I really dislike bringing this up but it really annoys me, particularly on principle. Whenever I go out for brunch, dinner, drinks, etc with certain people, I usually foot more of the bill, especially covering the tips. An example was last night. Went out with a buddy. My entire entree with beverage was three dollars less than hers with beverage. Factor in tax and tip, and guess who ends up paying more than her share? You got it. I mean she barely covered her end without the tip. It's like she doesn't believe in tipping and it really irks me. We have not received bad service any of the times we dined out, but good service...so the waitperson should not have to be shortchanged. I really want to say something to her, but have been holding back because I don't want to start anything at the table, as I think it's tacky and bringing it up at other times feels weird. But next time I will say something. Even better: Though I didn't want to resort to this, I'll request separate checks.
What would you do in this situation? I'm interested in your outlook.
Kawi Wrote:I really dislike bringing this up but it really annoys me, particularly on principle. Whenever I go out for brunch, dinner, drinks, etc with certain people, I usually foot more of the bill, especially covering the tips. An example was last night. Went out with a buddy. My entire entree with beverage was three dollars less than hers with beverage. Factor in tax and tip, and guess who ends up paying more than her share? You got it. I mean she barely covered her end without the tip. It's like she doesn't believe in tipping and it really irks me. We have not received bad service any of the times we dined out, but good service...so the waitperson should not have to be shortchanged. I really want to say something to her, but have been holding back because I don't want to start anything at the table, as I think it's tacky and bringing it up at other times feels weird. But next time I will say something. Even better: Though I didn't want to resort to this, I'll request separate checks.
What would you do in this situation? I'm interested in your outlook.
Any time I'm out with friends, even if I know they would pay their share, we always get separate checks. To me, it's just common sense. No one over pays for what they got and I can leave a tip based on my total bill, not theirs.
Separate checks, absolutely.
ORRR, when the check comes, snatch it up at once, and be the one to calculate her share and yours. Smile when you do it!
Agreed on all the advice above.
I have a friend exactly like this-she only tips 10%. I've solved the problem by whipping out my tip calculator(it's on my cell phone). This also has helped me with any conforontation, I just say I like to "play" with my tip calculator as I figure out her portion of the bill with a 20% tip.
Oh god, do I have a story about this.
I had a job where I worked installing computers around the state for the PA government. I was a temp making 10 bucks an hour while the permanent employees were making twice that. When we traveled we'd often be out overnight so of course we would have to go out to eat. They'd always say just split it four ways. Yeah, here's what would happen:
Permanent Guy 1: Porterhouse Steak, wine
Permanent Guy 2: Surf and Turf, mixed drink
Temp 1: Soup and Salad, Pepsi
Me: Soup and Salad, water
This went on for a week and I was growing more and more conscious of the disparity (and you know how paranoid I am about money because of my historically low income) and finally I snapped and ordered the waitress to give me my own tab. It was amazing how they suddenly downgraded their menu selections.
So just simply demand your own check.
I had that happen once when some of my coworkers got together at a really nice Sushi place in Vancouver. One guy had ordered the bare minimum. I ordered a reasonable amount. A couple of the others ordered the Chef's Special Selection (for $50). A couple of us didn't drink, but the others did.
So, when it came time to do the bill? Guess who said, let's split it evenly? Yep, the $50 entre plus drinks people.
We argued and ended up each paying our own tab.
I get embarrassed when I'm out with friends who don't tip well even if we have separate checks. I have been known to sneak back to a table or find a server and pay more than my fair share of a tip if I know we are out with people who will tip 10% or not tip over the tiniest thing.
I agree, seperate checks our call them out! Don't put up with that!
Thanks for your responses. It's cool to know that requesting separate checks is not taboo, as it appears to be a common practice. That's what I'll be doing next time.
Good for you guys for taking control of your situations. I HATE when people take advantage. It's so damn inconsiderate, and really, that's my big issue. Lack of consideration on someone else's part because I try to be as considerate of others as I can be. What peeved me off with my buddy was when I asked her if she had singles to contribute for the tip, she was adamant about not breaking a 20, and saying that she had no change left. It would not even have phased her if I broke a 20. I really don't get this mentality.
Request seperate checks. Even if they want to combine their bill, you still request your own. (and there is nothing 'rude' about saying it...incase others want to guilt trip you into paying more than your fair share).
yeah, definitely the separate checks. Only someone really selfish or WANTING to take advantage of someone else would be insulted by that. Especially in this economy where everyone is strapped for cash. Real friends understand that not everyone has a boat load of money to just splurge with at every meal. I always make sure to add up mine, with tax, and tip at least 20%. Sometimes i will tip more than that if i feel the other people at the table are short changing a really good server.
Because of behavior like this in other people and my own occasional financial troubles, I always try to get separate checks. I don't believe in not tipping, and I also don't want someone else to think I'm a mooch. I think separate checks just allow us to avoid all kinds of awkwardness.
Jen M.
