Has everyone seen this yet?
http://www.boingboing.net/2009/10/14/ral...res-p.html
It was on the morning news shows today. The link has a picture of the ad where she was photoshopped to look insanely thin.
I think this story is of great interest to many women - at the gym today in the locker room every woman in there was glued to the TV - and that never happens - no one usually pays any attention.
Ralph Lauren fires photo-chopped model for being too big
Filippa Hamilton, the model who Ralph Lauren's ad people crudely photoshopped, is looking for work. Ralph Lauren fired her, she said in an appearance on NBC's Today show this morning, due to her inability to fit into his clothes.
She's 5'10" and 120 lbs.
NY Daily News has a statement from the company:
Polo Ralph Lauren said in a statement Tuesday night that Filippa is a "beautiful and healthy" woman but their relationship ended "as a result of her inability to meet the obligations under her contract with us.
In the same piece, reported by Carrie Melago, her lawyer says that he fears Ralph Lauren's treatment of Hamilton "will be extremely damaging to her."
(10-14-2009 10:28 AM)catsnotkids Wrote: [ -> ]Polo Ralph Lauren said in a statement Tuesday night that Filippa is a "beautiful and healthy" woman but their relationship ended "as a result of her inability to meet the obligations under her contract with us.
So, apparently Ralph Lauren is trying to market to bulimic and anorexic people as well as the skeletal remains skinny people.
This just shows the insanity of the fashion world. A woman approaching 6 feet and weighing 120 pounds? There is something very wrong when she is considered fat. Marilyn Monroe would never be in the running because she's apparently a size 16 in the fashion world and yet even I recognize her as being a very attractive woman. Fashion is just messed up anymore.
Unbelievable!
Our looks/weight/fitness obsessed society is so out of control. People only become obsessed and preoccupied with something when they hear how "right' or "wrong' something is...over and over and over.
60% of American women wear a size 12 and over. Yet they are still openly discriminated against. Discriminating someone because of their weight is still allowed in this society and is alive and well. I mean, if that model was fired because of the color of her skin or a disability, etc...well, she wouldn't be fired because all hell would break loose over that and there would be a huge lawsuit!
I was watching the show Shark Tank last night and a women came out to introduce her line of plus-size clothing. One of the asshole men on the panel said something like, "Are bigger women really interested in how they dress or look?" (something along that line) and the woman on the panel ripped him a new one. Seriously.
I told DH that the reason a lot of heavier women appear to not take interest in their clothing is because they cannot find the proper fitting clothing in the first place.
My mom has always been obese. I remember her always wearing black or brown polyester pants with the perma-crease down the front. She always wore these ghastly blouses...like the plus-size industry just purchased the close-out material and made the clothes with that.
Now my mom looks like a million bucks! She shops for her clothes at Nordstroms and Macy's. She looks so chic and modern now. She can wear cute shoes because they come in extra-wide instead of only narrow.
Our society need to quit this obsession with weight.
this keeps coming up and why don't they change this attitude? it's so insane, and what was said before, most of us are not that size.
Honestly, when women quit buying into this silly notion of beauty, this will stop because there won't be any money in it. All they have to do is stop buying the clothes and the mental bullshit. All they have to do is respect themselves for who they are, not what they look like. It's not that hard. I've done it all my life.
I dont buy that sort of stuff... I wish everyone else would too. I don't work and since I spend a lot of time at home, I have no need for much in nice clothes. I prefer jeans and t-shirts anyway.
120 is ideal for me - but I'm Five feet ZERO inches. Arggh!
(10-15-2009 01:18 AM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]Honestly, when women quit buying into this silly notion of beauty, this will stop because there won't be any money in it. All they have to do is stop buying the clothes and the mental bullshit. All they have to do is respect themselves for who they are, not what they look like. It's not that hard. I've done it all my life.
You're not the typical woman. Society has this idea that women must fit this narrow view of attractiveness. It doesn't help that it also helps fuel the capitalist treadmill. I've long felt that if women en masse said "you know, I'm not five pounds overweight, I'm just right" or "You know, I really don't need twelve pairs of shoes" or god help me "You know, I don't need to put on full makeup just to get a gallon of milk" our entire economy would collapse.
