We Kid You Not Childfree Forums

Pretty much most of my life I never wanted to have kids. When I was a kid, I told everyone that I was not going to have kids. They laughed and thought it was cute. I didn't like kids much even when I was that age.

But there was a time when I wanted to have at least one child. I was 22 when I felt that way. I became a Christian at 23 and was very sure that I would meet a woman and get married and have a baby. There was no influence, I made up my own mind about that. Well, it never happened and about a couple of years after that, I decided not have kids and it has stayed that way ever since.

Also, I am not interested in developing a relationship with a woman that has kids, even grown up ones. I have heard of so many problems with it and I feel like I would have to deal with the kids if the woman had them.

About a few years ago I posted on here about seeing a woman on another discussion board wanting to have a child and no husband or man to be with her and the child (I don't know if you remembered). I was interested in that, and had replied to that woman that I was interested in it. I never heard back from her. I did get quite a scolding on here about that, and then my mind changed; and then I thought it was a bad idea to go through with it. The thing that appealed to me about it was I would have had an intimate time with someone, which was badly needed for me. It's better to just not do it and wait for someone who would be like me. Hard to do though.

A lot of people assume now for me that I don't want to have kids because I'm too old. Of course that's true, but I didn't want to have any when I was much younger. My sister is OK with me not wanting to have kids, but she gets upset that I would not want to have someone that already has kids. She's even told me that it's never too late to have kids. Oh, yes it is! She and her husband were in their 50s when they just started to have kids. I still think that was screwy.

Great story, Tommy! Wow, I didn't realize your sister was in her 50s when she had kids! That IS screwy!

I'm glad to see another male respond.

It's interesting that you mentioned that you also didn't like other kids when you were a child yourself. I really think there is a strong correlation with introversion and being CF.

Thanks for sharing your story. It's interesting to read the male perspective. Sounds like you know what you want, so stick to your guns and don't feel you have to compromise on the adult children issue. I married a man who has teen/adult child and every day is a compromise. I don't regret my decision but it's not for everyone.

(02-01-2010 12:42 PM)CF Scorpio Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for sharing your story. It's interesting to read the male perspective. Sounds like you know what you want, so stick to your guns and don't feel you have to compromise on the adult children issue. I married a man who has teen/adult child and every day is a compromise. I don't regret my decision but it's not for everyone.

Thanks so much CF Scorpio. I have a fairly interesting story to share that happened to me recently. A couple of weeks ago a woman (50 years old, divorced with an 18 year old daughter) that lives at my complex asked me if she and I can go on a one-hour bike ride together.
She has had all kinds of injuries over the years from being a triathlete and felt that bike riding could help her.

I didn't take it seriously as a date. I've only talked to her a couple of times and barely know her. I was hesitant about possibly dating with her because she has a daughter and that's not what I wanted. But I gave her a chance just to see how it would go. I thought at least it would be nice to have someone to go bike riding with and possibility of a friend.

Well, I showed up at her place at the time we were going for the bike ride. She was all spaced out. I don't know if she was drunk, on drugs, or on medication. It really freaked me out and I left in disgust. Some people that I had told this to had suggested that I should call her back and try again. I really don't want to. I felt like she scared me.
What was more offensive to me than being spaced out was that she didn't call me ahead of time to tell me she didn't feel good, and she never got back to me after that incident to apologize. So I just forgot about her.

I guess she was not meant to be. I'm OK with that for now.

Thanks for sharing Tom.

I think that dating someone with adult kids is a possibility for me, but completely based on their personality. I have worked with people for years and only later learned that they had children, compared to others who have photos plastered everywhere. If I happened to meet a person that was really compatible with me and they didn't prioritise their adult child (I don't need to be their complete priority, but I'd need them to be able to compromise) then I'd be willing to date them. Still, I agree that it isn't for everyone. CFScorpio is a strong person for sticking with it, and doing it well.

Yeah, that lady sounds like a fruitcake. It sounds like she completely spaced out and forgot you had plans, which is why she didn't call to cancel. Who needs flaky people in their life?

(02-01-2010 12:42 PM)CF Scorpio Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for sharing your story. It's interesting to read the male perspective. Sounds like you know what you want, so stick to your guns and don't feel you have to compromise on the adult children issue. I married a man who has teen/adult child and every day is a compromise. I don't regret my decision but it's not for everyone.

ITA with CFS Tommy stick to your guns. My hubby did it at age 21 & so can you!

Tommy, if there is any chance this woman is a substance abuser, stay away. Trust me on this one. Been there, done that, didn't like the T-shirt I got!

Your sister had kids in her 50s? Wow!

Jen M.

Thank you for your story.
There are some women who will NOT give up until they have a child of their own. WOW.