I know this is a rather odd question for a CF group, but at the same time, it's the perspective of CFers with kids in their families (extended families) that I need. We have two grandnieces approaching puberty and BJ and I are always trying to get and send them things young women growing up will find useful. One thing we sent was a Suze Ormond book on finances for teenagers, which was politely rejected with the reasoning that the church will tell them how to spend their money. We doubt the girls ever actually got the book.
Clearly we are dealing with a hyper-religious family here, and the two girls have recently been shoved aside by the arrival of a younger brother. We really don't give a crap about him, because he's getting all the attention everyone else is giving, and he doesn't need ours.
Back to the original dilemma though, we would like to send gifts that will make them aware of the possibilities, but we fear certain items, such as scientific or cultural books will never get to them because their parents will, of course, determine if they are appropriate. So we can't send anything that might hint of sex, as in stuff about animals. We have to be careful of anything scientific that might hint of evolution, or cultural things that might include other relgions, so stuff about pyramids and the like is out.
We, ourselves, are not going to send anything religious, because anything from our religion would go against theirs, and we find theirs horribly archaic and restrictive. (They seem to be Pentecostal). We also don't want to send "girly" things like clothes and makeup because we don't want to emphasize what we consider negative and stereotypical aspects of our culture at this impressionable age. We thought of WNBA tickets but we doubt they'd want them involved or interested in sports in which lesbians are prominent. Although we, too, are lesbians, they are respectful of and polite to us, but that's probably because our contact is severely limited by distance and a total lack of interest in their company. We thought of a subscription to National Geographic but of course that could at any time contain naked people, people of other religions, or science that questions creationism. Right now we feel limited to a set of DVDs about marine life, which will have very few mammals mating in it.
We're also considering astronomy and meteorological books and equipment. But we may be missing big chunks of possibilities we would never think of because we don't have kids. Does anyone here have any bright ideas?
I'd start a college fund in their names, so they can get away as quickly as possible!
Yeah, I know -- none of us can afford that.
If Suze Orman is out, try Dave Ramsey -- he is beloved by the religious right, because he always talks about faith. But he still has very sensible advice on spending and saving, so at least they would not be indoctrinated into thinking all their money should go to the church.
You could also give them iPods with downloads of Suze or Dave.
I agree with PrairieGirl. Dave Ramsey is very sensible and many churches have classes using his materials. (Though not sure if far enough right for some folks) He does have a teen set of materials that are quite good.
Other non-fiction could be
*How Reading Changed My Life by Anna Quindlen (may give them other ideas for books)
*The Diary of Anne Frank... yes, a Jewish girl, but historical
Fiction ideas for pre-teens that should past the parents.
*The Chronicles of Narnia (It is written by CS Lewis who was a well-known Christian writer)
*Anne Of Green Gables. (The first two books of the series, Anne is very lively and while she adapts to the views, she also keeps her spirit.) And if they get hooked on the series, the same author has some dark tales.
*Loved the book The Giver by Lois Lowry. There are two other books that are companion books. Really have to think about the subject. But may be deemed okay by the parents for the utopian world outlook. (Though you may want to read first to see if they would object)
*Along the same lines of Anne Frank. Number the stars by Lois Lowry was quite good. And Jane Yolen's book Devil's Arthimatic was excellent (though the parents may get their panties in a bit of a bind by the title.)
*Classics like Secret Garden or Little Women (love Jo) may also be a good thought.
Not sure if the American Girl books would be too young for them. But most are okay pretty good. Especially the first 4 sets. Decent stories, but I think that they are more for 8-10 year olds.
I loved Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson, but there is a little bit of religion in it, but it probably doesn't jive with their doctrine. (about 2 pages total, but I know some people are put off by the church scene -very limited but the girl has never been to church and likes the basic message and then the dad saying that God doesn't send little girls to hell.)
Another thought would be just to send a blank book to encourage them to write their thoughts. Or to use as a prayer journal. Whatever floats their boat. Really cool blank books can be nice and something that they wouldn't normally get for themselves. (And how can a blank book be objectionable?)
If it is magazines you want to send, how about Reader's Digest? It is a little smattering of this, that and the other. And quite often they have stories of women who overcame adversity or who jumped up and spear-headed some movement in their town or neighborhood.
You can't go wrong with GIFT CARDS!!!! To whatever store they LOVE to shop at or Shop on line at.
That is what we did/and will still do, once hubby goes back to work. For all of our Great grand nieces and nephews.
O.T: BTW Our great Niece Twins Mackenzie & Addyson turn ONE This OCT
WOW does time fly! So what do you get a one year old? No need to reply as we are BROKE and cannot get them squat!
