So I thought I'd come see if I'm the only gay person in this group. I'm sure I'm not! It's not very PC these days, even in gay circles, to not want children, and even worse to not LIKE them. At least that's my experience. What's yours? Also, did your family and friends quit bugging you about having kids when they found out you were gay?
I think I may be the only other gay person on this board, oddly enough. I came out late in life, and by the time I finally came out to my parents, they had already accepted the fact that I wasn't having kids. They had pretty much stopped bugging me about it when my siblings started sprogging. When I came out to my sister, she asked if that was the reason I didn't want kids. Of course I explained that, no, my lack of maternal desire is a completely separate issue from my orientation, and that I had chosen to remain CF long before I realized I was gay.
I almost feel like I don't really "qualify" as a lesbian because even though I'm only attracted to women, I'm in a hetero relationship. I was really naive and didn't figure things out until a few years ago, after a very happy decade with my husband. I left him about a year ago to strike out on my own and live the life that I thought I had missed out on, only to realize that he really is the one I want to be with despite his gender. It's kind of a long story, probably deserves its own post.
Oh and by the way, welcome to the board! This is really a great group of people, it's like an extended family.
Also, sometimes people don't necessarily want to be out on a given board. Since I'm out everywhere, I'm out here. I am frequently startled to find anyone is IN. Because I live in academia, I don't meet an awful lot of backward, prejudiced people. But there are still some situations where it is actually dangerous to be honest. I don't blame people who find themselves stuck there, like in the military. There's a HUGE differeence between shame and fear. There are crazy nutballs in this world who would still kill a gay person and think nothing of it.
*bump*
I identify as gay, although on very rare occasions I'm attracted to men. But all of my relationships in the past seven years have been of the female-female variety. I'm out to everyone. Just lately I'm becoming frustrated, though, because I keep dating women who want kids! Argh, pretty much a dealbreaker.
As I think I said on another thread, this is even a problem for us as senior citizens, because now lesbians are becoming not only parents, but grandparents, and we don't reaaly give a rat's patootie about your squalling grand-brats, either.
I married to a man, but I consider myself pansexual, which means I'm attracted to the person inside not what sex they are. (people don't usually know what it means so a lot of times I just say I'm Bi) I'm attracted to both women and men. I have told DH and some of my friends. It does cause confusion in people sometimes as they assume I'm not monogamous or something.
I was afraid to post here but I decided I would.
I am asexual. I have no interest in sexual matters male or female. It's the least known "alternative sexuality" that exists. Everyone knows about gays and lesbians even if it is a false ideal, but nobody knows about asexuals.
I know you're not alone, Eddy. Questions from people who think they are asexual, or think they may know someone who is, turn up in advice columns all the time. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. We're all wired differently.
Hey
I'm bi, so I figured I would jump in here. Hope that's OK.
I live in a very rural, farming, type area, so its assumed that since I'm almost 40 I must be a grandmother (gag) and that I should be welcoming the men hitting on me (gag). So far all the men have been chain smoking single dads looking for a second mama for their gaggles. (gag) If there is an active GLBT community up here, they're hiding it well. The "active" pagan scene up here is, well, pathetic really.
(10-05-2009 08:57 PM)Eddy Wrote: [ -> ]I was afraid to post here but I decided I would.
I am asexual. I have no interest in sexual matters male or female. It's the least known "alternative sexuality" that exists. Everyone knows about gays and lesbians even if it is a false ideal, but nobody knows about asexuals.
That is very interesting to know. Thank you for sharing that. I think I know someone who may also be asexual. I'm straight so I can't really identify with any of you but I'm glad we are all open enough to be able to discuss these types of things.
(10-06-2009 11:21 AM)jmk3482 Wrote: [ -> ] (10-05-2009 08:57 PM)Eddy Wrote: [ -> ]I was afraid to post here but I decided I would.
I am asexual. I have no interest in sexual matters male or female. It's the least known "alternative sexuality" that exists. Everyone knows about gays and lesbians even if it is a false ideal, but nobody knows about asexuals.
That is very interesting to know. Thank you for sharing that. I think I know someone who may also be asexual. I'm straight so I can't really identify with any of you but I'm glad we are all open enough to be able to discuss these types of things.
I will second that. I didn't think much about asexuality before Eddy and a few others on the board discussed this. It also made me think about the over-sexualization of everything in this culture, also that there wasn't anything wrong with me if I didn't want to have sex with DH every Saturday night(there is an expectation out there that you want to do it whenever possible).
(10-06-2009 11:53 AM)noelle Wrote: [ -> ]I will second that. I didn't think much about asexuality before Eddy and a few others on the board discussed this. It also made me think about the over-sexualization of everything in this culture, also that there wasn't anything wrong with me if I didn't want to have sex with DH every Saturday night(there is an expectation out there that you want to do it whenever possible).
It's very true. Sex is used to sell everything and people are gullible enough to believe that a new car will make you better looking.
I know several people who identify as asexual.
Eddy, I agree with you about sex being used to sell everything. It's annoying.
I'm straight and "active," but I'm not all that "INTO" sex, if you know what I mean. I enjoy what I have, but it's not all that important to me.
Jen M.
I have no identification. And I don't mean I'm pansexual or bisexual, just that I don't know anymore. I used to identify as pansexual but now I'm starting to question that and question myself. And yet I'm answering this thread when I don't even know what the hell I am. Eh.
Well, talking can sometimes help you to figure things out.
Jen