Dear Abby
by Abigail Van Buren
NEW MOM RELUCTANTLY USES BATHROOM AS PUMPING STATION
DEAR ABBY: I am a new mom who works in a high-tech start-up company that does not provide a mother's room. I'm the first employee here to have a baby. The corporate plaza in which my office is located also doesn't provide one. Therefore, I must resort to using the restroom to pump my breast milk, which must be done every few hours.
Some of the women using the restroom have wondered aloud about the "weird noise" they hear, while others walk back and forth searching for the source of the "sound."
How should I respond to them? Using the restroom is not my choice, but it is the only option I have because I plan to breast-feed my baby for as long as I can. -- PRIVACY PLEASE IN SANTA CLARA, CALIF.
DEAR PRIVACY PLEASE: You're reacting as if pumping breast milk is something to be ashamed of. It isn't. While you may be the first woman at the company to have given birth, I guarantee you won't be the last. So start communicating with the other female co-workers. It might be in all of your best interests to bring this to the attention of your supervisor or your boss.
And as to the "pacers" and "wonderers" in the restroom -- try to understand that they are merely curious. Consider printing a sign you can tape to the door of the stall you occupy that reads: "Breast Pumping Station." It will stop the questions and save you from yelling out, "It's my breast pump!"
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
Dear Privacy Please,
I think if you feel like you're a cow hooked up to a milking machine, and thus ashamed to announce that that's the noise we hear in the echo chamber called the modern industrial bathroom, then you should try one of several really good, high quality, and nutritious formulas out there on the market. The excretions flowing from your body are not the only things good for your kid, so there's no need to be a martyr about it.
Every few hours? What a nightmare.
Oh, for heavens sake.
A sign on the stall that she is in that says breast pumping is fine, but breast pumping station? Stupid.
One of our bathrooms is a single stall that the HR director put a small chair in (not an office chair, but like a kitchen chair) and if the door is shut then use a different restroom. (We have three sets upstairs and two downstairs.)
Otherwise, there isn't an office or a small meeting room that can be use?
My boss pumped in her office without fanfare or whining. And did so without issue, except for the department VP. The VP had this stupid thing of just walking into to offices when the door was shut. Having a private meeting or on a conference call? He would walk right in. He tried that one day to S. S had a sign that said "Do Not Enter" that she put up when she was pumping. VP started to the door. I told him he couldn't go in. He still reached for the door. I said "D, you can't go in. S is BUSY!!" He had his hand on the knob. I finally leaned over my desk and loudly hissed at him, "S is PUMPING. Do Not Open That Door!! That is why the sign is up." He turned 8 shades of red and never touched her door when it was closed after that (sign or no sign, even after her twins were older.)
By the way, from what I have seen, including two mothers of twins in my office, every 3-4 hours is pretty normal. So twice a day at the office would be all.
gingerzing Wrote:My boss pumped in her office without fanfare or whining. And did so without issue,
So did mine. We made her a "do not disturb" sign for her door and that was it.
But it's possible that the letter-writer may work in a cubicle.
Oh, I assume that she probably does have a cube. But I would be surprised if there isn't a free office SOME place in that or small meeting room that could be used for 15-30 minutes twice a day. (not sure how long it takes.)
What's next? Employers providing a pumping station for guys who want to donate sperm to a sperm bank?
Dog Holliday Wrote:What's next? Employers providing a pumping station for guys who want to donate sperm to a sperm bank?
LOL!
Umm, it's human nature to want to look for the source of an unusual noise. If she wants to pump somewhere where no one else can hear her, why not park somewhere empty and pump in her car?
Every few hours?
My coworker had a baby and was pumping at work and only had to pump once during a full day. Of course, she didn't have this lady's issue because our bathroom happens to have a small sitting room with a lockable door.
As for boob vs formula I have no problem with a mom choosing to give her kid breastmilk, it's just a breast pump- surely she can find an unoccupied office and close the door. It doesn't take that long and it's not that big of a deal.
Geez, the lady had to write to Dear Abby about this? how long did it take to get a response? She seems like she can't think for herself. How about going to HR with her concern. They probably could have helped her right away with the idea of a sign for the bathroom.
Isn't there usually the potential for gross sounds to come out of a bathroom stall anyway? Who are these people to go around questioning what they are hearing in a stall. I wouldn't. I would just hurry the hell up and get out of there.
Quote:Isn't there usually the potential for gross sounds to come out of a bathroom stall anyway? Who are these people to go around questioning what they are hearing in a stall. I wouldn't. I would just hurry the hell up and get out of there.
Ah, but people have no shame these days. They even carry on cell phone conversations in the bathroom, when it's patently clear that the other person can tell where the person is talking from. I find it rather insulting to be so low on someone's call list that they have to speak to me in the bathroom!
I have to think it's really uncomfortable to sit in a bathroom stall and pump too. Our seats have no covers, so that would be really difficult if that were the only option.
I totally agree that this lady needs to stand up for herself- find a solution and create a plan to help future mothers at her company. She's trying to do what's best for her baby AND be discreet and obviously that issue hasn't come up with them before, or no one has cared to address it.
God-- another thing I'm glad I don't have to worry about...
PrairieGirl Wrote:Ah, but people have no shame these days. They even carry on cell phone conversations in the bathroom, when it's patently clear that the other person can tell where the person is talking from. I find it rather insulting to be so low on someone's call list that they have to speak to me in the bathroom!
Oh, god! That drives me nuts. Why the hell would anyone do this? I see/hear people doing this all the time and I can't help but wonder what the person on the other end of the line is thinking when they hear the flushing, tinkling and...worse.
It's too bad cell phone manufacturers don't make cell phones that can transmit smells. That would eliminate a lot of bathroom chit chat. I wonder how many people they're calling ask: "Where are you calling from?" And I wonder how many callers say: "I'm in the bathroom taking a dump, and that got me thinking of you, so I decided to give you a call". This ranks up there with taking on a cell phone while driving. How many calls or text messages or so important and life altering that it cannot wait a few minutes or done at the side of the road? Pretty soon, face-to-face conversations are going to be a thing of the past. People will go home and not speak to one another, and instead, call each other on their cells or text message each other, even if they're sitting in the same room.
When someone is on a cell in the men's room, I have to admit I take pleasure in grunting like I'm birthing a watermelon and making loud comments about spicy Mexican food, and flushing a couple times. Seriously, can't you wait five minutes to call?