I wonder if I'm the only one who feels this way?
I have been a worker and a job-seeker for many, many years. In my time on both sides of that particular fence, I have learned to identify certain language in job ads that says to me: "Run, do not walk, away from this job lead." I came across one this morning, which is a shame, because the job otherwise looked great, and the location was pretty awesome.
The phrase: "Must have a good sense of humor."
In my time as a temp and job-seeker, I figured out that this ACTUALLY means "We will not train you, and you will be put through a lot of bullshit. If you can't be a team player and just laugh it off, we will treat you like shit."
Anyone have similar reactions to certain wording in job ads? This is coming up again for me, because, while my job has improved on some levels, I'm very dissatisfied (BORED, to be blunt, and not learning anything new,) and one of my goals for 2010 is to find a new job.
Jen M.
EDITED for typos
Wow, I've never even heard of "good sense of humor" as a job requirement!
The only red flag I've noticed is, if I look at several ads for a particular organization, and they have similar language -- that is, they are all drawn, verbatim, from the HR manual, and don't necessarily speak to the real job functions. For example, the policy manual says, "Must type a minimum of 35 WPM", which it will say for every single job, from secretary to public safety, then you arrive at the job interview and they say, "Well, we really want someone who can type 70wpm".
If they are too lazy to print an accurate job description -- if all they want to do is submit the same, tired, old job descriptions that were written up when God was a child -- then you're know you're heading into a lazy organization.
Oh, I agree with that. Also, spelling and grammar errors in job ads. I know things just happen and people make mistakes--heck, I had to edit my OP 2 or 3 times for typos--but if someone is not taking the time to proofread their job ads, it makes me wonder what else they are sloppy about?
I see that "sense of humor" line a lot.
Jen M.
"Fast-paced work environment" means complete chaos and you will be expected to do everything and will be blamed for everything that goes wrong, which happens more frequently than not.
Oh dear god, you've got me started! I think everyone knows that of anyone on the board I'm the most likely to be looking at want ads. Many many pet peeves abound in job ads.
Fast paced environment - your phone will be ringing off the hook.
Team player wanted - you must be an asskisser.
Team player needed - you will be the only competent person here so you'll clean up after everyone.
Outgoing personality - this is a sales job where you work on commission only.
Dynamic environment - you'll be expected to clean toilets and refill the copier.
Must have go-getter personality - this is a sales job where you work on commission only.
Goal oriented people only - this is a sales job on straight hourly pay yet you have a quota.
Possible overtime - you'll be lucky to work less than 60 hours a week at 40 hours pay.
Mandatory overtime - you'll be working at least 80 hours a week.
Weekend and evening hours possible - you'll never see your family or friends again.
Self-starter needed - we won't train you and you'll be two months behind on your first day.
Professional appearance a must - we'll pay $10/hour and expect you to wear designer suits.
Highly visible position - you'll be the chump all the customers yell at first.
Customer service position - you'll be the chump people yell at first and we'll fire you if you say boo.
Salary negotiable - we're really hoping you'll lowball yourself because we're cheap bastards.
I didn't even read any ads to come up with this so imagine if I grabbed a paper and went to town.
Hahaha! OMG, Eddy. Those are great and so, so true!
To me, "must be a team player" means "If you're the least bit different and don't gossip like everyone else, we will ostracize you like junior high kids!"
Jen M.
(12-30-2009 01:27 PM)PrairieGirl Wrote: [ -> ]If they are too lazy to print an accurate job description -- if all they want to do is submit the same, tired, old job descriptions that were written up when God was a child -- then you're know you're heading into a lazy organization.
Or it could be that it's just a bureaucracy. I know at Carnegie Mellon they have an electronic form used to submit job vacancies and it's amazing to see how many of the same phrases are used over and over again, like "possible evenings or weekends" or "must be able to deal with high stress situations" or even "must be able to sit for long periods of time". All of these are basically BS phrases and yet they always include them.
Take a look for yourself:
http://www.cmu.edu/jobs/
Go to the view all listings item and read a few, preferably from different areas like secretary and security officer. It's amusing to see how the descriptions are almost identical.
To me a lot of those phrases mean that you are doing the crappiest of all work, lowest man on the totem pole work, putting up with everyone's crap for next to no pay at all. I've worked tons of temp jobs and most of them end up being like this. You aren't really important, they just want a warm body but you should expect to do everything for everyone, put up with their rudeness and "better than you" attitude for poverty level pay.
And Eddy's descriptions are good ones! Eddy you SHOULD grab a paper and go to town, they are sure entertaining.
Eddy, I don't know whether to laugh because your translations are so funny, or cry because they're accurate. I'm so not looking forward to job searching this summer.
(12-31-2009 02:00 PM)Koi Wrote: [ -> ]Eddy, I don't know whether to laugh because your translations are so funny, or cry because they're accurate. I'm so not looking forward to job searching this summer.
The sad thing is I don't know which response I'd prefer because there is just way too much truth in the translations I gave.
I think after you've experienced it all so many times, you just kind of become numb. :S
Jen M.
I think the interview is more telling than the ad but I do agree that most of them are generic and lack any type of creativity or originality at all. But then again, do they need to be anything more than generic? It's just an ad and the more words there are, the more they have to pay.