It reminds me of a Ricki Lake episode entitled "Turn My Goth To Glam" so you can imagine how dreadful this was. They had six teens who dressed in a goth style. Four of them were goth-lite (look at me, I'm wearing a spiked bracelet from Hot Topic because I'm edgy!) so basically they just got them an outfit from Hollister and had them wash their face. The fifth was a guy who did the eyeliner thing. It was the sixth that really bothered me because of what they did to her.
She was a romantigoth meaning she wore lots of velvet, silk, satin, lace, and other sensual materials and she handmade all of her clothes and the clothing was gorgeous. She could seriously be a designer. She had lovely waist length raven black hair that was natural and flawless white skin that made it clear she's never been in a tanning salon. She also wore to die for jewelry. Even though she was 17 I sat there thinking she was incredibly gorgeous and I'd love to meet her.
The Ricki Lake crew gave her a makeover. Horrifying.
The first thing they did was to change her clothing. Instead of her lovely handmade outfit complete with long skirt, fluffy blouse that hinted subtly at her femininity and carefully chosen accessories they made her in a Britney Spears clone of the "Oops I did it again" era. The poor thing was tugging at her miniskirt trying to pull it down and at her blouse because it was very form fitting and showed her stomach. They practically dragged her on stage in fact. It was clear she hated her outfit. It got worse.
They took her lovely waist length hair and gave her a haircut which was just past the shoulders and they put blond highlights. It was terrible looking because her hair was not the right color for that shade of highlights. The worst part though was the spray on tan. Oh dear god it was hideous. It was so obviously overdone and her complexion did not support it. The poor girl looked like she was going to break down crying.
Her mom came up on stage and it was clear that she instigated these shenanigans because she was also dressed like a Britney clone and admitted she was a former cheerleader. I only hope she remembers that her daughter will pick her nursing home someday.
Eddy said, "You're not the typical woman. Society has this idea that women must fit this narrow view of attractiveness. It doesn't help that it also helps fuel the capitalist treadmill. I've long felt that if women en masse said "you know, I'm not five pounds overweight, I'm just right" or "You know, I really don't need twelve pairs of shoes" or god help me "You know, I don't need to put on full makeup just to get a gallon of milk" our entire economy would collapse."
That's true, Eddy, but more women could do it very easily if they just got their heads out of their fashion magazines and make-up kits and thought about what really matters. I think the best way to do that is for women like me to be more obvious and tell them how easy life can be without all the crap they wear and all the baggage they drag around in their heads. At school, my lesbian colleagues ALL look like me, except they vary in shape, size and age. But none of us think about fashion. We have real lives. Unfortunately, my straight female counterparts say, "Oh, I know I'm constructed this way by my culture, but I just can't help it." When they tell me this, I say, "Of course you can help it. You just told me you know what to do." Then they get mad. Ces't la vie. So professional lesbians and straight butches need to stand up and be counted. I don't honestly know what else we can do.
I hardly ever, ever wear make-up and I don't dress up but I do fall victim to the weight thing. I know I don't look bad but my problems come from being told I was fat by a parent growing up, and being told I was fat by a couple friends and a boyfriend in my teen years. Funny thing is, I was actually NOT overweight at all, but I am now. I just hate when your clothes get tight, I don't want to buy new clothes so if they get tight I'd rather lose the weight.
I was 109 and fully grown when told I was fat by those people. I don't know why. I remember when I got a job and got out on my own more I assumed no one would like me or find me attractive. That was not so, I remember being in such shock at how many people liked me and found me attractive. I was thinking, "But I thought I would have to lose weight and grow taller." I mean, I honestly remember being utterly surprised that someone of the opposite sex liked me the way I was. I totally thought it was not going to be like that because of what I was told during my life up to that point.
Now I feel sad/mad that at 109 I was trying to diet. I'd love to be 109 again, that is a perfect weight for my height. It just pisses me off that I had to think that I was fat all those years. I admit part of why I'd like to lose weight now is my health, joint pains that I have and I worry about diabetes, cholesterol, those things.
Dana -- word! I thought I was soooo fat all through high school, when I was 135 (5'6"). But it was the 80s, when your stomach had to be flat -- anyone remember that? -- today's toned woman has a little natural muscly belly mound, but in the eighties, if you weren't flat as a board between your hip bones, you were TOO FAT!
Now that I'm significantly larger than 135, I wish I didn't have such a distorted body image all those years.
I rarely wear makeup. The last time I did was when I had bruises all over my face from having my wisdom teeth out this time last year, and I wore makeup only because I had to attend a legal hearing and didn't want people noticing the bruises and thinking bad thoughts about my DH!
