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Very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. At least you got to see her a few days before she went. My mom passed away about four years ago. My sister told me that this was really it for my mom and told me to come back to see her for the last time.

Just when I got to the San Diego airport (heading for Boston) I got the call from my sister saying that she had passed away. I missed seeing her before she went.

I guess what I can say is brace yourself for the funeral in a couple of days. Sometimes family members get upset and start fingerpointing. That's what happened when my dad passed away in 1998. My sister claimed that she cared the most for my parents and everyone else did not. It was pretty bad. Just a little heads up. I wish for the best for you.

(01-30-2010 02:55 AM)tommy14 Wrote: [ -> ]Very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. At least you got to see her a few days before she went. My mom passed away about four years ago. My sister told me that this was really it for my mom and told me to come back to see her for the last time.

Just when I got to the San Diego airport (heading for Boston) I got the call from my sister saying that she had passed away. I missed seeing her before she went.

I guess what I can say is brace yourself for the funeral in a couple of days. Sometimes family members get upset and start fingerpointing. That's what happened when my dad passed away in 1998. My sister claimed that she cared the most for my parents and everyone else did not. It was pretty bad. Just a little heads up. I wish for the best for you.

Oh Tommy I am so sorry you had to go though all of that. And Trust me I am WAY ahead of you on that score.
My plan is to show up dressed in black with a Black shawl over my head & face and not to say word one to no one!
Just nod & sob and not say a word, total silence!
My husband will do all the talking for me.
Till I get to our car, lol
Anyway, I figure no one in my family listens to me anyway, so why even bother talking to anyone period!
And since my shit head brother went against my mothers wishes of a graveside service and to have the funeral held at a chapel! For a jew no less, I have nothing more to say to anyone much less him.
I am sure my cousins will be outraged at the idea of a chapel to begin with. So I am Minimizing the chance of any brew ha ha happening tomorrow. At least not due to me, lol.

MANY THANKS TO EVERYONE for all of your condolences and support

I'm surprised the funeral is going that way. I figured it would be over within 24 hours or so since she didn't die close to Shabbat. I'm sorry you're suffering the loss. Having been through it myself recently twice, I know all the family dynamics that surface. It can get very ugly very quickly. Hold your head high, do your best not to kill anyone, and remember the good that you can to get you through.

Sorry to hear about your mom's passing away. I agree with the last few posters. When my mom died, things got really really ugly between my sister and I. My dad passed two years earlier. It's like since there are no more parents in the picture, some siblings will say and do weird shit. It's always a difficult time no matter if you had a great mom or not. Hugs to you and thank goodness your husband will be with you.

Well its all over now gang and mother is gone forever. And now the healing within me can finally begin.
I am happy to report that things went very smoothly
Aside from one minor skirmish with my shit head cousin who insisted on sitting way in the back. The rabbi did not feel the need to want to shout and he had no Mic.
So he asked him to move up front.
But for my cousin that would involve sitting next to someone and he did not want to do that.
So he insisted on staying where he was at, which upset the Rabbi, but he got over it quickly.
The service was short and nauseating, but, hey I tried to ignore it all in my head by singing to myself
"ding dong the Witch is dead" lol Of course now that silly song is still stuck in my head.
Just in case you all don't remember my mother abused me my whole life both physically and mentally, so there is no love lost at all.
All I want is my fair share $ wise.
My only brother is the POA and he will settle the trust funds the best he can.
ITMT the reason we DID wait till Sunday 1-31-10 was to give mothers only granddaughter time to make arrangements to fly in from
LA CA. It was very good to see Marissa again. I had not seen her in decades. She was about the only one that hugged me and almost made me shed a tear, but for her sake only, cause she loved her "bubby". Of course why wouldn't she. Mother spoiled her rotten.

But anyway, best laid plans of mice & men....
I never did get to keep my vow of silence. I forgot about having to make introductions of my in-laws to my brother. Who only saw them once 25 years ago. So I did not expect brother to remember them.
All went very smoothly
And after the service we went to the cemetery which was about 3 minute drive away from the chapel
And the Rabbi said some more prayers and I got to shovel some dirt on her casket And that was that.
We all parted ways. I thanked everyone for coming
And said my goodbye's to brother and his S/O and that was it.

Brother posted in the Obits that there would be No visitation, meaning no get together at anyones home after the service.
But I did Have my in-laws at our house, and we served them
Pizza & cheesy bread from Little Caesar's. And I made coffee and I had diet sodas to share. And we all had a very nice VISIT.
I was pleasantly surprised to see my other Niece Gina
She was the one who had Twins last year & ½ ago.
Plus my BIL Best friend and his wife showed too.
So, I was feeding 6 people plus us.
TG I had enough seats for everyone, lol. And of course Mr Sociable aka Sir Boots, was the life of the party, lol.

As for the the 10K I am suppose to be getting. I did not get that yet.
But hopefully I will get it soon.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for your support and condolences.
I am doing fine, thank you.