Here's a present for all of you. In my writing classes, we have blogging, or informal writing, on various topics of my choosing. I offered a makeup oipportunity and chose the following:
Make-up blog
This is an opportunity for those of you who have fallen behind to catch up a little. Due date is Tuesday, Nov. 17, the week after conferences.
It's a pet peeve of mine that people never seem to think about whether or not they ought to have children until they are about to have them. So please consider these questions and comment. The sociologist in me wants to know!
1. Do you plan to have children? Why or why not?
2. If you want them, will you have them the old-fashioned way, use techniques such as in-vitro fertilization or surrogate mothers, or might you adopt?
3. If you have a committed partner, have you discussed this with them?
4. How will you manage parenthood? Do you think having children changes everything, or are you determined not to let it change your lifestyle?
5. If you do not want children, please tell us more of your thinking on the issue.
Here is the first batch of responses. I'll post more as I get them sanitized.
I've always strived for just the "mediocre idea of life". 9-5 job, husband, decent house, comfortable, stable, with children. But I do value and admire the fact that you want to travel the world, and life your life for you before you start living it for someone else. I am all for that. You should want to live your life to the fullest and do and see as much as you can while you can. You only live once, so you should definitely make sure that you stick to your plan. I have friends who feel exactly the same way as you. Some want to join the Peace Corps and do all the things that they wouldn't be able to if they had responsibilites like taking care of a family. And I believe anyone can be a good parent if they possess the certain qualities to be a good role model. If you can love, and care, and provide for your children, you will be a good father. And I believe that you will be whenever that time comes for you. Talking about starting families and what we want for our future can be a little scary, but it's coming and we should be prepared for it. Or have some sort of idea of what we want for ourselves. You seem to have it figured out and I hope you live out your life according to your own personal expectations. So while you're young, work hard and do all the things you can, if you meet someone that changes your path, then maybe it'll be a positive thing that you have to adjust your plans.
Ever since I was a little girl, I could not wait til I was old enough to have my own children. I was certainly one of those girls carrying around her baby doll and playing "Mommy" But of course, as you get older, you learn the effects of having children and begin to understand that it's just not as simple as pushing around a plastic child in a mini stroller. Now that I am 18 years old, I seem to have a hold on how I plan to live out my future. Certainly everyone wants and vaulues that picture perfect American idea of life. Married with children, white picket fence, big backyard, taking the kids to soccer practice on weekends and of course the annual family vacation. While those are things to look forward to, and maybe even hope for, I'm just eager to find out where life takes me. When I have children, I'm hoping that it's possible to keep everything natural. If complications arise, I would certainly not mind adopting. I think adoption is really great thing. I am not looking to be a mother anytime soon. My main goals are to become financially stable, happy with my career choice, and happily in love before I start a family. Having children changes everything. You are no longer just a daughter, a student, a girlfriend/wife: you're a mother. Taking on that new role is challenging, and I want to make sure that I get it right. I can't wait to see where life takes me.
Yep, your plan Is far more planned than mine. Guess that makes sense because I am a guy, and I don’t think guys think about this sort of thing nearly as much as girls. I also plan on waiting a while before having children, and that’s about all I have planned thus far. I haven’t even thought about names for the kids, where I want to live when I have children, or how many girls and boys I want. All I have is a pretty flimsy plan called later in life. I definitely haven’t though of how I want to give birth, mainly because it doesn’t apply to me at all, though, if it did I am sure I would have thought of that, and I am sure I will have to discuss that later on when I am married. By then I plan on being ready to settle down so the transition to parenthood should, hopefully, be relatively easy. Though, I know I will have to change some things about my lifestyle and give up a few things I enjoy because I will have to spend lots of time raising a child which will be even more enjoyable and rewarding. For now, I have a pretty loose plan, and hopefully my plans become more clear as I get closer to graduation and have a job lined up, but, for now, I am okay with having a very general plan to live by. Who knows what the future holds for me?
