 16 at the time.
The kids were around 4 & 5 maybe.
But anyway, The parents left me in charge and Everything was running smooth as silk when all of a sudden I got sicker then a dog.
And threw up. I never made it to the bathroom toilet. Instead I threw up in their kitchen sink. I cleaned it all up, but the kids saw me do it.
I begged them not to tell their parents, cause I would be in trouble and I would not be able to watch them again.
Well to make a long story short.. They Did rat me out. And I was dismissed from watching them again.
That told me right there, never to trust a kid again!
Incident 2. Involved me babysitting a real baby.
This kid screamed non stop from the time the parents left, till the time they came home. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing I did appeased this kid.
It was fed, changed, I tried to rock it, walk with it, I did everything I knew how at age 16 and this kid would not stop crying.
That was the turning point for me. I said never again can I put up with that. To this day, I hate it when kids start to cry, lol
I just cannot take the sound! I get an instant migraine from it.
Just thinking about it makes my head hurt, lol.
As I got older and in my 20's I knew stuck to my beliefs of not wanting children
I don't remember if I got any flack from anyone or not.
I know My mother was always disappointed in me over my choice.
Being raised Jewish, its all about the children of the world, don't you know.
(spit, gag, barf)
And of course passing the faith down. But I never felt any of that for various reasons.
1. She was never around to instill any real religious beliefs cause she was always working.
2. Same reason for never knowing how to be a real woman, aka
Make up hair styles, etc etc
3. I knew I was always a disappointment to her because I was a tom boy being raised with a brother, I wanted to do all the cool things my brother got to do. Like play basketball and baseball, etc etc
And because brother was a boy the double standard of him getting to do more after school stuff was allowed just because he WAS a BOY!
4. She never had time to take up to Temple so we never knew anything really.
So, she only instilled small traditions. That I do still carry out in my adult life. But nothing of any major religious value.
Anyway getting back to my CF mode.
As I got older in my middle 20's I dated many men.
But of course they all wanted children, and I did not so the relationships all fizzled out. I saw my friends get married and get divorced years later. And I did not want that for myself.
I just waited & waited. I knew that sooner or later I would meet the man that was destined to be my sole mate.
It was not till at age 29 that I met and fell in love with my wonderful 21 year old ( back then) hubby.
He too shared my belief of never wanting any children of his own.
And we have been happily married for almost 25 years.
One marriage One Life style that we both hold very dear.
And for all the same reasons all of you have posted over & over again.
I never ever felt any maternial instincts other then to raise a Puppy or a kitten.
I feel that pets are by far the best thing anyone can can do for themselves. Its been proven scientifically that they lower blood preassre and help oldsters
like me live longer, lol.That cannot be said for having a child, who gives you nothing but heartaches and $$$$$$ out the window for diapers, food, clothes,
college, etc etc. The list is endless, lol
Give me a Dog or cat anyday!
I have no regrets at all. And hubby, Boots & I are very happy
depsite the shitty economy, lol
. At least you decided to be childfree...that is a good thing...