08-29-2009, 04:57 AM
The worthiest enterprise
Lorne Gunter, National Post
G eorge Orwell once wrote that the pacifist was free to indulge his opposition to war only because someone else was prepared to take up arms to defend his rights.
Similarly, the advocate of childlessness relies on the willingness of others to produce children, not just to keep the species going, but also to produce the taxpayers the childless will need to fund his old-age health and pension benefits.
Those who could have children, but choose not to, are, of course, indulging in the ultimate self-centeredness. Were everyone to copy their preference, within a generation there would be no more human race.
By their action -- or more accurately, their inaction -- they are saying to the rest of society, "Alright, you unimaginative proles. You take care of the mundane business of keeping the species going -- you do the heavy lifting -- while we go about endlessly spoiling ourselves and indulging our personal interests. Just be sure you produce enough spawn to keep our retirement benefits coming when we turn old."
There is no doubt that childbearing turns some parents into insufferable bores. As French author Corinne Maier -- whose book No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not To Have Children is the impetus for this commentary series -- wrote, parents who feel they must share the visual record of their child's birth with dinner party guests or let their toddlers record the message on the family answering machine or enter into detailed
descriptions of junior's potty training are guilty of self-indulgence, too.
I call this subset of new parents, the Baby On Board Crowd (BOBC) for their tendency to believe everyone will be as interested as they are in the minutiae of baby's day-by-day development. They affix those annoying stickers to the rear windows announcing to the world that their vehicle has a baby inside, as if that is somehow going to make other drivers more cautious around their crossover or van.
The real purpose of these stickers is to trumpet to the world, "Look at us, we have a baby!," because they are completely ineffective at shielding junior against the drunk driver or speeder.
This puts the BOBC only slightly above the Children Make the Best Accessories Cluster (CMBAC)-- those parents, usually upper-middle class, who have had children largely for the way they and their offspring look so darling together in matching yoga outfits.
While also somewhat selfish, at least both the BOBC and CMBAC are being gushingly
unendurable on behalf of another, tiny someone else. Their sacrifice may not be entirely martyrish, but at least they are caring for something greater than the self.
Moreover, to the rest of the world, the wilfully childless are every bit as tedious, with tales of their latest trek, wine-tasting, retreat weekend, home restyling, spa treatment or ocean kayaking encounter with orcas. And, of course, their tiresome tales have the double burden of being all about me, me, me.
I confess, I cannot fully comprehend why anyone would deny themselves the absolute joy of having children. Of the many hats I wear, the two I would give up last are husband and father.
Can children be trying, annoying, temperamental, heart-breaking and difficult? Of course. Caring for them and raising them is often hard, exhausting, emotional work. They change your life in ways you cannot conceive until you have them. But being parents is the most worthwhile enterprise my wife and I have ever entered into.
I never knew the full, rich dimensions of love until I held our infants in my arms, saw the wonder on their faces when they took their first steps, had my first adult discussions with them and saw deep understanding of their world emerge.
Now nothing -- nothing -- brings me greater joy than the small, smiling nod and quiet "Mmm" on our daughter's lips when I've made a meal she likes, or the way our son can truly crack me up with jokes and gags he makes up.
I look forward to big family holiday gatherings, vacations together, graduations, first dates, concerts and shared everyday triumphs and failures until I am gone from this world.
If there are 40 reasons not to have children, there are 4,000 better ones why we should.
http://www.nationalpost.com/opinion/colu...d708dd&p=1
Lorne Gunter, National Post
G eorge Orwell once wrote that the pacifist was free to indulge his opposition to war only because someone else was prepared to take up arms to defend his rights.
Similarly, the advocate of childlessness relies on the willingness of others to produce children, not just to keep the species going, but also to produce the taxpayers the childless will need to fund his old-age health and pension benefits.
Those who could have children, but choose not to, are, of course, indulging in the ultimate self-centeredness. Were everyone to copy their preference, within a generation there would be no more human race.
By their action -- or more accurately, their inaction -- they are saying to the rest of society, "Alright, you unimaginative proles. You take care of the mundane business of keeping the species going -- you do the heavy lifting -- while we go about endlessly spoiling ourselves and indulging our personal interests. Just be sure you produce enough spawn to keep our retirement benefits coming when we turn old."
There is no doubt that childbearing turns some parents into insufferable bores. As French author Corinne Maier -- whose book No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not To Have Children is the impetus for this commentary series -- wrote, parents who feel they must share the visual record of their child's birth with dinner party guests or let their toddlers record the message on the family answering machine or enter into detailed
descriptions of junior's potty training are guilty of self-indulgence, too.
I call this subset of new parents, the Baby On Board Crowd (BOBC) for their tendency to believe everyone will be as interested as they are in the minutiae of baby's day-by-day development. They affix those annoying stickers to the rear windows announcing to the world that their vehicle has a baby inside, as if that is somehow going to make other drivers more cautious around their crossover or van.
The real purpose of these stickers is to trumpet to the world, "Look at us, we have a baby!," because they are completely ineffective at shielding junior against the drunk driver or speeder.
This puts the BOBC only slightly above the Children Make the Best Accessories Cluster (CMBAC)-- those parents, usually upper-middle class, who have had children largely for the way they and their offspring look so darling together in matching yoga outfits.
While also somewhat selfish, at least both the BOBC and CMBAC are being gushingly
unendurable on behalf of another, tiny someone else. Their sacrifice may not be entirely martyrish, but at least they are caring for something greater than the self.
Moreover, to the rest of the world, the wilfully childless are every bit as tedious, with tales of their latest trek, wine-tasting, retreat weekend, home restyling, spa treatment or ocean kayaking encounter with orcas. And, of course, their tiresome tales have the double burden of being all about me, me, me.
I confess, I cannot fully comprehend why anyone would deny themselves the absolute joy of having children. Of the many hats I wear, the two I would give up last are husband and father.
Can children be trying, annoying, temperamental, heart-breaking and difficult? Of course. Caring for them and raising them is often hard, exhausting, emotional work. They change your life in ways you cannot conceive until you have them. But being parents is the most worthwhile enterprise my wife and I have ever entered into.
I never knew the full, rich dimensions of love until I held our infants in my arms, saw the wonder on their faces when they took their first steps, had my first adult discussions with them and saw deep understanding of their world emerge.
Now nothing -- nothing -- brings me greater joy than the small, smiling nod and quiet "Mmm" on our daughter's lips when I've made a meal she likes, or the way our son can truly crack me up with jokes and gags he makes up.
I look forward to big family holiday gatherings, vacations together, graduations, first dates, concerts and shared everyday triumphs and failures until I am gone from this world.
If there are 40 reasons not to have children, there are 4,000 better ones why we should.
http://www.nationalpost.com/opinion/colu...d708dd&p=1
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