I don’t plan on having children for a while, and I don’t have a committed partner, so I guess I haven’t really thought about this at all. Mainly, I just want to travel around the world and visit places before I settle down, if I settle down. There are just other things I am more interested in at the moment, though, I suppose, if I meet the right person it could change my plans pretty quickly, but, for now, I don’t plan on having children anytime soon. Basically, having children would put a damper on my plans for my future which involves traveling quite a bit, and working hard. I haven’t put a whole lot of thought into this, but I feel that having a family would make doing some things impossible. For example, If I manage to get a job in Europe somewhere, I wouldn’t be able to simply pack-up and go there. I would probably have to turn down the offer, even if I really wanted the job. Once I get settled into an area, I would probably want children. I am sure it would change my lifestyle, but hopefully not all that much at that point in my life, down the road a ways. Hopefully I handle the situation well. I really don’t see why I would be bad at parenting, but if it turns out I am, I can always ask my parents for advice and guidance, but that is in the distant future, so I have a long time before I really need to figure out parenting.
I do plan on having kids one day but I hope that I am at least 25 before my first kid arrives. I don’t want to be older than 30 but I don’t feel a need to rush the situation. First I need to find the person that will have my child and hopefully that will be the person I marry. I want to have kids because I feel as if they bring joy. Its true that it is a hassle but I want to feel that love that my parents feel for me. I would have kids the old fashioned way but if for any reason that was not possible then I wouldn’t have a problem trying other ways. Adoption would also be a choice because I could be a father to a child even if that child isn’t mine. This would be a decision id have to make in the future but for the moment I don’t have anybody that is potentially a wife. I still think it’s to early for that. Having kids does change everything and I feel that my lifestyle would change. I’d have to become more responsible and have to sacrifice some things especially while the child is still an infant. I don’t know how I would manage parenthood but I would try my best and use the ways my parents brought me up as a guiding tool. It would be hard having a child but I think one day I will be up to the challenge.
I find it so bizarre that you ever had the idea of not getting married. It just seems so natural for people to be in relationships. I guess I want children so badly someday that I never really looked in another perspective, such as yours, where getting married and having children may tie you down. After reading your blog, it actually made me think twice about my plans, because I would love to travel the world and see all the amazing places Earth has. My committed partner and I both desperately want to travel the world that I never really gave thought to how a baby would affect that. Like others who have responded to your blog though, you could always bring your child with you. Children don’t have to get in the way of your wishes. Being independent is a good thing, but having children and getting married won’t take away from that; you can still be the independent person you are. Having a baby definitely requires a lot of planning, and like you, I would want an all-natural birth, but with a lot of pain killers. It is also very important to be able to support your child; you have another life to take care of and it requires a lot of responsibility, so of course having children changes your life. I’m glad the idea of children is growing on you; giving life to someone is a beautiful thing to consider. And adopting could be another thing for you to think about. Get married and have children and share your adventures; you could experience them as a family.
Interesting - a lot of them say yes they want kids, after doing some other things. I think a lot of people say that, but a lot of them don't because of accidental pregnancies. Out of most everyone I knew, no one said they wanted to just marry the first person out of high school and start having kids, never leave their hometown, etc - but guess how many did?
I also notice a couple of them state things like everyone wants this eventually, it's natural, etc.
And while they are thinking about it, none of them stand out as REALLY thinking about it. They still seem to be the types that feel, "Everyone does it and I will too" sort of attitudes. But I love the idea and that you have them thinking about it. Would love to read more.
I've always strived for just the "mediocre idea of life". 9-5 job, husband, decent house, comfortable, stable, with children.
God that is such a depressing statement to me. The idea that someone receiving an education would openly admit that she wants to be mediocre is sad. No drive to achieve, no drive to succeed, just to live a bland life.
Worse -- the idea that because it's stable it's "mediocre". I have a job, a great husband, a lawn to mow, dishes to wash, and things like that -- but I think life is great! Maybe I'm not curing cancer, but I imagine those who DO try to cure cancer have very mundane lives of checking this batch and that batch, writing down long formulas, and publishing in appropriate journals -- boring!
Depressing responses. I love this gem: "Children don't have to get in the way of your wishes." YEAH RIGHT. That's the attitude that is going to raise the next generation - I can have kids and still go out and run around and take vacations while my kid has a babysitter or is babysat by the TV or the computer or the Nintendo. All substitutes for real parenting. These parents won't bother parenting because they don't want to change their lives when kids come around. Sigh.
I'm glad you are doing this.
I wish a teacher did this when I was 20 or so.
When i went back to community college I took a women's health class and my research paper was about the childfree option. The prof was impressed and we had a class discussion about the subject(she was CF herself).
