(05-16-2010 04:36 PM)rubelator Wrote: [ -> ]My parents had children and it destroyed them.
I'm sorry they ever met, let alone married and had children. Having kids was the worst mistake they ever made.
Listening to my father piss and moan aloud that he wishes he would have gotten his ass shot off in Vietnam instead of meeting my mother and all that occurred thereafter (especially the youthfully ignorant creation of my now-36 year-old 3x-breeder brother, who they enable to no end and who thus is more worthless than bull tits) is not conducive to one's mental health, to say the least.
At least I am childfree and won't be repeating the ghastly mistakes of my parents.
to WKYN rubelator
I hope you enjoy your time here.
Anyway, Its nice to know I am not the only one with a worthless brother, lol.
I am so sorry your father verbally abused you. But I know the feeling. As I too, had a lifetime of verbal abuse from my mother.
Which is # 1,2345,678 reason why I chose not to have kids.
I would never want to pass the abuse gene on to anyone else.
That crap will die with me!
My mom is a narcissist and my dad is her enabler. Therefore, I'm messed up and so are my brothers. LOL
Our relationship is polite, but I wish it was deeper.
Litchie, it sounds like you're lucky it isn't!
(05-17-2010 04:04 PM)eslbee Wrote: [ -> ]Litchie, it sounds like you're lucky it isn't!
Yeah, I suppose you're right. I just can't be satisfied with worthless talk. Sigh.
(05-16-2010 08:23 PM)Truckerswife Wrote: [ -> ] (05-16-2010 04:36 PM)rubelator Wrote: [ -> ]My parents had children and it destroyed them.
I'm sorry they ever met, let alone married and had children. Having kids was the worst mistake they ever made.
Listening to my father piss and moan aloud that he wishes he would have gotten his ass shot off in Vietnam instead of meeting my mother and all that occurred thereafter (especially the youthfully ignorant creation of my now-36 year-old 3x-breeder brother, who they enable to no end and who thus is more worthless than bull tits) is not conducive to one's mental health, to say the least.
At least I am childfree and won't be repeating the ghastly mistakes of my parents.
to WKYN rubelator I hope you enjoy your time here.
Anyway, Its nice to know I am not the only one with a worthless brother, lol.
I am so sorry your father verbally abused you. But I know the feeling. As I too, had a lifetime of verbal abuse from my mother.
Which is # 1,2345,678 reason why I chose not to have kids.
I would never want to pass the abuse gene on to anyone else.
That crap will die with me!
Thanks for the welcome, Truckerswife! I never thought of it as verbal abuse until you pointed it out; I just thought he was expressing anguish at having made the catastrophic mistake of breeding at least one time too many (my brother is younger than me). I think of what my parents might have been and accomplished had they chosen a childfree life, and it saddens me. I would rather have not been born than to have been a cause of such despair, although the lions' share of the grief is due to my brother's immaturity and catastrophic reproductive decisions.
I also, as you did, put my foot down and refused to have children. I fervently wish that the abuse crap would have died with my generation. Sadly, my brother was repeatedly unable to control his testicular emissions (x 3), so yet another generation is abused by either being left fatherless (x 2) or by having direct, though sporadic contact with him (his youngest, who is now 7).
Thank you for the kind welcome, and I hope to post on a somewhat regular basis whenever I can overcome my natural tendency to inertia and lurkerdom.
It's comforting to hear that other's also had the experience of living with parents who wished they hadn't reproduced. My mom often complained of all the sacrifices she made and how she couldn't wait to be an empty-nester. Now, all 3 of her kids are distant from her. We never had been close, and I've had my share of fights with her over all kinds of stupid crap, but recently I've been able to hold pretty healthy boundaries now that I've moved out. I don't think its a major part of my decision to be CF, but it definitely moved me in that direction.
Rube, this reminds me of my own father. He always said he didn't want kids, and I was a lapse in his regimen. (Mom hid his condoms). It never bothered me because I appreciated his honesty and I feel exactly the same way. I don't wish I hadn't been born, but if I hadn't been, who would know? Not I.
I'm so happy to have a supportive family. My dad has had anger problems in the past, but other than that he's pretty great. My mother was a decent mother but as an adult, I realize she wasn't really into kids. She finally admitted to me that she regrets having children. While some people would see that as devastating, it made me closer to her than ever.. in spite of not being a natural mother, she did a pretty good job and she does truly love all of us. It also made me respect her bravery in admitting that to her own child.
