We Kid You Not Childfree Forums

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Wow, children are so hard to deal with. Whenever I have to baby-sit my little cousins I dread it even though I find them adorable. They are such a handful though and I am always on my feet when I am babysitting. However I do love kids and one day when the time is right I would love to have children. I want a boy and a girl. But I want to wait until I have a career and I can support them. I know I would love being a mother and I want a family and that’s why I want kids.
I really want to have kids the old fashioned way. However God forbid if something went wrong I think I would consider adopting though I haven’t thought that far ahead for my future.
I do have a boyfriend that I have been for almost two years however I do not talk about having kids or marriage with him. I am only 18 and I feel I am way to young to think about those kind of things but obviously once I am ready or if I wanted kids I would talk to him or whoever my committed partner may be at the time.
I truly believe that kids change everything. It is such a big responsibility that I don’t think most of us teenagers could handle. There is no way I could have a child now and keep my current lifestyle. I don’t even know if I could stay in school. I would probably have to get a full time job and support my child. But obviously if I have kids when I have a career and I have a husband and am making money it won’t be as hard though I’m sure my lifestyle would still change.



I also want to have 2-3 kids. I want to be the best mom I can be. I also look forward to teaching my kids different things. I hope their dad spends lots of time with them and teaches them to play sports. I want to have 2 girls and one boy the traditional way. But if my health does not permit it, I will definitely adopt children. I would love to give a new home to a child that has been in an orphanage. I would raise the child as if he or she were my own and shower them with lots of love. I also think that having children is a blessing. It definitely changes a person’s life. It teaches you to balance everything including work, time spent with children and household activities. I agree with you about spending time alone as a couple as well as with the children. I feel that one of the hardest things after having a baby is going to be spending time with my husband since there will be so much to do with the kids. I think the best thing about becoming a parent is that you get to learn new things. Having children will teach you things you cannot learn any other way. The best part about having kids is that sometimes they seem real cute when they look like you. It also makes photography options nearly endless. Just like you, having kids is very important to me. I also want to be a mom just like my mom. I always want to be there for my kids, supporting them in every way.



I absolutely love children. One of the things that I have always wanted since I was younger was to have a family. I always liked the concept of starting a family and having a baby grow inside you. I don’t know why but having a family is one of my passions. I want no more than three kids, but if life gives me more, that is fine too. Of course, I would like to have them naturally but if my health or body doesn’t allow it, then I will consider adoption or in-vitro fertilization. I would prefer adoption though because there are so many children who don’t have families.
I do have a significant other and we have been together for four years now. I know we are still young but I have mentioned marriage and family to him. We have discussed about having children, probably three, when we are financially stable. I know that parenthood is extremely difficult, especially when you want more than one child and I know that they will change every aspect of my lifestyle. Because of this, financial stability and a stable career is my top priority before starting a family. I would really like to have all of my children before I am 32 so that by the time I am 50, they would be in or going off to college (and yes, I have really thought extensively about this topic).
Dr. Z, I also agree with you on the fact that people don’t usually think about having a child until they are about to have one. I feel that this is really irresponsible and people should really think about the consequences before having intimate relationships.



This is a very simple topic to respond to because I am completely set on having children sometime in the next 5-8 years. Maybe even right after graduate school. I’m definitely not ready to go through the birthing process( I’m actually really scared about that), but I am definitely excited to have kids. I plan on having probably two kids and I’m not really picking on gender either I mean I would love to have girls, but if they are anything like how I was when I was growing up I don’t want girls… I just hope if I do have boys my future husband with be there to play ball with them and teach them boy things that I have no clue about. No futuristic techniques for me, when I am ready to have kids I will do it the old fashion way. I am definitely not a fan of futuristic, technologically advanced fertilization to have kids. I actually just got out of a three-year relationship, and even though we are still so young we had the same views on having kids and planned on it someday… I guess that’s not a key factor anymore. I feel, as far as parenthood goes, I have some pretty good genes when it comes down to it. My parents were amazing to me and I can only imagine what kind of parent I would be to my kids if I was only half of the parent my mom and dad were for me. Having children I believe is meant to change your life, but for the good, when your ready to have children that means your ready to build a family with the one you love, where your always doing something for someone other than yourself. I believe having children is a beautiful part of life and I just can’t wait until that part of my life comes around.

Here are the last few.

I loved Gavin response to this blog. It was so genuine and heartfelt. Sweet kid… shy, but sweet. =) Well I can agree with wanting 2-3 kids I’m kind of leaning towards the two just because I can’t imagine going through pregnancy and the birthing process three times in a row it hurts just thinking about it. I guess its different for guys because they don’t have to think that way they just pick a number and hopefully their wife has the same number in mind. Also, I have this fear about having three kids and that one of them might be left out or considered “the odd ball” because its an odd number, but its just one of my weird suspicions. I also agree that you should spend more time with the kids than with your spouse because once your ready to have children it should be because you have had enough time together and you want to start a family where all your time and devotion is spent to the family and not your spouse. One more thing in response to Gavin’s blog is my dad was the best role model in the world and same with my mom I just hope my future husband can match up to what my dad was for me and I can only hope that I am half the parent and role model that my mom was for me because if so my children will grow up the best they could be!