I did this because I was inspired by being a member of this group. I thought, "What the hell can I do to raise awareness?" and this is what I came up with.
Okay, next batch!
Keep in mind some of these are responding to one another, and they're not in any particular order. Also, we don't correct these. They're just an opportunity to keep writing all week, out of class.
Having children is always thought about, whether it be not having children, or having them. In my case, I have always longed for children. I love that feeling of being depended on or always being there for someone to talk to and share everything with; I would love to have this sort of special connection with my child, or children. I would definitely, definitely, want to be married whenever I plan on having children and able to support them. I’m not really sure how many children I want, but I know for sure that I want to have a boy; even if I had a girl instead though, I would love her fully. I plan to give birth the common way, in a hospital. Of course I would want a lot of pain killers or whatever they are able to prescribe me so that I don’t feel as much pain. I don’t want to use in-vitro fertilization or to have a “test-tube” baby, it seems so unnatural and alien-like for a baby to grow and develop that way. Although, if me or my husband had difficulties making a baby, I would use in-vitro fertilization to help assist us in the reproduction; whatever it takes. Also, I think adopting is an amazing idea; I would love to give a child the love and care they deserve. I do have a committed partner and we discuss this type of stuff about kids all the time, but never going too far into detail. However, we both think Zeek would be an awesome name, short for Ezekiel, for a boy. I have blue eyes and I want a child who does too, might be a little difficult seeing as my partner has green eyes. If I have a boy, I want him to be a sports fanatic and play soccer and baseball, but maybe I’m thinking too far ahead. And of course having a baby changes everything.
That would be really fun to have twins! To dress them up and all! But that would be so much work. I would want to have a boy and a girl too at least just to have a good balance. I never really thought of any other way of having children other than the old fashioned way, but I guess if you have complications, that would be the next step to have children.
I think that your plan is very smart, waiting until you have your career all settled out and stable. That’s what I would do as well. We see too many couples today getting divorced over money problems and that is not something I would want to go through especially with kids.
That’s very true that having a plan is important. I think to some extent, people need to think about their future and whether or not having children will be a part of their lives. Having kids does change your life whether you like it or not, but the way they deal with it is important. I think that when I have kids they will change my life for the better because I will learn how to be a good mom and be a more responsible adult. I think that children change people in good ways; it’s cheesy but you see on t.v. all these celebrities who once were the party child or wild child and you see them ten years later with children and they’ve become better people for their children.
I also would like twins, I do not have to have them though. I want the same kind of twins, the boy and a girl. I have always wanted a twin brother so I think that has something to do with it. I also do not want kids till I’m older and have a stable career. My mom and dad had me when they were thirty and I think that is a good age. Not only do I want a couple years with just my husband and I, I also want a stable well paying career. I think before anyone has kids they should have a stable job or a steady income. My worst nightmare is to become the stay at home mom. I will also expect my husband to be help with the baby. The work will be divided equally. I know things will not be perfect or easy but I am excited for the experience.
I have thought about having children sometime in the future. It would be really nice to have children who you can create a family with and pass down your traditions. Even when I was little I would play with baby dolls and pretend to be the mommy. Actually, my mom was pregnant just last May and now I have a younger brother who is a year and a half old. I think having him around has made me become a lot more mature and responsible. I am pretty much the “second mother”, since I babysit him very often. But also having him around reminds me of how much work babies are. It’s very demanding and they need a lot of care; I want kids but right now is not the right time. If I were to have kids I would want them the old fashioned way, but I’m afraid that it’s going to hurt, a lot. Hopefully it’s not as painful with today’s technology, or maybe I won’t have to remember! Adopting always sounded like a really nice thing to do, but I am not sure if that’s something I would want to do, maybe after my children are older I would think about adopting. I have a committed partner but we just joke around about the distant future, we are still young and do not want to complicate our lives right now. Also, if we were going to get married and have kids, I would want to wait until after we had stable jobs and a good income.
I think I would be an old fashioned mother, even though I think I won’t because my mom is pretty strict. I think that some of her will rub off on me some day. I think that children will change me in some way, because having a child is a lot of work and it will force you to grow up. If not that, you will learn many new things about parenting and teaching your children. So, I do think that kids will change you in some way but it could be for the better.
