We Kid You Not Childfree Forums

This news is so pitiful I don't even know where to begin other then just to blurt it out.
My Niece Jessica is PREGNANT again.
Now, she is only 23 years old
She has had about 5 abortions that we all know of maybe a few more that we don't know about.
Why didn't she abort this one??
WHY, cause of all the reasons that have been posted here recently about the sad state of this economy and jobs and all.
She cannot get any help from the system as a single lady unless she has kids.
So I guess she feels that this kid will be her personal meal ticket.
Never mind that she already has a daughter that she gave birth to 5 years ago and gave her up to her father to raise.
NO, Now she feels that 5 years later she is old enough to try again and raise a child on her own. And of course with the aid of our tax dollars as well

Her father, our BIL, has washed his hands of her. And told her under no such circumstances will he be raising this child.
( the jury is still out on that statement, lol)
But anyway, I am just appalled at my niece who feels that the only way to show true love for a child, is to have your child's name tattooed across your back.
What will she do now?. Add a new name underneath Dakoda's name across her back?

That was the joke hubby & I shared, lol
Just so that we can have something to laugh at.
While we shake our heads in disgust.

Never mind that my hubby worked hard all his adult life busted his ass for more then 20 years and is facing the same plight many of our friends here on these boards faced with losing our good credit and our home.
NO, instead we have to see this child who has jumped from job to job, scammed her way though her whole young adult life. Lied, cheated, partied, and stole her way through, only to now have the SYSTEM reward her for her good times and fun fun fun! All because she is PREGNANT! Grrrrrrr
Never mind that she never suffered any consequences for any of her actions, NO, not her. Now she will have the wonderful welfare system at her beck & call.

Now to her credit for now, she does have a new job at an Olive Garden as a waitress.
Granted she is trying to work, but trust me, it won't last!
This is only her 8th job in about
5 months. So, her track record on keeping steady work sucks.
She always gets her ass caught stealing from the workplace and gets fired, and moves on to someplace new. This is her M/O
And it is too pitiful for words.

NOW where is the baby's father in all of this? Glad you asked, lol
This idiot is sitting in jail for domestic abuse.
Yes Good Old Jessica had her chance the first time to leave this ass hole after he beat her up. Her mother offered her to live with her in S.C. Just till she was able to get back on her feet. Etc etc,
But Jess refused it, and went back to the man that was making her life a living hell, cause she loved him, barf gag spit.

But anyway, after the second beating while she just newly found out she was preggers, he was arrested for assault.
I do not know how long he will sit in jail. I have no idea what will happen once he is released.

But what I do know is Jess ain't living with us.
She did try once a few months back. I will give her that.
She had the NERVE to call us once back before she ever got the plane ticket offer, asking us if we could put her up.

Now, we have not spoken to this child in years. We have no clue as to her total life style.
Yet she wanted to live with US?!
My hubby said no way Jess. And used his unemployment status as an excuse to we cannot afford to have you live with us.
So, she was cool about it. She sort of should have known better by our CF lifestyle that no way would we would have her here.
But, I guess at the time she was desperate!
But, why she turned her mother/Father down on the plane ticket/move I have no idea. (they are divorced )
The mother offered to have her live with her rent free. Her father paid for the plane ticket.
And he got stuck holding the bag sort of speak as Jess turned it all down, to go live with a man that abused her.
Of course after she pulled that stunt both her parents are fed up with her. And now she is totally on her own.

But, for now she and her baby to be is safe. At least while he still sits in Jail. Jess is staying with a few friends for now.
She is also looking to get a place of her own. And was looking to good old granny to supply the $ for that transaction. Of course granny says she turned her down. But we think she gave her some $
Granny of course is an old softie when it comes her her children.
Anyway getting back to the prick who beat Jess up,
When he gets out, I will keep you all posted with updates.
So that is my family disgrace for today. lol
All comments of course are most welcomed along with any hugs you can spare

Wow, trainwreck all around. I dont understand why women want that life - a baby, no job, douchebag of a baby daddy, what a shitty life. I get so frustrated seeing so many people live this lifestyle. Is she too stupid for birth control??? I mean for fuck's sake people, get on a pill, use a condom, or close your effing legs. Grow a brain too!!

Wow, that totally sucks, in a hundred ways....

It always sucks to see a woman get tied to an abuser by having his kid. There was this girl I worked with who is about 25 who is in almost the same situation as your niece. She recently got fired from where I work and the whole time she was saying she was going to have an abortion (She also has had like 5 before too) but she kept having shit happen with the baby daddy and never got around to it. She also took Xanax, Valium and Oxycontin while she was pregnant because she was convinced she was going to get an abortion. She never got the abortion, (she did get another job but of course she will have to quit soon) and now her poor kid is going to possibly have birth defects and if by some shred of luck it doesn't it will be brought into the home of an abusive relationship.

As someone who grew up in an abusive situation with my parents, it is really hard to see kids brought into the world that are going to end up growing up similiar. A very sad situation and I am sorry your family is going through this. It sounds like your niece needs some help, but only people that want to be helped can be helped. People who are in abusive relationships do have a pattern of going back to their abusers, my mom stayed with my dad until I was an adult. It is a shame how many people "stay together for the kids," when it will actually fuck them up more than growing up with a single mom with the help of the grandmother. It sucks that your niece doesn't have enough sense to take up her mother on the offer. At least the dirtbag is in jail for now, and hopefully he will stay there.