I would like to have 2 kids when I am older, one when I am 29 and one when I am 32. I think having kids pretty much complete your life. It’s a natural part of human existence. You pass on a part of yourself through your children. It would be really interesting to be a parent and to watch your children grow under your influence. I would have children the old-fashioned way. It doesn’t seem right using other methods. Adoption is another option if somehow my wife or I become infertile for any reason. I have not had the chance to discuss this with anyone I have been close to.
I think having kids changes everything. For at least 18 years after each one is born, they become part of your everyday life. So much time is devoted to caring for a baby. As a parent, I would be constantly thinking about them and what they are doing. I would constantly think about my actions as a parent, and think about how it would affect the thoughts and actions of my children. Everything from what they eat to what TV shows they watch to what examples their siblings set all influence how they will develop. Your childhood sets the foundation for the rest of your life. If you are not raised properly, you will have many things wrong with your adulthood. I think it is one of the goals of a parent to see their child grow up and be successful. It must be a great relief to know that your child no longer depends on you.



I plan to have children. I want to have 2-3 kids. I would like to have kids because I would like to be a dad and help them grow up and become the best they can be. I look forward to teaching my kids how to play sports, and spending a lot of time with them. I want to have them the old fashioned way and have sex and not these other techniques such as in-vitro fertilization. If I wasn’t able to have kids, I would consider adoption. Even If I am able to have kids, I might still consider adoption. I have a girlfriend and we have briefly said that we both want 2-3 kids. I will go to work, and maybe my wife will work too if she wants. I would like her to be a stay at home mom so that someone can be with the kids. This is a hard enough job as it is.
I think having children is a blessing. Yes, it will change your life, but it is for the better. It is a balancing thing, as in all things. You have to have time alone as a couple, but a lot of the time spent with the kids as well. I want to marry a girl that wants to have kids, because it is very important to me. I have always wanted to be a dad like my dad. He is the best dad anyone could ever have. It is important to be a good role model, and I want to be a role model for the kids that I may have.



I think kids are lots of fun to be around. I definitely plan on having children in the future. I love them so much and they are so cute and sweet. I come from a large family with lots of kids around. I have spent so much time with my younger cousins and even newborn babies. I want at least 3 children someday, but not until I have graduated from dental school and have a good career because I want to be able to support them with a stable financial income. I plan to have children after I am married and have settled down with my spouse and we are ready to have children the old-fashioned way. I do not have a committed partner, but when the time comes I’m sure I will discuss the matter of having children with him. Having children changes everything. There is a whole new human being that needs to be taken care of. You have to feed them, deal with dirty diapers, hold them so they don’t cry, play with them and teach them. All this requires lots of time and effort. Managing parenthood will not be easy, but it’s worth it in the end when you see your children all grown up. I’m sure that having children will completely change all my priorities. I also think that having kids will make the house seem livelier. Just the idea of play dates, birthday parties, sleepovers, toys and lots of noise makes the idea of raising children interesting and fun.

Okay, I need to respond to this one in particular...

Please brace yourselves for extreme sarcasm and bitterness.

"Well I want to have 2 kids for start,"

To start? So, you are just going to keep having babies until your uterus falls out?

"and I have already picked names. I want a girl named Luna Raven and a boy named Valentine Jagger (VJ for short)."

Where's the pukey smiley!?! I can hear the taunting from the school kids, now... Hey Va-JayJay, you're a pussified douchbag! Why don't you just name him Venereal Disease? (VD for short!)

"I have a boyfriend and we have talked about it, but I don’t see me staying with him long enough to have kids with. I want to finish college and have a few years in a career before I settle down to have kids, I’ve estimated an age to be about 25, but of course I don't want to get married until after I’m 20."

Okay, this isn't too bad of a plan. I see you've already planned to have children controlling your life even before they have been parasitically attached. So, at least you're prepared.

"I actually plan to have a mid wife, having an at home birth sounds way better than an in hospital, something about the relaxed environment sounds soothing."

Something about not having a medical doctor standing by incase of emergency complications sounds fatal.

Oh, and if you have any complications like prolonged labor or breech, you WILL be taken to the hospital.

"I also refuse in any way to have a C-section. I know now it’s “all the rage” to have a c-section and a tummy tuck all in one,"

1. If you are in labor for 14 hours, and you have an unusually large baby (say 9lbs.) and a small frame... that baby AIN'T coming out through your Va-Jayjay. The doc (yes, at this point you will have been sent to the hospital, and won't be all comfy at home with your "mid-wife") will tell you that if you continue in this way, you will kill your baby, and you will make the desicion to have a C-section of your own accord. I've seen it happen to a friend of mine, it can happen to you."

2. WHAT!!?!! You don't want to be in the HEIGHT of pregnancy fashion!?!

"but I know the hormones in child birth aren’t released and the mother doesn’t have the connection to her baby, like she would in regular child birth."

Soooooo.... does that mean if you have a C-section, you don't want the baby anymore? You're telling me that you wouldn't be able to connect with a baby that DIDN'T destroy your vagina?