I agree with the having twins thing, I'd love to get it over with all in one bang! I never wanted to have any medical help but in the chance of conceiving twins I've considered it. I think every mother has that natural feeling that there never going to have complications getting pregnant, I mean its run across my mind, but I never really made a plan if I was to not be able to have children. I mean of course there’s adoption or having another women have a child for you, but that just doesn’t seem personal enough. I want to have my own children and I want to be able to say yea, he/she has my eyes, and nose, and her daddy’s lips and dimples.
I do agree that everyone has to change their lifestyle when they have kids, and I think that scares me more than actually giving birth. Everything will change once you have children, it’s like you get this cute ball of joy, but on the other hand, there goes your social life. Maybe I’ll just have to tell my best friend when it’s time for both of us to have kids, that way we can have play dates and not feel too cooped up at home all the time. I’m also not looking forward to the 3am mornings of the baby crying, rolling over to get out of bed so I can go feed the baby.
But good luck! Sounds like you got it all planned out.
I think a lot of people are in the same situation that you are in where they are very independent and don’t want to get married or have children or do any of that. Then it starts to grow on them and they start to accept it all and think about what it would be like. I know every time I see little kids I am always like “Awww I can not wait to have kids, they are so cute!” and then I am like “Oh wow I am totally not ready for this!” I think it is great that you want to be able to travel and have an adventure of your own but don’t forget that if you are stable enough in life you can still travel and share those adventures with your kids as well. Thats only when you finally have them though. I think that your plan is a pretty good one because plans do change and thats ok. I know I do not want to have any unplanned kids because I don’t think I will be ready for an unplanned kid. I need to make sure I have my kids at the right time in my life so they do not have to suffer. My parents I hope thought it was worth it as well even though my brother and sister were unplanned and I was the only planned child. They managed to make it through life while still having fun and being able to do the things they dreamed of and I am sure you will be able to as well.
I think this is a great idea-having your students actually think about what they want in life rather than just going through life mindlessly and doing what everyone else does. I feel like my generation lacks insight, and applaud you for encouraging to reflect on their own goals and values.
Next batch!
Check out the planned names in the top one.
Well I want to have 2 kids for start, and I have already picked names. I want a girl named Luna Raven and a boy named Valentine Jagger (VJ for short). I have a boyfriend and we have talked about it, but I don’t see me staying with him long enough to have kids with. I want to finish college and have a few years in a career before I settle down to have kids, I’ve estimated an age to be about 25, but of course I don't want to get married until after I’m 20.
I actually plan to have a mid wife, having an at home birth sounds way better than an in hospital, something about the relaxed environment sounds soothing. I also refuse in any way to have a C-section. I know now it’s “all the rage” to have a c-section and a tummy tuck all in one, but I know the hormones in child birth aren’t released and the mother doesn’t have the connection to her baby, like she would in regular child birth.
I want to do anything but be a stay home mom though, I plan to have a physics carrier and manage a child; I want to be the typical working mom.
Also I would never dream of having a child anything but the old fashion way, I don’t want artificial insemination, and I don’t want to have a “baby daddy”, I want to be happily married and have normal non medical experiment babies.
One of my life goals, I guess you could call it that, is to have children. I want to have kids and I really do not know how to explain why. I just really want to have some in the future. I want to experience parenthood and with someone I love. It is just something I have always wanted to do. I’m a big kid at heart and that side of me I guess in a way wants to play and have fun. I would like to become a parent the old fashion way. Their is just that fascination and connection you have when you hold your own baby. Someone you and your partner has created. I guess I really do not know how that feel, but I can imagine. Plus the way my parents explain it to me, its something worth experiencing. I would want two kids and I would also like to adopt one. There are so many children without homes that I want to help someone and make them happy. When it comes to relationships I do not normally bring the kid subject up till way later, if it gets serious. I do not want a baby for a long time but you never know if the person you are currently seeing may be the one you marry. My last relationship, we both wanted kids. I think making that choice is life changing. You have new responsibilities and you can’t always put yourself first. There are going to be sacrifices and they should be worth it. If you can’t make sacrifices then don’t have kids. In the end, I think its for the better.
