1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
1. Are you friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
A few colleagues, in an academic environment. But they probably interact the least!
2. Have you ever socialised with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
Not typically. A few events now and then, but nothing regular or sustained.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
I don't see why not -- with plenty of caveats about imbalance of power, direct supervisors/subordinates, student/teacher, handling a break-up, etc.
I'm very social with my coworkers, and hae always been. It isn't unique to this job... I always seem to find that I work with friendly and unusually social people. I've worked in high-tech and the government, so I'm curious to know if I am unusual (I suspect that I am).
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
Nearly a third of my current Facebook friends are current coworkers. We all joined a couple years ago when they banned/filtered all personal email websites (yahoo, gmail, etc) but didn't ban Facebook. We like the option of being able to talk about personal stuff away from work email so we used FB messaging instead. I don't mind that they can read my updates and comments. My blog is my personal domain, although I do travel for work and my coworkers have access to that journal.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
I do socialise with them at lunch and after work. I have had some of them over for dinner at my place, or we'll go for beers at a local pub.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
I think that it's appropriate if you work for a larger group and you don't see each other on a regular basis, but if you are both in a smaller group then it would be best to try and create some distance. I have been involved with people that I have met through work but if I was working with them closely then I waited until one of us had moved on.
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
-- yes. I've historically been great friends with coworkers, and up until this current job, had wonderful coworkers that made work and life fun. Angela, my friend who died in '07, was a former coworker, and she was the one who taught me that coworkers can be some of the best friends in the world. TONS of my coworkers are FB 'friends' although I prefer for them not to read my blog. I can't control that. I don't live my life in the shadows. If they find out stuff about me they find distasteful, then they should unfriend me.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
-- Yep. I haven't done this lately, again, because my current workplace sux, but some of my current friends work for the Board, but just at different locations (ie, not my building). I love socialising with coworkers... We tend to have a lot in common. We spend a LOT of the day together and/or understand the nonsense that goes on around there. I remember years ago on this board, Fiona made several remarks to indicate that it was COMPLETELY out of the question for her, and I really didn't get it... I do get it now, but I still wish I could be friends with coworkers. I don't feel the need to separate my life out like that.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
-- I don't really have an issue with it, but I work in a very nepotistic environment and it is weird. Ie one of my coworkers is married to the boss of the help desk, and my old boss used to date his secretary (now they are married). It seems awkward, but I wouldn't rule it out.
I'm not employed but I'll give my 2 cents. One of my last jobs, we were all good friend, but it was our little group. I got along great with other co-workers and had FB been around back then we would have all friended each other yes. In fact I am friends with some of them now. But this job was not so much a "professional" environment. I've read stories about statuses coming back to bite people in the ass, so perhaps if it were boss/supervisors and a more professional company where the image projected in your personal life could matter, I'd think twice.
Well at my last job we all went to the supervisors house and drank and spent the night. This was when I worked at Wal-Mart; so not a manager or a "real" boss, he was our supervisor, he was like 19 or 20 though and we all had a blast, we were all in our young 20's and pretty good friends. Otherwise if it were just a meal or something not too bad.
I think this HUGELY depends on the kind of people you work with. I can't imagine it being a black or white situation.
As for dating, ergh. I did this... it ended up a bit awkward after a break up, however it wasn't too bad because we were in different areas with different hours. I think he avoided me too, which was fine by me. I probably wouldn't do this again, esp small where you had to always see the person. Large, if you could go weeks without ever coming into contact. I just think this has the potential to come back and bite a person in the ass really. I'd tread much more carefully on this one!
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
It would depend on the person. I can only think of a few people at my job I'd want to friend, mainly because I wouldn't want people to see that I post on facebook from work. Also, I'm not that friendly with people from work. Most of the people I was friends with here have left.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
I have before at other jobs and enjoyed it. Here it rarely happens with me. I know a lot of them go out together but I'm not friends with many people here.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
Our company has rules against it. They won't hire husbands and wives. I personally have learned the hard way not to shit where you eat. I wouldn't date anyone from work if I were single.
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
Most of my facebook friends are coworkers, or former coworkers.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
Sometimes, but not very often.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
I've dated one person that I worked with and the relationship was a disaster. Even though I was very young I eventually was able to divide the personal and the professional.
Ziggy Wrote:1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
I don't do those anyway, but if I did, I doubt it. I just don't want that much connectedness with people, or that much vulnerability.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
Occasionally. But nothing organized. They do have organized social functions all the time, and we never go.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
It depends on the place and the rules of that place. I have done it several times, and it worked out okay, but I have seen plenty of disasters, too.
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
NO! I hate work gossip, so I really try to separate my personal life w/ my work experiences.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
At a really old job (at a bar), we ALWAYS drank after work. Always. I think all of us had issues w/ booze, sadly.
At my last job, I became really good friends with a woman (I use to work w/ her step-son) and we use to go on tons of walks around the lake. She had 3 dogs that I just adored.