"I want to do anything but be a stay home mom though, I plan to have a physics carrier and manage a child; I want to be the typical working mom."

Okay this isn't too bad I guess...... (pointing and laughing at spelling)

"Also I would never dream of having a child anything but the old fashion way, I don’t want artificial insemination, and I don’t want to have a “baby daddy”,"

And what if God decides that he doesn't want you to have children the "old fashioned way?" What if you or your DH are infertile? You wouldn't use the technology that God has also given us to provide you with a child? Somehow, I doubt you would want to adopt because you wouldn't be able to connect with it; you know, since it didn't rip out of your vagina and you don't get those "mother hormones."

"I want to be happily married and have normal non medical experiment babies."

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Alright, I'm better now.

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(11-20-2009 11:03 AM)catsnotkids Wrote: [ -> ]Depressing responses. I love this gem: "Children don't have to get in the way of your wishes."

This particular quote reminds me of this:
Woman put kids in trunk.

This:
The Walmart Crib

And this:
Man locks kids in trunk...

FUCK my kids!! I'm going SHOPPING!!!

And WE'RE "selfish" because we don't have any kids to abuse!

We should swap lesson plans sometime. My entire Comp I class's theme has been family choices for the last couple of years. I have made a lot of people reconsider when to have children and how difficult it will be. Some who already have them feel better about themselves because we use I'm OK, You're a Brat as our "controversial text" for the class, so they don't feel so bad about not having Kodakitis. Of course some people are enraged by it, but I figure it's good for them because it forces them to question why they feel that way. I don't necessarily want to discourage people from having children altogether, but I do want them to think carefully about it and know what they are getting into.

(12-02-2009 12:53 AM)dune67 Wrote: [ -> ]We should swap lesson plans sometime. My entire Comp I class's theme has been family choices for the last couple of years. I have made a lot of people reconsider when to have children and how difficult it will be. Some who already have them feel better about themselves because we use I'm OK, You're a Brat as our "controversial text" for the class, so they don't feel so bad about not having Kodakitis. Of course some people are enraged by it, but I figure it's good for them because it forces them to question why they feel that way. I don't necessarily want to discourage people from having children altogether, but I do want them to think carefully about it and know what they are getting into.

I can always send you my syllabus. but it's not "my" syllabus, it belongs to the FYC Directorate, which means I don't actually have to think or create anything. However, I do occasionally tweak stuff, and my teaching style is . . . eclectic.

Frankly, I found every one of these responses depressing. They are all so locked into the herd mentality of "breed, breed, breed!" Surely, there's just ONE childfree person in the class?

Don't get me wrong--I appreciate that you shared this--it's just that I did not see anything insightful in any of the responses, at all. They're all just determined that they're going to have kids, because it's "OMGjustthegreatestthingintheworld!" *eye roll*

Jen M.

EDITED for spelling.

I agree with you bittercat. It's really sad to see that such a major decision like having children is treated less seriously than as to which television you're going to buy. The one good thing is that thanks to the internet at least you aren't totally alone. I remember being a teenager long before the internet was a household utility like today and feeling so alone because nobody else had the CF thoughts I did.

This is a great lesson for a writing class because maybe it will get that one person who feels isolated to realize that they aren't the only one who doesn't want the "mediocre idea of life". God, that phrase is just so depressing to me.

Maybe, but that same person may be afraid to speak out, because the concensus is Breed, Breed, Breed! LOL!

I knew when I was 8 years old that I didn't want kids, but I don't recall discussing it with anyone until I was...late teens or something like that. I mean college.

Jen M.

FWIW, I know I had one CF kid in one class for sure, but she didn't owe any make-up work so she didn't have to do the assignment. But yeah, the rest haven't given it much practical thought at all. They always assume "everything will work out because it always does," neglecting the possibility that it may very well work out badly.

(12-02-2009 05:32 PM)Bittercat Wrote: [ -> ]Maybe, but that same person may be afraid to speak out, because the concensus is Breed, Breed, Breed! LOL!

I knew when I was 8 years old that I didn't want kids, but I don't recall discussing it with anyone until I was...late teens or something like that. I mean college.

Jen M.

Yes, I agree that speaking out in public is a lot more difficult, but with the internet it's easier. There are established communities where it's acceptable to be CF and you can wander there. In the real world you never know what people think until you say something.

Eslbee. I find it very amusing that the one CF kid didn't owe any make up work. That alone speaks volumes. LOL!

Eddy, that's true, but speaking for myself, I can say it's still sometimes difficult for me to speak up in mixed company, even online--that's not even just pertaining to my CF status. I'm shy. Always have been.

Jen

Hey that controversial writer is a smart person. He saying it like it is. I believe that most of these kids that think they are going to wait until (insert whatever reason these kids have written here) are going to end up with being a parent way sooner than they expected.

It is weird to read how they have this ideal idea about being a parent, but not many discuss what they think about how their parents raised them. It is like that all have these really great Norman Rockwell families, but in reality they are not. I think it is why most of them are saying they are going to wait, but like I said, I bet anything most of them will be parents fairly quickly because heaven forbid they have an abortion and stick to their plan.