We Kid You Not Childfree Forums

oh, i am almost certain they did it on purpose, there were a few times where she told me that when they said they were "sick" when she got there to pick them up they were fine, they just "missed" her and wanted to go home.

Sapphire Wrote:I couldn't be in a relationship with a man who has kids. I don't like to be around them at home--how could you relax?

My Sendiments exactly Sapphire. Let alone ever having any expectations of ever being FIRST in the relationship. Which of course I am, but If I had kids? Never, lol
Nope not me Kids won't work in my life. I need to be First and that suits us both just fine

I don't date but I honestly could not deal with a woman who has kids because the attitudes we would have would be too different.

Total dealbreaker for me. When I was on dating sites, I put it right in my profile that I would not date men who had or wanted kids. I did notice that a few such men (dads) would contact me anyway, but I would ignore them.

Jen M.

Tommy, I would be very careful of people who have any connection with kids in ANY capacity. We were friendly with a couple. They were CF and broke up for compatibility reasons. Fine. So one of them them marries a woman with one grown child. We'll call her Trashy. She marries a man, we'll call him Boob. They have a kid, we'll call him Babyshit, and IMMEDIATELY, both of these women went into high gear Granny Mode. This was a signal to Trashy and Boob that they could foist the (now that they have sprogged Mucous) brats on them and go on line 24/7 to play World of Warcraft. So there's no point trying to even communicate wih the Grannies, because it's nonstop Babyshit and Mucous. Thes things can backfire and snowball something awful. Kids are like metatastic cancer. Avoid at all costs.

I wish I had a dollar for every older couple I knew who had to take custody of and raise grandkids because their own child and whomever they mated with were incapable of keeping a decent home for the kid. Just because someone has grown kids is no guarantee whatsoever that there will be no children in the home. Given the current economy and the lack of parenting skills in post-baby boomers, chances are great that one will have to help raise grandkids. Ick!

For me, a guy with kids is a dealbreaker. Been there, done that, got the postcard but don't wanna go back. I think that to really connect with someone, I would feel the need to be on the same page about a few things, this being one of them. Granted, that may limit my options...but I honestly don't mind if they are limited.

Exactly Lulu Belle, I tried the dating a lady with a child, disaster. Took a long time to find someone who doesnt have kids, doesnt want kids, and i am compatible with, but now that i found her, i couldnt be happier. It is definitely worth waiting to find the right person. You have to be on the same page on the kid issue. if not, there is no way the relationship can work.

I am okay with dating men with kids -- most of my exes had kids, but at this point in my life, I think I would only consider those who had kids who were grown and gone. Little kids are no longer an option for me... it's not my idea of a life I want for myself.

I hate to genderize, but I think that men with kids they get on the weekends is an ALTOGETHER different ball of wax than mothers. If I were a CF guy, I'd be running scared, too, as mothers have their kids most of the time, and they are the ones who are mothers-first and people-second. I feel bad for CF guys, quite frankly.

A lot of good points about dating mommies or daddies. Another is the ex and the ex's family are never totally out of the picture when there's kids involved, which may or may not be a disaster, as some people here found out the hard way. There are a lot of horror stories about the crazy ex who doesn't want the ex-partner to date anyone. When there's no kids involved, there's no reason to deal with the ex.

Another reason is so many women and a lot of guys proclaim: My kids are everything; they are my whole world; they're my only reason for living; etc. etc. Where does this leave a new potential partner in the grand scheme of things? Would you accept being in a serious relationship where you will always be at the bottom of the food chain?

Good point Dog H, because in the end if the kids don't like you that could put a brake on the relationship. And being CF chances are you don't *just love* kids. I also don't like that there would be potential for you and the kid to be alone as well. I wouldn't appreciate the built-in babysitter opportunity.

One thing about being the woman is, a lot of times I can tell a single dad wants a woman to be motherly and take over so the dad can be "off the hook" so to speak. I would personally not date a dad. I never ever have.