I never socialize w/ coworkers now.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
I say no to both....I have watched coworkers date and it always seems to create bad blood when things do not work out. Or, even if things seem well, the jealousy that can come up (usually because of some petty thing) it makes it hard on the rest of the staff.
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work? It depends on the person - I have one work friend on FB right now. I don't want any more because I complain too much about work online!
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically? I don't do this now because the women I work with I have nothing in common with other than this office. In other jobs I have socialized some with co-workers. I have no rule against it, for sure.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace? Maybe a large company, but in a small workplace you are playing with fire. I have been burned doing this.
catsnotkids Wrote:I have one work friend on FB right now. I don't want any more because I complain too much about work online!
ROFLMAO Yeah, me too. The only blessing is that everyone hates it here as much as I do, so we can commisserate online.
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
I have a couple people from work on Facebook (and past people from work that I am friends with). Certain things can be blocked, so I do that for vents about work.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
A little. But more like 2-3 times a year. Not going out for drinks after work every week. (Did that more when I was younger.)
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
If there aren't rules in place about dating co-workers. Also as long as it is either outside of your department (so work doesn't go kaka when you are having an arguement). Or that it isn't supervisor/assistant or any boss/underling situation.
Probably easier in a larger company.
I know of at least 2 couples in our office (at most 2 currently, but there has been others in the past)
It was only bad when it was one director(who was married at the time) who kept hitting on younger women that were lower in the food chain. (His secretary, a couple different managers) Funny enough, he didn't get busted for that specifically.
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
No. It's way too easy to have someone see something and start reporting it to a boss or HR because it's offensive in someone's mind even if it is off hours.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
It depends on the coworkers. When I temped in the undergraduate admissions office, about once a month we'd go out to a local bar and play pool and have a couple drinks. They were pretty cool and I enjoyed myself. If you mean more "see and be seen by the higher ups, no."
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
If we're talking a company with hundreds or thousands and you are in completely different departments with no superior/inferior dynamic then yes. Small company, no. Supervisory relationship, absolutely no.
1) Probably not
2) I have socialized very little with people from work outside of the job. One time this guy around my age had asked me to go to a happy hour with him and his buddy from my job. I would have liked to go except now this guy can't do it because he has to take care of his grandson; the one that his irresponsible daughter dumped off to him, and went to Virginia for a man she met "on-line".
Last year at the 4th of July he invited me to a BBQ. I went but felt out of place with the people he had there. And then this co-worker came (whom I did not that he was coming) and brought his wife that he just married. I did not like that co-worker; and his wife
was Filipina that was younger than half his age! It made me so sick to see them making out. I had to leave. (Sorry this was so long).
3) I would only if I'm at least 100% sure that we'd make a great pair.
I would not chance asking a woman out if I really did not know how she feels about me.
"Office romance 101: Is it a do or a don't?"
Good article! I think it's very rational and typical... in a small work environment (where you work closely with the person) then think of the potential consequences. I had a (brief) relationship with a coworker, but we had stopped working together at that point and nobody knows (those who know of our relationship don't know him, and we only have a nickname for him).
I have to admit that I was a bit more curious about the first question but wanted a few more items to make it more interesting. It's good to see that I'm not the only one who socialises with my coworkers. Although I was curious about the dating because I know that we do very little of it in my group but it is really common outside of my group (even within small groups). One of my (happily married, male) coworkers asked me why our group was so different and why I didn't date within our group. My response was to start listing all the single guys in our group. After the first 4 the guy gave me a funny look and said "You make a very valid point". Don't I know!
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
It depends on who they are. I have my boss's son on my MySpace and Facebook friends list. If I post uber-personal blogs, then I simply set them to only be read by my preferred list.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
I never really did this when I worked catering. I never really felt like I fit in with the ladies I worked with. A lot of them were from Poland and tended to click with each other more than with me. But I socialize now more with the people I work with at the funeral home. It's more of a tight-knit place and it's almost like an extended family.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
I would say that if it is a large workplace AND the two people involved are mature enough NOT to drag their romance and possible breakup drama into the office, then I would say yes. I had experience with this when I sort-of dated a guy who worked with us for 6 months. I was mature enough not to discuss what went on with anyone and be discreet about it but apparently he could not. I have a very strong feeling that he blabbed. If I had known that he was that immature, I would never have done it and doubt I would do something like that again in the future.
1. Would you want to be friends 'online' (i.e. Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter, etc) with anyone related to work?
Absolutely not! I don't want anyone from work to know about my personal life.
2. Would you ever socialise with coworkers after hours? Do you do this typically?
Not normally. Christmas dinners / parties are the exception. I might go out for lunch with someone from work but that's about it.
3. Is it appropriate to date someone else who works for the same large company? How about within a smaller group, or a smaller workplace?
Personally, I think it's a disaster waiting to happen but I've met married couples who met at work and it seemed to work out for them. Not for me though. Too much can go wrong.