I remember seeing a news story a long time ago about a study done on womens' waist to hip ratios (WHR). And that despite how much a woman weighs if she has an optimal WHR, a man will find her more attractive than a women without that; even if the other woman is thinner.
jmk - I remember that too.
(10-16-2009 12:35 PM)jmk3482 Wrote: [ -> ]I remember seeing a news story a long time ago about a study done on womens' waist to hip ratios (WHR). And that despite how much a woman weighs if she has an optimal WHR, a man will find her more attractive than a women without that; even if the other woman is thinner.
Sigh. I'm a rectangle. I hate that study!
Of course there are always issues on top of issues, but here's an idea: why don't we teach young women to make their primary goal self-actualization? Find the right profession and excel in it. Put all their emphasis on who they are, not what they look like? Then see what kind of man that attracts, if you're of a mind to be involved with men.
I'm not saying we should all get sloppy fat, because hygiene and neatness both matter. I'm saying is dress neatly and simply so your time and energy can go into what you DO. This acts as a handy filter to eliminate people from your life who don't share your priorities.
My story isn't too different from Dana's and PG. I haven't worn makeup in about 20 years, I never look at fashion magazines, I never wear heels, I dress comfortably and spend about 2 minutes on my hair. But I do have weight and self-esteem issues, I can't evade those. I started off very skinny as a child, so much so that people gave me shit about it non-stop, especially my mother. Then I started gaining weight in middle school and she'd make me go to the boys department in stores and she'd make me try on boys clothes in the aisles, in front of other kids, instead of in the dressing rooms. The shame was enormous, and she'd smile and tell me that I was "chubby" and I needed to wear the "chubby" boys clothes. She delighted in me not being thin anymore, and she delighted in my misery.
Then in high school I started to grow up and lost a bit of weight and was more "normal," I guess, but my grandfather often told me I was fat and ugly, and I totally believed him. In college, I didn't know how to feed myself very well because my mother purposefully refused to teach me life skills so I'd always be dependent on her. I didn't know how to eat right and I literally starved myself, not on purpose. But even at starving weight, the best I could do was 118 lbs at 5'3". I was in serious trouble with my health back then, I barely ate anything and I never drank much liquid--water was unheard of. I don't know how I managed to get through it without collapsing, but still, 118 lbs. and I was starving, and I still thought I was fat. My grandfather told me I was so ugly I'd never find a man who'd want me and he'd be willing to pay for some plastic surgery for my ugly face. And he meant it, he usually never offered to pay for anything. My mother obviously agreed because instead of giving him crap for saying that to me, she asked me if I'd like to do it. It was humiliating, and I thought seriously about it, but I was scared of surgery, especially unnecessary, non-life saving surgery, so I declined and figured I was just stuck with this ugly face.
My weight stabilized over the years as an adult, I think I was in a more "normal" range, but my first husband called me fat all the time. If I tilted my head downward to look at something he'd say that I must have been in an accident because I'm wearing a "neckbrace," a neckbrace of fat. It got me so upset that I couldn't look down at things in his presence. The thing is, I now look at photos of me from back then and I really was thin, I was easily fitting into things I could never, ever wear now. The wedding dress I wore when I married him was an antique, it had to be around a size 4 or so. I could wear anything, and yet every day he told me I was fat and he'd point out thin women dressed like prostitutes on the streets of New Orleans and ask me why I couldn't look like them. They were full of makeup and wore high heeled stipper shoes and tiny mini skirts and tight shirts showing cleavage. I didn't want to dress like them, but one day I put on an old pair of fishnets from back in college (I was more gothy then), to please him, and he complained that the skirt I wore with them was too long (I like long gothy-Victorian style skirts and dresses) and anyway they were the WRONG KIND of fishnets, and I failed to please him, yet again, and he dismissed me with a wave of his hand. But there was no pleasing him because he's a piece of shit.
I know, he's an asshole, a useless drunk who gets his rocks off by hurting women by attacking their looks. Why should I care and why should this have such a bearing on me and my self-esteem as a human? But it all adds up. The kids in school always making fun of me; my insane mother who enjoyed humiliating me; the looks I got from the boys and their mothers when I had to try on the "chubby" boys clothes in the aisles; my grandfather telling me I was fat and ugly and therefore completely unlovable; the random male customer telling me to "grow some titties" so he could like me better when I was a waitress at the age of 19---he made sure to point out that my "titties" weren't good enough or big enough and he made sure to say it loudly so everyone could hear; my ex-husband telling me everyday I was too fat for him, etc. Even my current husband asked "How fat are you planning on getting?" early in our relationship when I asked him if he'd still love me if I gained weight in the future.