I am a very independent person as well always wanted to travel and such before settling down. Although I am the exact opposite. I would always picture myself with children and my dream job with a husband. Just because you have a family doesn’t mean you cant travel and have fun. You are just responsible for another life in the mean while. Of course just like you said they are yours for 18 years at the least. So you have to be responsible and have job security to be able to support your family. I would not want an unplanned pregnancy either. It is best to plan out and sit down with your partner so there are no surprises. I think the biggest reason couples break up after an unplanned pregnancy is the shock or surprise factor. It freaks them out because they are not ready so the first thing they think of is to leave. I do think that your life will change after you have children. Whether it is one, two or more children it will change no matter how hard you try. It is inevitable and you have to adjust your life to fit the needs of your children and embrace your new lifestyle. It doesn’t have to be dull you can make it fun. Just make plans or set schedules for family nights or go on vacations together. Just keep you plan in mind that you have, a plan is the best way to start off.
Planning will only get you so far in life. There is no perfect plan for anything, nothing truly goes as planned. There will always be that one factor that seems to set everything off track. It is always good to make a plan though because a plan is better than nothing. Having formulated a plan also means you put thought some true thought into whatever it is your doing.
I love children, always have and always will. I know some people cannot stand them but I love them in their entirety. The ups and the downs and watching them grow and develop. I baby-sit a lot and I am also a certified preschool teacher. I can teach in any preschool in Florida if I choose to. I spent a lot of time in a high school class where we literally ran a preschool and taught little kids. It just made my day every time I stepped into that classroom and saw those children.
I would love to have children later in life. I don’t really have to think about that now because I am not in a serious relationship and I am in no way ready right now. I want to finish school and get into my job to wear I will have security. I would like to have two children, the old fashioned way. I would love to have one boy and one girl but I will love them just the same no matter the outcome. Children change everything no matter what people say, you have to adjust your whole lifestyle. Although children may change everything it doesn’t mean it has to be for the worse. I have my planned even though nothing ever goes as planned, I am ready for whatever comes as me.
Unlike you, children were never on my mind. I’ve never really even considered having them until recently, and even now I’m not 100% sure, I’m not even 90% sure. That’s really cool that you have wanted them for a while though. That reminds me of my best friend. For as long as I can remember, she’s said all she wanted in life was a family. I agree though, having a stable career is very, very important. Children cost a lot, and its not just a one time deal, once you have children, you continue to pay for them until you die. If I were to have children, I would also want them to be natural born. Although, I’m not so sure how I feel about twins. It could be a blessing and a curse. But, I guess that’s how it always is. I do however, want both a girl and a boy, probably cause that’s how my family is as well. I want an even number of children though, so there is no only child or middle child. I’m glad you think changing your lifestyle for children is worth it. It is good that you recognize that. I don’t think that everyone does, and then having a child comes as a shock. Planning everything out is the best way to go about starting a family. Although, I’m sure once you have the child itself, not everything will go according to plan, but still, its better then having no plan at all.
All through my life, I’ve never wanted children, or to get married. I was way to independent for such things. I didn’t want to be tied down; I wanted to be able to work, travel, go out when I wanted, and I wanted to be in control of my own life. It’s not until recently that I have started to consider other ideas. The idea of getting married isn’t so repulsing anymore. The idea of children is still growing on me. If I do have them, it wont be until later in life, after I have had adventures of my own. Also, before I have children I want to make sure that my husband and I are financially sound. Hopefully, if I decide to have children, it will be all-natural. Except, I want painkillers, lots of them. I want to have the baby myself, I just don’t want to have to feel it. I do not have a committed partner so talking to him about it would be rather difficult. However, when I do, and we are married, It will take a lot of planning. I don’t want to have an accidental baby, I want to have talked about it, and discussed it, in lots of detail, before I decide to pop one out. I believe children do change your life: they become your life. Well, they are your life for 20 years until they have lives of their own. You can’t just assume your life will continue the same way once you have them. But, I’m sure it is all worth it. My parents obviously thought it was worth it, or else I would not be sitting here writing this blog.