:UPDATE ON JESS:

I found out over the holidays that Jess is due to pop sometime the end of Jan.
Hubby is praying she won't have her kid on his birthday 1/27
He does not want his birthday associated with any rugrat of her's
But anyway, Jess's Brother Eric who lives in S.C is flying in for the happy event ( gross, choke, barf)
And I know that if hubby is still out of work by then, we will be railroaded to go see the baby too.
I can only hope Hubby is working by then. That will be the only thing that will save us from this turmoil.
In addition to Eric coming to town to see the new baby. He also wants us to meet his bride to be "S". As he is getting married this summer.
He knows damn well we cannot afford to fly out to S.C to see him get married. I am sure he is eager for us meet "S" only so that we would be obligated down the road to send them a gift later on.
I could be wrong, But seeing is that Eric has not bothered to stay in touch for us in years, I doubt that I am, wrong that is, lol

Anyway. I have no info as to the whereabouts of the baby's daddy.
So, once again my tax dollars will be feeding & housing this kid that she had no business ever making to begin with

These kinds of relatives remind me how grateful I am to have only one sister whose husband got a vasectomy with three kids and one very old aunt who never had kids. Yup, stories like this make me very grateful that I have such a small circle of family.

I'm thinking she and the daddy of the baby discussed the abortion option, but baby-daddy probably wants her to have the kid to maintain a connection between the two (control). He's thinking that when he gets out of the slammer, he needs a place to go to and she'll find someone who will sympathize with a single mother and take her in, and therefore take him in. She's probably thinking that having a baby will bring them closer together and he will magically turn into Mr. Wonderful Daddy and Boyfriend who will go get a good job and they will live happily ever after.

I think this is a case of someone who has really low self esteem and figures she can't do any better than Mr. Abuser. I agree that getting the kid's name tattooed acroos her back is pretty dumb, but it could be worse-she could get the baby-daddy's name tattooed on her. No doubt theyll eventually split up, so that will be one problem taken care of. But the other problem will take about 18 years or more to deal with.

I cannot imagine trying to get by or barely live on the TANF (temp. assistance for needy families) of $139 a month cash and full food stamps that this state gives a single mom of one. Even with subsidized rent and assistance on electric and natural gas, that does not leave enough to pay for water, sewer, basic landline phone and car insurance. It is a nightmare and never enough to pay for non-food personal care items and diapers needed.

I am sorry your family thinks it is even in the realm of possibilities that she live with you, TW. Especially given hubby's status in job transition. Sometimes families are a real PITA!

You seriously need to blow these people off. Disregard their efforts to get in touch. Answer in a vague way once a month at most. Promise/commit to nothing. Change your phone number and e-mail address. Don't discuss it. Don't defend your decision, just repeat as necessary.

eslbee: I wish I could but this is my husbands family not mine. And he would never do anything like that.
His motto is "whatever" lol
But he won't go out of his way for anyone, so no worries there.
But he won't dissasociate himself either. That is just how he is wired, lol.


Oxarkmoon: Jess has had several waitress jobs in the past 9 months.
So whatever money she managed to make from that. I am sure if she had any brains left, she would have saved that income.
Plus she still has her very well off mother to run to for help.
That is IF her mother is still speaking to her. No doubt she will once the sprog is born.

Dog Holliday: ITA with the baby daddy theory. Sad but very true.

Opilies: Gratefully this is NOT my family but hubby's. MY family is a very small circle. To which I have very little connection with TG

TW, in that case, the less you worry about it, the happier you will be!

UPDATE:

Well On Jan 13, 2010 I became a "great aunt" for the 7th time.
Jess had her baby at last
A little girl, 7lbs even 19 inches long
And they named her Samantha Rian PERKINS. Apparently she is not giving the father any credit, lol But that's OK the Rat is still rotting in jail
for abusing her. So he need not get any credit for the child.
But ITA with one poster who said he will be back once he gets out. And when that shit hits the fan, I can't wait to see how mother dear ( Jess's mom) will handle it all.
ITMT our TAXES are helping her live her life for now. Along with her darling mother! ( gag, spit puke)
And of course according to BIL's S/O, Jess's mother,
is taking charge of the whole ordeal right now. And she was even in the delivery room when she had Samantha.
More power to her! Better her then me, LOL
But one good thing at least she gave this kid a decent name.
We thought for sure she was going to name her Texas, to go along with her other kid
Dakoda! ( spelled wrong I know, it her spelling of her name) lol
We just wonder how long it will be before she hoists Samantha on her father to raise
as she did with Dakoda, lol. Only time will tell.

Why it does not look like it now she will suffer consequences later. Now person can live that type of life without suffering anything from it. It might make some time, but repercussions will come.

She will reap what she has sowed.

Yikes! 5 abortions while I am pro-life very different from what most of this board is,but I am angry she has treated all her children as puppets for her on desires instead of like people.

UPDATE:
Well now my great niece Samantha is now all of 4 months old. Already her mother the slut, has been pawning her off to anyone that would baby sit her
While the slut goes off clubbing.
( shaking my head in disgust)
Yep My niece Jess is a real piece of work. And its not for the lack of trying to get this girl to see how damaging her lifestyle is to her and to her new baby.
So sooner or later the proper authorities will get a hold of her child.
I just have no idea when.
And last I heard the family joke about her having her back tattooed with the name Samantha on it. Which will be right under her other Tat of her first daughters name Dakoda. ( to which she gave up to her father to raise as his own) well the Tat story might be real after all.
This girls idea of proper mother love is to get your back tattooed with the name of the child.
( shaking my head once again)
When I heard that she was really going to that, I just gave up on ever wanting to associate with this niece again.
TG she is only my niece through marriage.
MY BLOOD Niece works in CA at CBS studios as a film director on such hit shows as CSI Miami & The Good Wife
Etc etc. She is not married and NOT pregnant! She uses her brain. I wish I could say the same for Jess.