It adds up, weighs down your soul. Or at least it does me, I'm thin skinned. I'm 5'3" and now weigh 150 lbs. I'm a size 8. I feel gross, but this is it. I exercise, I eat very well, but I have serious hormonal problems and retain water and gain weight without effort, so this is it. I look back on those photos when I weighed 118-130 and I think how much I hated myself and hated how I looked back then, and now I hate that I wasted it hating myself so much! I'd love to be that thin again.
With all these people giving me shit, and society at large against me, how could I rise above it and not give a shit, and just concentrate on being the best person I can be on the inside? The deck is stacked against women, it's hard to just shirk it off like it's nothing, because it starts when we are very young and at our most vulnerable.
Anastasia, let me then ask you, since I am not you, and don't have those issues, does now understanding what went on, and now realizing you are good and valuable not matter more? It looks to me as if you have diagnosed yourself accurately, and realize how badly you were raised and treated. So now that you know it, does that not impact what you do as you go forward?
(10-16-2009 11:08 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]Anastasia, let me then ask you, since I am not you, and don't have those issues, does now understanding what went on, and now realizing you are good and valuable not matter more? It looks to me as if you have diagnosed yourself accurately, and realize how badly you were raised and treated. So now that you know it, does that not impact what you do as you go forward?
That's an interesting question. I should be able to intellectualize myself out of it since I know I was a victim of abuse and I'm trying to discount the abusers to keep their opinions from having any value in my life. Although I suppose I'm not as damaged as I used to be, however, I think my subconscious or perhaps my instincts have been moulded and shaped in this certain way, and under certain circumstances I can't overcome how external forces make me feel about myself. For example, I'm still extremely shy, extremely easily startled, and live in fear of being humiliated or embarrassed--which has shaped my self-deprecating humor. If I do it first, then it's already done. If the right random person came along and said something to me about my weight, I'd have a very hard time not taking it seriously and feeling awful over it. I can ask myself, Why should this random person's opinion about my weight or my looks or whatever bother me? But it does, and I can't shake it, perhaps because it validates what I feel about myself, and I'm unable to make that go away.
Years ago, when my therapist or good friends would say something along the lines of, "You need to get yourself some self-esteem. Love yourself." etc., I would completely agree but not know how to go about it. Where do I pick me up a can of this self-esteem? Because I can't find that stuff.
Perhaps because I've been wired like this since as long as I can remember, it can't be entirely 100% overcome. Some things get better over time, perhaps, but not completely fixed. For example, I'm no longer a cutter, but I was throughout my teens. Then I stopped and figured the feeling was gone forever, and yet, when my first husband started abusing me verbally and physically, I started up again. It was like I had zero control. So he's gone from my life and so is the desire, but I know no matter how confident I am today that I would never do that again, experience has shown me that my reflexes act independently from my intellect. I did not actually choose to cut in my teens or during my first marriage, it was a reaction to abuse that I could not control. Perhaps "reaction" is a better word. My reactions to being humiliated or abused or made fun of, or whatever, are not entirely in my control, no matter how much I tell myself what "they" say doesn't matter, or that I need to have some self-esteem. I can say "I'm good enough, smart enough, and doggone it people like me" all I want, but I'm not sure I could ever reach a point where I absolutely believe it for real.
My mother and grandfather laid the groundwork for this, because maybe if I'd faced abusers and assholes in school as a kid, and later in my adult life, with a healthy attitude instilled by my mother/grandfather, I could have ignored it all genuinely, like water off a duck's back, and moved on with my life relatively unscathed. I could have seen what kind of abusive jerk my first husband was from the get-go and told him to hit the pavement the first time he raised a hand to me. But some things must be getting better since I'm married to a much better person now and I no longer live in a home full of fear and screaming and fighting, everything is calm and positive.
I really appreciate that, Anastasia. I've benn wanting to ask this question for years and never had a chance before because it's not really my business and people might think I was judging or criticizing them, and take offense. But this is a safe place where people are a lot smarter than average and understand we are looking for enlightenment we can't get elsewhere.