I have always thought about having children, how many I would have and when I would have them, but I was never sure if my plan would follow through. I really want to have children in the future when I am completely done with school and have been in my career for at least two years. This is because I want to be able to support my child and if I have a stable job then I should be able to take maternity leave and not have to worry about losing my job. I really want to have them the old-fashioned way because I don’t think I will have any problems getting pregnant when I plan on doing so. If it turned out that I could not get pregnant then I would try a different way, but I have not thought that far ahead because I don’t think I will have a problem. It is a dream of mine to have twins that turn out to be a boy and a girl that way I can get it done once with less pain and torture. This is a crazy idea, but my grandma is a twin so someone has to have twins right? If I do not end up having twins I plan on trying three times to get both a boy and a girl and then stop. I do not have a committed partner so I have not had to have this discussion, but I do have it all planned out for when I do need to have that talk. I think I will manage parenthood very well since I have it planned out very well. Everyone will have to change their lifestyle once they have a child, but it will be such a great experience worth changing for. I know my lifestyle will change for the better and I will enjoy every minute of it. Thats also why I am having kids so late so that I am more prepared and have a plan rather than it being a surprise. I know this is a lot and not many people have such a great plan as me, but when your the one giving birth you really need to plan ahead.
I love this one:
Quote:I’m a big kid at heart and that side of me I guess in a way wants to play and have fun.
This person has no idea what it means to be a parent. Um, honey your fun days are over once you have a kid. Time to grow the fuck up.
Idiot.
It was news to me that having a caesarian plus tummy tuck all in one package is all the rage.
(11-21-2009 10:28 AM)NKBurlington Wrote: [ -> ]I love this one:
Quote:I’m a big kid at heart and that side of me I guess in a way wants to play and have fun.
This person has no idea what it means to be a parent. Um, honey your fun days are over once you have a kid. Time to grow the fuck up.
Idiot.
I'll bet you any money it was a male who wrote that knowing that it would be the Kodak moments that he'd experience such as playing catch with his son or setting up the electric train set. The guys just figure the mom will do all the scut work.
(11-21-2009 04:44 PM)Eddy Wrote: [ -> ]I'll bet you any money it was a male who wrote that knowing that it would be the Kodak moments that he'd experience such as playing catch with his son or setting up the electric train set. The guys just figure the mom will do all the scut work.
Oddly enough, that was a woman. And I agree, it IS odd.
Damn, good thing I didn't bet real money on that. I'd have never guessed it was a woman. Maybe she expects to be a SAHM with the walking wallet to give her everything. I rail against work all the time but somehow I'd hate to have to depend on another person for my living expenses.
Another batch!
Stephanie, I am glad you are excited to have kids. I am very excited to have kids also. Kids are a gift from God and it is a privilege to be a parent. I am glad I don’t have to birth the child, and if I were you, I would want all the drugs possible to not feel as much pain. If I’m not able to have kids, I would definitely go the adoption route. I can’t wait to be a dad. I like how you said that if you have more than the number of planned children, then you would still welcome them with open arms. I am happy for you that you have found such a good boyfriend. It is hard to find a partner out there, especially this young in life.
I haven’t found the right one yet, but when I do, it will be special and I would like to discuss having kids. It is one of the major topics of discussion before taking the next step and getting married. I don’t think major changes will be necessary to have kids. I will make sure my partner and I have us, and our lives straightened out before considering the right time for kids. I want to be a good dad and teach my kids the right way to live life and to dream big. The sky is the limit here in America. It will be neat to be able to spend time with them like my parents did with me.
Stephanie, I’m surprised about how eager you are to have children. I know that if I were a woman, I wouldn’t be excited about pregnancy at all. It seems horrible. Cramps, nausea, mood swings, weight gains, and then the actual birth must be really hard to deal with. But then again, you get a kid to take care of and love for the rest of your life. So it’s definitely worth it. I agree with you on some things though. I said in my blog too that everything you do and say as a parent effects how your child will develop. The old-fashioned is the way to go, definitely, unless a medical problem makes it impossible. I think altering the genetics of your child is messed up, too. A big part of the excitement of having a baby is its appearance. If you already know what he or she will look like, it doesn’t seem as exciting. As I said in my blog, I haven’t had the chance to talk to a potential wife about this matter. I would only have kids if I was absolutely sure that it would be with the woman I intend to spend my entire life with. But it seems that in the present day, it is becoming harder and harder to find people who can make that kind of commitment. People change more and more as time advances. I would never want my children to go through what I went through, and I would never want to experience firsthand what my parents had to deal with.
Gavin, you want your wife to be a stay at home mom? I understand that you would want her to stay home for the first couple of months, maybe even years, but once your children start going off to school, where will she end up? Being a mom is a full, hands-on job in itself, but thousands of women are able to balance work and motherhood. It’s been done before. Plus, do you plan to be a doctor? You will be needing a high-paying job in order for your wife to be able to stay home and live a decent life. With the economy the way it is, it might be harder for that to happen.
