So, this is going to be kinda long. If I don't make sense, please smack me.
So, you've seen the pics of my house to be surrounded by trees. The reason for that is my friends and I have a small community farm going. We're gradually working towards raising our own food as we don't want to support factory farms and big corporations. Yeah, we're weird like that. Anyway, that's not really the point of this thread.
Most of the time it works out. But periodically they'll say something though that gets my goat. baaaa ... See, the friends have a 2 year old daughter. Which, I actually don't mind her that much, and for the most part the friends try to be responsible parents. Though I really don't understand most of the things they babble on about.
However, the child has recently started calling ME "mama". Oh HELL no! I corrected her to say "aunt". And her dad said "don't take offence now". She ain't my daughter, I am not "mama". I think I've finally programmed the tike to say auntit (supposed to be Aunt Kit
) but I also think the dad is telling her to call me "mama". Yes, child has an actual mama and I am NOT it.
I think having your own community garden is wonderful. DH and I have no place to grow anything serious (just patio tomatoes and some lettuce, serrano peppers, and some very unproductive citrus trees in pots), so we joined a local CSA farm and get just-harvested organic fruits and veg every Monday from a drop-off point near our home.
Anyway, back to the subject. The people across the street from me are totally PNBs (responsible parents, not breeders) and they have a kid about 18 months old. One day we were outside chatting with them and the boy pointed at me and said, "Mommy!" really loud (because that's how kids talk--really loud), and I looked at the kid and said, "Oh, no way." The mom knows I don't like kids, but she's totally not offended by it, finds it amusing but takes it seriously, and she wasn't upset at all at my reaction. She laughed and corrected the kid and tried to get him to say my name. He's just at a point where he sees a woman and says "mommy" and he sees a man and says "daddy," in his mind he's just identifying "man" and "woman" the only way he's knows how right now with his limited vocabulary.
I'm sure the kid near you will soon be able to realize that there's only one "mama" in his life and the rest are just other women.
You would think the girl's real mother might be slightly miffed, esp if the dad is encouraging it.
Kudos on the community garden - that's terrific. We dug up our lawn this year and put in a small garden. We had a great yield of lots of veggies and are still enjoying the pumpkins.
Hopefully the kid will grow out of of it, as anastasia says. Sounds like it's a phase. I think it's fine to correct her to "aunt" as you are doing.
I agree, the community garden is awesome!!
Regarding your annoyance... I understand where you are coming from. I have had similar situations but I always gently correct the child. But keep in mind, she's only 2. And I feel like, in a two year old's mind, any positive female influence is "mama." My nephew (sister's son) who is now 3 used to call me mama by accident. I tried to correct it, gently. But I also have another sister who he didn't see as often and he would make the mistake of calling her by my name and me by her name.
Yes, it can be frustrating, but as she gets older, she will learn your proper name.
Now, as far as the parent, if I was a mother, I would gently correct my child as well, but not expect too much from them as they are only 2.
Yeah, littles sometimes just see a tall (in their eyes) female and call it "Mama".
Just keep working on her by gently saying, "No, Mama is over there working in the beans(or where ever) I am Aunt Kit. Can you say Aunt?" You may end up with an odd version, but then it won't be Mama.
Heck, I still have a friend's daughter who calls me Aunty. And she is 18 years old.
Ha, maybe the parents are thinking that the community part of gardening also spills over into community family too. Still..those are some tall shoes to fill when a little girl starts calling you mama. What is with him telling you not to be offended? Who knows, maybe the dad has a crush on you and thinks you would make a nice mama...LOL...No, really I am sorry that the dad seems to want to push the mama title on you, not a very nice thing to do. Auntie is way more appropriate.
(10-18-2009 09:37 PM)Koi Wrote: [ -> ]You would think the girl's real mother might be slightly miffed, esp if the dad is encouraging it.
You would think that, she just giggles though and says how cute ...
(10-19-2009 03:16 PM)Opilies Wrote: [ -> ]Ha, maybe the parents are thinking that the community part of gardening also spills over into community family too. Still..those are some tall shoes to fill when a little girl starts calling you mama. What is with him telling you not to be offended? Who knows, maybe the dad has a crush on you and thinks you would make a nice mama...LOL...No, really I am sorry that the dad seems to want to push the mama title on you, not a very nice thing to do. Auntie is way more appropriate.
They do think kinda along the lines of community family. Which is fine by me, however, I prefer the role of aunt than mama, hence the no kids of my own deal.
And eventually we do hope to have a few more families (traditional or non-traditional) join us up here, and further encourage the aunt/uncle or even grandma/gramps type releationships with whatever sproggen are attracted. Luckily, I'm putting a lock on my house door.
Privately, I suspect he does have ideas towards me that aren't brother-sister, but I'd kill him if he made a move. He's OK as a brother, not OK as a more, er, "personal" relationship. I don't know how open folks are on this board so I'm not sure how much to share!!
It is extremely hard to type with a 20 pound feline on my arms.