The manager of a neighboring store has placed a collection jar on our counter. His granddaughter was in a terrible accident and was badly burned - so much so that she ended up at the Shriner's Hospital in Ohio. He told us at the store that the local hospital bills were nearly $400K. Understanding that even if her parents had insurance, this would cap out nearly any standard policy.
So our customers have been very generous - often placing all their change into the jar while commenting that it was the least they could do.
Then comes the next time I see our manager. She tells us that the grandfather has come in to tell them he took her school clothes shopping (she is now home and wheelchair-bound). The girl commented that they spent too much money on items. He told her it was all donations and it was okay.
Excuse me?! WTF?! That damned money was supposed to go toward helping the family pay bills associated with the accident - not buy her frippery school clothes! The stupid parents should have had the money for that anyway. Maybe that is just me, but I feel a great fraud has been perpetrated upon everyone who kindly donated change and bills (often 2-digit ones) for the girl.
What do you think?
ETA: Darn, I missed in proof reading - I meant to say Karma will catch up with them. Stupid "A" key!
I voted take the jar off the counter. Shriners Hospital doesn't even charge for their services. She was likely hospitalized before being transferred to Shriners so they may have bills from that.
Here is a blurb from their web site:
Quote:For patients at Shriners Hospitals, ability to pay or insurance coverage is never an issue. There is no charge for any care or services provided within Shriners Hospitals for Children facilities.
I voted no one has control... however, now that I know Shriners is a free service, I'm undecided.
Though the hospital is free, it's possible that rehab, medications, future MD visits, and home care are not.
Ozarkmoon: if you are able, maybe ask around and find out what specific costs the family is paying. Since you work there this may be difficult, maybe you could get a nosy friend to come in and ask questions.
What did the sign say on the jar? Surely it wasn't that lengthy explanation about 400K in medical bills. It probably just said something like "Support a burn victim" or something like that, in which case it wasn't really fraud.
I voted for once money is given, you can't really decide where it goes. If you want to know where your money is going, you have to donate it to organized charities that give tax receipts and are accountable to the donors. If you hand a fiver to a guy standing in front of the liquor store, you really have no right to know or tell the guy where to spend it.
Once the money has been given then you have no control or say as to where it goes.
This doesn't mean that you can't change the jar from now on... you could say that the money is now being donated to the Shriner's hospital.
Since I don't know the family's personal financial situation, I can't make an informed decision about whether they had the money for school clothes. Maybe the family spent their savings on medical bills and are just barely keeping the monthly bills paid and therefor can't afford new clothes. Plus, for a tragically burned young girl, new clothes can go a long way to help her feel better about herself and to keep a positive outlook. I know how I feel when I get new clothes, and I didn't have to go through that trauma.
I voted that you can't control where the funds go. The family needs money and money was given. Now if you told me that they bought something non-essential, like jewelry or a new TV, that's different. You need clothes to survive.
jmk3482 Wrote:Since I don't know the family's personal financial situation, I can't make an informed decision about whether they had the money for school clothes. Maybe the family spent their savings on medical bills and are just barely keeping the monthly bills paid and therefor can't afford new clothes. Plus, for a tragically burned young girl, new clothes can go a long way to help her feel better about herself and to keep a positive outlook. I know how I feel when I get new clothes, and I didn't have to go through that trauma.
I voted that you can't control where the funds go. The family needs money and money was given. Now if you told me that they bought something non-essential, like jewelry or a new TV, that's different. You need clothes to survive.
That's exactly what I was going to say. The kid was badly burned, don't begrudge her a little bit of happiness.
I voted with the Majority this time, lol. No one has control over donations. Once the money is given, that is it period.
BUT I do see your side of it ozarkmoon the parents should have had funds for new clothes anyway. NEW clothes is not something that is needed unless the child has outgrown everything she owns.
Then if that was the case, then ya, clothes are needed.
They say kids grow like weeds, so, you got to keep them clothed
After all,You can't have little naked monsters running around the schools,now can you? lol. And considering the hell this child went through to begin with. Begrudging her some pretty new dresses is a bit petty, now don't you think?
Now, if you had overheard them say they were buying her a Flatscreen TV? Then you would have more cause to be as upset as you seem to be. But, I do understand why you were upset. After all it is the principle of the matter
The funds should go just for medical costs.
So, I guess this is a lesson for one and all.
MAKE SURE YOU KNOW where your $ goes FIRST, BEFORE you donate it.
I agree that it's hard to begrudge a burned little girl some nice clothes or anything else that might make her feel better.
However, if people were encouraged to give because of a belief in the family's inability to pay for her treatment, I'm appalled at the way they spent the money. And if they specifically asked for help for the medical bills, but there were in fact no medical bills, that IS fraud, to my mind!
Oh yes, the grandfather of the girl (he, who works at a neighboring store, not in mine) asked all of us to make sure that everyone knew that the family's medical expenses at the local hospital was near $400K. Thereby (in my mind) making it a donation to help the family pay for bills.
A short addendum here also, from the time I started at this store (Sept. 2008) until the jar for the teen girl went up, there was another jar with a preteen boy's photo and a large narrative about how he had some long-name cancer. And that he had to go to St. Jude's. The end of the printing said "Please Give to St. Jude's to Help Children Like Me". That was the man's (supposed) grandson, younger brother of this girl. Not an official St. Jude's collection jar. Plus no one knows where that money went to.
I am not petty nor unkind-hearted, but a realist and a tad cynical. Either this family has more than a fair share of tragedy, or this man is just finding ways to supplement he meager per hour slave wage at the auto store.
Goodbye Spammer, your Philippine domain is now blocked.
Yes, it was a shitty thing to do. But one truly has no control over donations once they are given. Miss Manners says this herself. All you can do is resolve not to help them anymore.
ozarkmoon Wrote:I am not petty nor unkind-hearted, but a realist and a tad cynical. Either this family has more than a fair share of tragedy, or this man is just finding ways to supplement he meager per hour slave wage at the auto store.
Ah, that puts more light on the situation. This man sounds shady. Can you refuse to set out his jars? Or at least insist to see documentation of costs incurred. I wonder how many stores he has jars at, he's possibly pulling in a few hundred dollars a day.
If you aren't able to move the jar or have your manager start a "no jar" policy, perhaps you can forget to tell customers about it. Or when cleaning the counter accidently move it to a less obvious spot.
good luck, keep us posted. This could be a very interestng story...