Do you think you could be they stay at home parent? I mean, it’s not rare for dads to stay home and take of the children while moms go out and make the income? I think it would be interesting to see you playing the opposite role.
I really liked what you said about how it’s a balance: alone time and spending time with your kids. It is indeed something that most married couples have trouble doing. That’s why I want to wait a year or two alone with my future husband so that I will be able to remember what it was like before my children came into my life and took over.
I do believe you will be a great role model for your children. I can definitely see you having children and playing ball outside with them. Having little Gavin’s running around makes me laugh!
Dr. Z, I have always known I was going to be a mother when the time came. I want to have children so bad. Just knowing that these kids were made from me and are going to be living inside of me for their first nine months of their lives is thrilling. Everything I do, everything I tell them, will impact them and will affect the way my children are going to be brought up and living their lives in the future.
I do plan to have my children the old fashion way. No “test-tube babies” or altering their hair or eye color. I want them to come out the way God originally planned for them. If I can’t have children, I would be devastated but it wouldn’t stop me from being a mother. I would adopt and treat as if they came from my womb. Birthing, I want all the drugs possible. As much as I love the experience (or so I think), pain is not something I can handle and I want to be drugged up for the last few hours of my pregnancy.
I do have a committed partner and we discuss the possibility of children all the time. We both want children when we get married and when the time is ready. We want at least three children but no more than five. But, if it happens, we’ll take them all with open arms and hearts.
Since I know I’ll be having children, I don’t think it’ll affect my future lifestyle. I’m not a workaholic, alcoholic, or drug addict so my lifestyle is pretty good for a baby. Both my boyfriend and me want children (as stated earlier) and we are going to create our lives so that when the time comes, major changes won’t have to be made.
Keri, your blog was so sweet and cute. I was smiling through the whole thing. Like you I want kids within the next 8 years. I just want a career first so I can support my kids with everything and not have to constantly worry about money. I want two kids as well but I want one boy and one girl..the girl so I can dress her up and have that mother daughter bond that I have with my mom and a boy so I can put him in lots of sports and so my future husband can teach him all the manly stuff. Just like you when I am ready I want kids the old fashioned way. That’s the way I think it was meant to be though I would consider adopting if something went wrong because I really do want kids. I am sorry about your three year relationship ending. I have been in one for almost two years now but we have never really talked about kids except for joking around and picking baby names. But we have had no serious talks on that topic. Just like you I think I would be a good mom. My mom is amazing and I want to be just like her though I know I could never be like her. I also couldn’t agree with you more about children are meant to change your life. I feel the exact same way. If you are ready for that responsibility and to build a family I don’t think life could bring better happiness than that.
Wow - these are fascinating. What is the median age of the respondents?
(11-22-2009 09:47 AM)NKBurlington Wrote: [ -> ]Wow - these are fascinating. What is the median age of the respondents?
Probably 18 or 19.
Oh - that explains a lot
Well, I hadda start somewhere!
Check THIS out. This writer didn't participate in the "having kids" forum, but he sure got into "controversial topics"!
I have had my share of this topic and it really gets at me in some cases. I believe abortion is an opportunity for someone who has made a big mistake to have a second chance at their life. My sister has recently had a baby this month and she just turned seventeen in march. I was furious when she was pregnant because it seemed as if she did not want to go to college and make something of herself, it seemed as if she was trying to grow up too fast. I believe that men and women will always have different opinions on the subject of abortion and personally I fully support abortion but of course before the development stage. I wanted her to get an abortion because I felt that she was too young to care for a child and so did my mother and father. this stopped my sister from going to a noble university and instead of pursuing her career in nursing, now she just sits home all day and says she will just go to community college soon. This is how it all starts. some people may think otherwise but you have no life once you have a child. Most parents I know have had other intentions for a career prior to pregnancy and after having the child they have resulted to something of less success and of course less money. I say if you have the option of abortion you should go through with it because a child makes doing what you desire in the future twice as hard
Aside from the horrendous spelling, punctuation and grammar issues, the opinions are well-reasoned and interesting to read.
(11-21-2009 04:07 PM)noelle Wrote: [ -> ]It was news to me that having a caesarian plus tummy tuck all in one package is all the rage.
My friend's daughter had this done. The plastic surgeon was present during the caesarian and took over once it was done.