Kawi Wrote:I really dislike bringing this up but it really annoys me, particularly on principle. Whenever I go out for brunch, dinner, drinks, etc with certain people, I usually foot more of the bill, especially covering the tips. An example was last night. Went out with a buddy. My entire entree with beverage was three dollars less than hers with beverage. Factor in tax and tip, and guess who ends up paying more than her share? You got it. I mean she barely covered her end without the tip. It's like she doesn't believe in tipping and it really irks me. We have not received bad service any of the times we dined out, but good service...so the waitperson should not have to be shortchanged. I really want to say something to her, but have been holding back because I don't want to start anything at the table, as I think it's tacky and bringing it up at other times feels weird. But next time I will say something. Even better: Though I didn't want to resort to this, I'll request separate checks.
What would you do in this situation? I'm interested in your outlook.
Just be aware: Some places charge to separate the tabs, and some places simply refuse to do it.
Jen M.
Kawi Wrote:Thanks for your responses. It's cool to know that requesting separate checks is not taboo, as it appears to be a common practice. That's what I'll be doing next time.
Good for you guys for taking control of your situations. I HATE when people take advantage. It's so damn inconsiderate, and really, that's my big issue. Lack of consideration on someone else's part because I try to be as considerate of others as I can be. What peeved me off with my buddy was when I asked her if she had singles to contribute for the tip, she was adamant about not breaking a 20, and saying that she had no change left. It would not even have phased her if I broke a 20. I really don't get this mentality.
I am glad that most restaurants in Houston do separate checks. In NYC, none of them did, and I often dealt with those nightmare dining situations mentioned above.
I don't know if people tip badly on purpose or if they just don't know how to calculate a tip in their head. Ditto for the "lets just split it _ ways" people. I don't think they are intentionally being greedy or just lazy.
I have a few stories on this subject.
1. I was in Las Vegas for the weekend. I had gotten a special hotel/airfare combo deal. I stupidly mentioned it to a male friend who had a crush on me, and he booked the same package, on the pretext of meeting another friend of his for her birthday. Well, he invited me to tag along to this friend's birthday dinner at the restaurant in the Paris hotel/casino.
I was not particularly wealthy at the time, and I was shocked at the prices. The entrees were all in the $30 range and came with NOTHING. Sides had to be ordered separately at $6 a pop. I ordered what I could afford. Everyone else ordered pricey stuff, including a $500 bottle of wine for the birthday girl. When the bill came, everyone except me wanted to split it 8 ways AND pay for the birthday girl's dinner. Mind you, I barely knew these people AND I was flat broke. All I had on me was $60 cash, which I ended up having to throw in. As you can imagine, I was PISSED! I did my best to be gracious so as not to ruin the BG's dinner, but when we left, I let my friend have it.
2. When I lived in NYC, I was a member of a social dining club. Once, a big group of us met for dinner at a restaurant. Since the restaurants don't do separate checks, the organizer, sat us in groups of 4. The 3 people I sat with decided they wanted to all share a bottle of wine. I don't drink wine, so I declined. Then one person threw some money on the table and left before the bill came. Then the bill came. The two others threw money down and left too. Stupid me was too busy talking to someone 1 table over to notice what was going on. Well, you guessed it! There was not nearly enough money on the table! So guess who ended up paying for the entire bottle of wine that I hadn't even drunk?
The organizer apologized and said he'd make a "no leaving until the check is paid" rule for future dinners, but that did nothing to help me.
3. One time I went to a weekend convention that had very few attendees. The same 10 of us had several meals together that weekend. At each meal, 9 of us threw in cash, and the hostess said, "I'll just take the cash and put the rest on my credit card." And at each meal, we were $20 short. By Sunday, we were going over the bill with a fine-tooth comb and still couldn't figure out why there was such a discrepancy. After much rumination, I have come to the conclusion that the woman who was paying by credit card must have been short-changing us. I guess she made a nice profit on the whole weekend!
I'm also generally afraid to ask for separate checks because I don't want the server getting annoyed or the other person thinking I'm being a dork. It is a good idea, though, you guys are right.
I always wonder if the people who order a lot and then try to 1/2 the check are doing it intentionally or they just have no clue. Either way it's sucky.
What's worse than this is the person who takes all the cash from the table and proclaims that they are going to put the entire bill on their credit card so they can "get the points". They end up getting more cash in their pocket because in the end, they don't tip as much on their card as they would have if they paid cash.
NKBurlington Wrote:What's worse than this is the person who takes all the cash from the table and proclaims that they are going to put the entire bill on their credit card so they can "get the points". They end up getting more cash in their pocket because in the end, they don't tip as much on their card as they would have if they paid cash.
Actually, I have done that a few times, but I end up tipping as well, or better than the others at the table.
I will now tell you my terrible tipping story. DH and I once went on a double date with a friend of mine from college. He was notoriously cheap. He made his date split an entree with him! Then, when it came time to pay the check, he had cash and we had a credit card. This was back when a lot of places used to take the service fee out of the servers' tips, so we put down cash to pay our share of the tip, and my friend put down his share. DH then went to pay the check up front with our credit card. While he was up there and my friend thought no one was looking, he took the tip from the table! I was so shocked I didn't even say anything. (I was also very young and stupid at the time.)
We never went out to dinner with him again. I was so mortified! However, I did have DH go back to the restaurant because he "forgot something" on the way back to the car and ensure that the server got our share of the tip.
OMG. That's terrible!
Jen M.