Here's an astonishing fact for our times-- my parents have been married for 27 years
Both my sisters have children. My younger sister married at 19 (not that unusual for my area.. a lot of girls don't even make it out of high school unmarried) and had two kids within two years of the marriage. Her husband is the scum of the earth but she is an excellent mother in spite of this. She is finishing nursing school and I can't wait until she gets a divorce.. that sounds bad, but this guy is as bad as they come. My older sister is a pretty terrible mother.. I mean, she loves her kid but she is just very lazy and, although she was much older when she had her kid, she didn't seem to understand what all came with parenthood. As a result, her kid is a total utter brat. Astonishingly enough, she wants more children. I pray this never ever happens.
My entire immediate family supports the fact that I am childfree. My mom actually brags about it!
However, as those of us who are married/committed will know, in laws are important too. My MIL gave birth to 6 children (two of which died, which is sad), but yeah, she's all about the kids. She hasn't really started pestering me yet, but it's still very early in our marriage. She already has a grandchild, so I know that keeps the heat off of me quite a bit. I think she knows her son well enough to realize it is very unlikely to expect kids out of us, but you never know. My SIL has the one kid (a teenage accident) but tells me all the time that not having kids is the smart thing to do.. so yeah, all in all I think I've gotten off easily in the family department.
However, as I get older, I suspect the pressure will grow
(05-26-2010 04:29 PM)rubelator Wrote: [ -> ] (05-16-2010 08:23 PM)Truckerswife Wrote: [ -> ] (05-16-2010 04:36 PM)rubelator Wrote: [ -> ]My parents had children and it destroyed them.
I'm sorry they ever met, let alone married and had children. Having kids was the worst mistake they ever made.
Listening to my father piss and moan aloud that he wishes he would have gotten his ass shot off in Vietnam instead of meeting my mother and all that occurred thereafter (especially the youthfully ignorant creation of my now-36 year-old 3x-breeder brother, who they enable to no end and who thus is more worthless than bull tits) is not conducive to one's mental health, to say the least.
At least I am childfree and won't be repeating the ghastly mistakes of my parents.
to WKYN rubelator I hope you enjoy your time here.
Anyway, Its nice to know I am not the only one with a worthless brother, lol.
I am so sorry your father verbally abused you. But I know the feeling. As I too, had a lifetime of verbal abuse from my mother.
Which is # 1,2345,678 reason why I chose not to have kids.
I would never want to pass the abuse gene on to anyone else.
That crap will die with me!
Thanks for the welcome, Truckerswife! I never thought of it as verbal abuse until you pointed it out; I just thought he was expressing anguish at having made the catastrophic mistake of breeding at least one time too many (my brother is younger than me). I think of what my parents might have been and accomplished had they chosen a childfree life, and it saddens me. I would rather have not been born than to have been a cause of such despair, although the lions' share of the grief is due to my brother's immaturity and catastrophic reproductive decisions.
I also, as you did, put my foot down and refused to have children. I fervently wish that the abuse crap would have died with my generation. Sadly, my brother was repeatedly unable to control his testicular emissions (x 3), so yet another generation is abused by either being left fatherless (x 2) or by having direct, though sporadic contact with him (his youngest, who is now 7).
Thank you for the kind welcome, and I hope to post on a somewhat regular basis whenever I can overcome my natural tendency to inertia and lurkerdom.
Your very welcome rubelator, I hope you overcome your lukerdom too, lol. I am sorry to be so late in replying to you.
I totally forgot about this thread.
ITA with you about hoping that the gene pool would die with me.
But dear old shit head of a brother, had to have kids of his own.
And one of them is a boy. So the family dysfunction that is ours
continues with his 2 kids and beyond. That is if his kids has kids.
Actually when I think about it. His kids are the majority of the kids left out of my original 10 nieces & nephews, that have NOT had kids of their own, YET!
But I won't hold my breath that they stay that way.
And since his daughter lives in CA, I would never know if she had any kids (In or out of wedlock) period.
Shit head never tells me anything.
Which is fine by me, the less I hear from him the happier I will be.
Rubelator, what a textbook case! At least you learned from their mistakes.
And welcome to the group.
My relationship with my parents is OK now, I guess. Most likely because I live 3,000 miles away from them, in another country, in another continent.