We Kid You Not Childfree Forums

I'm going tomorrow, anyone been?

I've never been. Please tell us how it goes - I'm curious about it!

I've done it. I found it exhausting to have the same conversation 20 times in a row, and three minutes isn't often long enough to get past the usual ice-breakers.

I've never been either and am anxious to hear all about it!

My sister is dating a guy that I really like (probably because he DOES NOT want kids), but my sister wants kids. I can't fully understand why she is with him if birthing his her ultimate goal. Maybe she will get smart and change her mind . He is 40 she is 34. He is not changing his mind about kids, I can tell you that much!

So, I feel as though she is still looking and maybe speed dating is something that she would do well with.

I have done it a few times. Like WonderWoman said, it is hard to have the same conversation multiple times. You forget who said what and completely lose track of people. That is why it was always nice when someone did something a little different. Instead of asking, "Hey, what do you do?" they would ask one of those questions like "What kind of animal are you?" or "What is your dream home?" Yes, sometimes those can be kind of silly too, but at least you remember them.

I did speed dating one time a few years ago. For me it was a total waste of time and money. I did not enjoy it. Almost all of the women I talked with were bombed. I don't know what they were thinking!

It cost $35 at that time and there were no drinks and no food; nothing!
During the "interviews" we were given cards to fill out and to write names that interested me. I did that and I'm sure all of the others did, too. If there was a match (both me and the woman were interested in each other), then I would have been notified by email. I did not get a single one.

I had the feeling that it was a scam. After that time, I left feeling exhausted, overwhealmed, and disillusioned. I think that Wonder Woman had it exactly right of what she said about speed dating.

I'm back!
It was fun, I plan to go again(unless I meet my Romeo in the next few weeks).

I met a friend beforehand and we walked to the place. It was held in a really quaint coffee shop with couches, fireplaces and all organic drinks and food. The women in charge were really energetic and sweet so that helped to calm our nerves.

I had 8 "dates" for 6 minutes each. I was really nervous about the first 3 and noticed at the end that I gave those guys the lowest scores. While there was no guy who really sparked my interest, I could see myself being friends with almost all of them(the women too). Really nice group of people.

At the end we all gathered around 1 fireplace and the ladies in charge began some discussions. This was kind of nice, though I wished we'd done this at the beginning as it led to questions (and potential ice breakers) about certain individuals.

Things I learned:

1) have a list of questions beforehand, not on paper, but practice in my head or with friends.
There were a few things that I forgot to ask such as finding out 1 guy I liked had a month old Kid! I learned this at the end from another woman.

2) RELAX! They are normal people like me.

3) Take good notes after each date.
My friend didn't take a single note and mine stunk. For one guy I wrote that he was an engineer and liked dirt bikes. WTF? Why did I write such idiotic details, I can't even remember what he looked like! Gah!

4) Pin my hair back or wear a headband.
I wore it down and it was in my face the entire time. Seems silly, but it was super annoying and I couldn't focus on my dates.

5) be bold, if I'm interested in a guy, tell him right then.
I saw one couple exchange phone numbers right there, and they guy very dramatically crossed off the names of every other girl he had already written down as a yes(possibly me?).

6) tell other single people to give it a go.

Wow Lindsay - great report. It sounds like a really successful trip for you and a great group of people/person running it. I hope you meet someone next time.

I've always thought it would sound like something I'd like to try. Crystalfire went, and she invited me to go with her, but the month we went it was something called a 'key party' (where men got a key and women got a lock, and it was supposed to be some kind of icebreaker thingy) and I didn't care for that much. I would prefer to have 5 minutes of undivided time, and I tend to make a good first impression.

I'm glad you liked it! I might try it someday, who knows. I remember around here, the age breakdowns were also weird, and I fell into the younger category, which I didn't care for. I really don't think I have much in common with 20-somethings.

I can easily imagine how mine would go, I could eliminate pretty much every guy off the bat: "Are you CF?" that would weed out about 98%, then "Are you a right winger?" that would check off quite a few. Then: "Do you do drugs? Yes, even the pot. Do you get drunk?" which would weed out everyone else. My speed dating sessions would be done in 20 seconds.

My pre-screen would have to be fairly detailed.
I can't imagine getting much of a match at a sampling of 10 partners.

Starting screening questions:
Are you child-free?
Are you in any way religious?
Do you consider yourself a liberal?
Are you a smoker/drug taker/alcohol drinker?

(10-16-2009 08:51 PM)cassia Wrote: [ -> ]My pre-screen would have to be fairly detailed.
I can't imagine getting much of a match at a sampling of 10 partners.

Starting screening questions:
Are you child-free?
Are you in any way religious?
Do you consider yourself a liberal?
Are you a smoker/drug taker/alcohol drinker?

Oh, yes, I left out religious and smoking! Your list is my list.

Glad you had a good time Lindsay.. If this had been availabe to me back in my day, I would have tried it too.
But I will keep the one I already snagged, lol

After 24 years of marriage and if he is still willing to put cream
(RX Not whipped, lol) on your ass, then you know you got a soul mate for life,

I GOT TWO MATCHES!!!!!!!!!

Date tomorrow with one of them, and I still need to contact the other guy(or I may let him contact me). Dane Cook the comedian is going to be in town next week and I was planning to go, so hopefully 1 of them will be interested in joining me.

I'm glad you had a good time and were able to find two matches.

Like Jo mentioned, I have been to a few different types of singles events. The lock and key party is a different way of doing things, where you have to take some initiative in talking to different people. You also have to be okay with a lot of strange people being in your personal space. But Speed Dating is more structured and you are sort of forced into meeting and speaking with each guy there.

I always looked at it as a night out in itself, so if I didn't match with anyone, I wasn't devastated or anything. They can be fun if you always try to look at it that way.

Good luck on your dates!

Congratulations, Lindsay!! That's really terrific. You must have made a very good first impression. I hope the dates go well.

Jo/Crystalfire - when you mentioned the lock/key party I was thinking about that party in The Ice Storm where the women go home with the men whose keys they choose out of the bowl. Times were a bit different then!

(10-17-2009 02:53 AM)Lindsay Wrote: [ -> ]I GOT TWO MATCHES!!!!!!!!!

Date tomorrow with one of them, and I still need to contact the other guy(or I may let him contact me). Dane Cook the comedian is going to be in town next week and I was planning to go, so hopefully 1 of them will be interested in joining me.

CONGRATS Lindsay, I hope all goes well with you and your dates.
Have a good time, but, please be careful too.

Back from my first date, it went well, we're going out again on Tuesday. The other guy and I are going out tomorrow.
Speed dating rules!

LOL that is awesome!!!! Was it with the guy who liked dirt bikes?? LOL JK!

That's awesome. Good for you. I hope date #2 goes well.