I am sure the fathers side of the family will provide the darling twins the best of everything at age one! ( gag puke spit) still waiting for that barf icon, lol.
I would give them gift cards to book stores so they can pick out their own stuff. I really like the journal books. I always get that for my niece along with cool bookmarks and the colorful various writing pens that are out there.
From my own past experience with my niece and her father that does not like me, I no longer think too hard about what to get her. I have found that the time I spend thinking about nice gifts is not worth it. It's not worth it because when she gets the present, it is clear that who it came from is not that big of a deal and therefore the gift is not that big of a deal.
I know you want the girls to feel special because of the attention give to their new baby brother. The mere act of sending them something in the mail with a note that says how much you think of them will go a long way. Also, I'd like to add that finding out what their favorite color is may help in personalizing your gift. If you do go with the DVD set, wrapping it in their favorite color paper will make a special impression.
Best Friends animal shelter has two really beautiful books out about their work that are appropriate for teens or tweens. I got them for my nieces who are impossible to buy for. There's no discussion of breeding or religious topics. They also have a gift shop where you can buy items and the money goes to support Best Friends. I figure it's good to try to inculcate the idea of giving to charity and compassion toward animals at as young an age as possible.
I just wanted to say thanks for all the ideas. We're going on Amazon to check some of them out. BTW, CNK, I went to the Best Friends site before I came here to ask, and I couldn't find their gift area. Do you know where it is?
We can't give money or gift cards because their parents would either take it from them or tell them what to buy. Although we do think mostly about books when we give gifts, we are open to things like scientific experiments and equipment and so on.
All ideas are great---I will keep them in mind when I have to buy gifts
The Best Friends idea is great!
My cousin did that for me last year for my B'bay. It was really neat because you get the Best Friends magazine sent to your house throughout the year.
I love the iPod idea, too!! And heck-you can never go wrong with gift cards.
(09-25-2009 01:30 PM)beachbum Wrote: [ -> ]All ideas are great---I will keep them in mind when I have to buy gifts
The Best Friends idea is great!
My cousin did that for me last year for my B'bay. It was really neat because you get the Best Friends magazine sent to your house throughout the year.
I love the iPod idea, too!! And heck-you can never go wrong with gift cards.
Gift cards are easily hidden, force-spent or taken away by parents. No different than money. We never actually did that ourselves because that was what happened when my mother gave gift cards to her nieces: the parents took them and spent them.
My grandfather was not a people-person to put it mildly, so for mine and my sisters bday he'd just toss a $20 at us. It was always, always taken from us by our parents. So, I think it's good you don't give them money or gift cards! You'll have to let us know what you end up with and how it goes over.
I got an assortment of socks and totebags/purses for my nieces from the BF store along with the books - they loved them. I'm definitely shopping there again this year.
I forgot to let you all know we put together a bird-watching kit from _National Geographic_: DVDs, book and binoculars.
(10-07-2009 09:49 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]I forgot to let you all know we put together a bird-watching kit from _National Geographic_: DVDs, book and binoculars.
That sounds like a great gift eslbee. But my question to you is.. Did your Nieces appreciate the gift? Or was it just tossed aside like a scene from the movie "Christmas Story" LOL
eslbee - that sound like a perfect gift! I hope it went over well, too.
(10-08-2009 09:30 AM)catsnotkids Wrote: [ -> ]eslbee - that sound like a perfect gift! I hope it went over well, too.
Not a clue so far. But I will report back if we ever hear anything at all.
We know from tracking that the package arrived, but we never heard anything directly from the family, so we won't be doing that again.
(10-30-2009 03:42 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]We know from tracking that the package arrived, but we never heard anything directly from the family, so we won't be doing that again.
Got that right! I stopped giving Holiday gifts to many of DH's family members because they were to fucking lazy to even acknowledge that they got them. When did a simple thank you card get to be too much to ask? Honestly.
Well Eslbee, think of all of the money you will save! NICE!
(10-30-2009 05:33 PM)beachbum Wrote: [ -> ] (10-30-2009 03:42 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]We know from tracking that the package arrived, but we never heard anything directly from the family, so we won't be doing that again.
Got that right! I stopped giving Holiday gifts to many of DH's family members because they were to fucking lazy to even acknowledge that they got them. When did a simple thank you card get to be too much to ask? Honestly.
Well Eslbee, think of all of the money you will save! NICE!
We're sorry they were raised by wolves, but it's not our fault. We're certainly not going to reinforce bad manners.